My Top 10 Oscar Memories of 2014... and Three Things I Hated: A CCD Rant by Mike D

So... it's finally over. Now that the Academy Awards have taken place, people can shift their bitching and moaning from who was nominated & who was snubbed to who won and who got the shaft. The Oscars always are divisive and cause arguments among film fans, but that is why they are so epic. I remember getting the pull outs of the nominees the day of the awards out of the Sunday paper as a kid and filling out my bracket, and often remember my parents and grandparents helping me to see all the films that were nominated. It holds a special place in my heart, so watching the show now if more of a "must do" behavior as opposed to "want to" behavior. I have to watch the show. That about sums it up. But there were some moments that were just perfect... basically the things you have come to know and love from the show. There were also a few things I hated. Not many, but a few. So here it goes... my 2014 Oscar recap rant, in all its snark and splendor. Hope you enjoy it...

And these are in no particular order... except for the last one!

1) Ellen was a great host. Very funny in her own way, and her shtick and gags worked well... especially the pizza & selfie one. She is the kind of host (both here and on her show) that takes down these celebs a peg and treats them like just a few other folks... and that makes them seem more accessible and regular to us. Her quips with Meryl Streep, her funny abuse of Brad Pitt, her referring to Marin Scorsese as Marty, and her calling out the mad king Harvey Weinstein himself... TWICE... are just a few examples of her killing it. And I love that she didn't compromise her self style and lifestyle as a gay woman by feeling the need to put on a dress. She rocks them suits so well... and made the whole hosting thing look easy!

2) Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful, but also seems to be having the time of her life. She is always smiling and genuinely looks totally unimpressed by all that is going on around her... she is honestly living her dream and you can see it in her fresh face. She is also the most candid and off the cuff funny actress out there right now. She waved off Pharrell when he was getting the celebs in the front row to dance because she knew she would probably crack up and fall, her faces when Ellen was giving her shot about falling last year, and her constant quips back and forth with her boyfriend Nick Holt (The Beast!) and her two time co star Bradley Cooper (they have some serious chemistry together) all night are just a few examples of her flippant confidence and why I (and so many others) love her so much.

3) Glad that there were some shocks. Leo was great, but to give it to Matthew Mac was a really big coup. Same for that Lupita chick... despite the fact she won a bunch of recent awards in the category I really didn't think she had a shot against a twosome like Jennifer Lawrence and Julia Roberts. Listen, I know Matthew McConaughey and all the other nominees all gave award winning performances. They are arguably the 5 best acting performances in that particular category, so no winner is a complete shock. But I really did think Leo would win it, considering how great he was and how popular the film was. But good for them, and all the winners! Mac is having one hell of a year... you came a long way from the Rom Com factory Matty!

4) Pharrel is super talented, but enough with that f'n hat already. C'mon man. We get it. You own that dumb hat in a variety of colors and are not afraid to break it out for EVERY public appearance you make. Please leave it home from now on. It is fucking retarded to look at... and he even animated it for his background Happy face screen saver. Ellen even used it as a physical prop in her money collecting joke. Please... you are a trendsetter, so please set another trend!

5) Amy Adams is very attractive to me, mostly because she looks and acts so normal. She doesn't "look" or "act" like the huge star she is, and that is cool. And her sexiness is just so flawless. Look at her hair. Always in the exact place it should be, never a strand out of whack. And her clothes fit perfect, even though she may not have the sexiest body of all the starlets. She is an every woman, but that makes her able to play and be believable in just about any role. She reminds me of a certain Mrs. Meryl Streep when she was Adams age. I suspect she will have the same type of career (maybe not 18 nominations successful, but epic nonetheless)

6) The acceptance speeches are always cool to me, but this years were great. This is when a person is at an absolute high point in their lives and then they are give a quick 1 and a 1/2 minute chance to speak on it, you are gonna get a bit of insight into that person. This year Matthew McConaughey joined the pantheon of all time great speeches. He killed. He was poignant, funny and introspective... never coming off douchey, yet finding time to honor God, his parents, his family and even work in a little one liner from his role in Wolf of Wall Street. Cool beans brother. I also really liked the dudes from Gravity. Good thing too, since they won so many awards! All that Spanglish talk was hysterical, especially when Cuaron called the people from Warners Brothers "wise guys" and then corrected himself by saying "wise people". Very funny stuff.

7) Even though 'Her' didn't win any of the major acting awards, winning for best screenplay must be really satisfying for Spike Jonez. He is an epic writer, so it is great to see his weird niche crack the big time. I always loved everything Spike did, and he seems to be one of those easy to please dudes that just wants to knock out cool stuff that he wants to get to the world. His movie making, writing and other projects are fun for him... they are labors of love. And it is apparent every time you see him smiling away, bopping around all happy go lucky. Glad to see what seems like a good dude get his due. Can't wait to see that movie ( I haven't seen it yet... sue me!)

8) The RIP clip was crazy good, and very touching. It hurt me as it does every year, since I love movies so much. Damn, it sucks to lose people... especially losing people that make movies, which I love so much. The big names don't shock anyone, because they are fresh in your heads. But its the ones who died early last year or the people behind the scenes that you don't really know by name (but love their work) really are tough to swallow. Starting with Tony Soprano and ending with Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a nice touch... and then having Bette Midler sing Wind Beneath My Wings was a nice touch. Nicely done.

9) That Somalian dude from Captain Phillips is a real dude, and looks like that in real life. Actually, the dude is even skinnier! The camera really does add 10 pounds... bringing his weight up to a robust 73 lbs.!!! At least on film. That is crazy... I thought it was movie magic, but that dude really looks like that... now that is insane. What is also fantastic is seeing a dude like him at the Oscars. Two years ago my man was probably toiling in obscurity back in Africa, and this dude is now thrust into the middle of the Hollywood free-for-all that is the Oscar experience. That must be surreal. Good for that dude... and good luck on his next role as Zombie #5 in season 5 of The Walking Dead. He is a steal since he don't really need any CGI or make-up to pull of the dead corpse look!!!

10) MY ABSOLUTE HIGHLIGHT:

Bill Murray giving Harold Ramis a shout out during the Best Cinematography category. Class act, well done. His hand was shaking after he did it as he tried to keep his emotions in check. Even funny guys get emotional.... and it was nice to see Murray showing that emotion, especially after he made his short and sweet public response to Ramis's death a bit easier to forgive. They were great collaborators, and no matter what happened between them over the years you can see how much losing him meant to Murray. Very touching.

And now for my three least favorite moments:

1) What the fuck John Travolta? What the absolute FUCK ?!? First you show up with a dead raccoon glued to your head, then you deliver a perfectly good monologue introducing Idina Mendzel... and the you absolutely BUTCHER her name ! How? WTF ??? Come on Vince Vega... you are better than that!

2) I love everything Sidney Pointier has done in film and for the furthering of African Americans in the movie and music industry, but i absolutely hated to see him up there looking like one of Michonne's pet zombies. He was stumbling over all his words, his eyes were all sunken in and big, and he looked helpless. I don't want to see one of my heroes like that. I'm glad he was there, and glad he is still alive. But don't put my dude on that type of stage and make him look stupid.

3) No music number for Ellen? That stinks. She is really talented. She could have killed a musical number. Billy Crystal did them great, and I kind of thought we would get that from Ellen. It would have been fun to see. Ellen was great, but one of the running jokes on her show is the fact that she loves music and dances on the show in her own funky style ALL THE TIME! How can you not do a number on this big a stage? C'mon MAN!    

Pretty cool show. No matter how pretentious the awards may be, the show will always be an important part of my year! Thanks for all the distractions....

Reviews From The Cave Of Cool - Django Unchained (2012)

The story of an ex-slave turned bounty hunter who goes on a blood soaked search for his wife is the most fun I have had with a movie in a long time. There are a hundred reasons why this shouldn't work but it does in spectacular fashion. This is another winner in the long lists of successes for Quentin Tarantino. You either love him or hate him but you can't ignore him.

I could watch Christoph Waltz in a movie everyday of the week. His Doctor King Shultz has such a cool line deliver and in this script he is given some brilliant things to say which he does with great relish. His humanity (even though he is a bounty hunter) is evident from the first time we see him. Tarantino has found his muse and I hope they make many movies together.

Click after the jump for more...




Daniel Day Lewis will get the Oscar for best actor but to me Waltz is even more deserving of praise because he had no model to base his character on. He only had his skills as an actor and great lines to create another memorable person in King Shultz. Luckily the Academy choose to nominate him in the Best Supporting actor spot so the two don't have to compete with each other. I have no doubt that Waltz will win his second Oscar and it's one of the few reasons I am interested in the awards show this year.

While searching for his latest bounty, Shultz finds Django (Jamie Fox), a slave. He frees him in exchange for information about the men Django knows and so begins the partnership of these two men who couldn't be more different but who at their hearts have a unique hatred of slavery.

Everyone who encounters the pair have a good reason to question their alliance but Waltz has an answer for everyone, be it a bullet or a well argued legal point. I found it thrilling. He knows every answer before the questions are even asked.

With his mentorship, Dr Shultz gives Django the confidence to seek out his own justice and it's alot of fun to see how quickly Django adapts to his new role as a 'free' man and avenging angel. The Dr. even teaches him to read.

To help Django develop he counsels that if you play the right 'role', you can achieve anything you want because racists are stupid and will believe anything you tell them.

I loved the way the story just pulls you in and makes you root for justice - violent justice but justice none the less. It was nicely cathartic to watch bad people get what was coming to them.

The Klansmen bitchin about the poor visibility they have through their hoods was hilarious. I like to think this is exactly the way these stupid peckerwoods operated.

"I think we all think that the bag was a nice idea. Now, not pointing any fingers, they could have been done better. So how 'bout, NO bags this time but NEXT time we get the bags right and go full regalia."

That is just GOOD writing and the funniest Klan-based comedy since Blazing Saddles. Was it necessary to the story? Not really but it reinforces the attitudes that whites had about blacks during that time in history and again, re-inforces the theme that racist white people are inherently dim and bigoted. Truth be told little has convinced me that those kinds of attitudes have changed in the South in the 150 years since slavery was abolished in the US.

I also have never seen a movie with a long running time feel so short. I wanted more of everything.

Once again Tarantino is a genius with his choice a music for the soundtrack. From all eras and styles he draws songs for inspiration and to set mood. His choices should jar you and take you out of the story but never do.

Now we have to talk about the use of the N-word. To me it's a non-issue. I personally cringe whenever I hear that word but in the context of this movie it's entirely appropriate. To not use it would have cheated us of the power that word has to put ground the story in some kind of reality, especially a movie set two years before the Civil War.

After what could have been it's own film, we get to part two of the tale. Django and Shultz discover where Django's wife, Brunhilda is. She was taught German as a child, a point that immediately intrigues Dr. Shultz and that small fact provides them with an opening to rescue Hildy from the clutches of her evil owner, the at once charming and deadly Calvin Caddie (Leonardo DiCaprio) from the plantation called Candyland.

Everything is working fine until a wise old house slave called Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson) trusts his instincts (and his immediate hatred for strutting Django) and throws the whole plan into the crapper.

It would cheat you to reveal what happens next but suffice it to say I left the theatre satisfied with everything I had seen and I think you will to.

Tarntino was criminally robbed of a best Director nomination but should win for best original screenplay - or at least I hope he does (N-word not withstanding). Nothing would please me more than seeing this excellent spaghetti western win Best Picture but nothing will stem the momentum that is Lincoln.

On The 5th Day of Christmas (2012), CCD Gave To Me..

Bar Rafeli. Wow... how much ass must Leonardo Di Caprio get that he actually broke it off with this Israeli stunner? He must be getting mad boy band type ass... good lord, I love me some Bar. And in this sexy Christmas themed photo shoot she proves that sexy doesn't have to be naked. Wearing short tops with pants & full butt underwear paired with some Santa items of clothing she is quite the vision. Who says Jews can't enjoy Christmas? She seems to be having a great time. Catch the beauty after the jump....

'Django Unchained' Finally Gets A Trailer... I Promptly Faint!!!

Quentin Tarantino is one of my favorite directors ever... shit, he is my favorite living director hands down. I look forward to every movie he makes with baited breath, anticipating another instant classic with each crazy plot point and casting choice QT announces. So when he said he was going to make a blaxploitation western starring Jamie Foxx as a free slave & Chistoph Waltz/Leonardo Dicaprio as white southerners with opposite views on slavery... yeah, my interest was piqued. Now we finally have a trailer. This is the safe for work trailer. I don't know if they could ever release a red band trailer for this flick, not with QTs penchant for the 'N' word... The level of bad assness is this 2 minute clip can't really be described. I can't wait for Christmas!!! Check out the trailer after the jump...

Um, It's Called An "Adaption"... WTF Is The Big Deal???

There has long been rumors of an American adaption to the famous Japanese anime (and one of my son Mikey & I's favorite cartoons ever!) 'Akira' forever. A few years back it started taking shape. First, Leonardo Di Caprio's production company Appian Way acquired the rights. Then The Hughes Brothers ('From Hell', 'The Book of Eli') became attached as directors. There have been many rumors on who would take on the lead roles of Kaneda & Tetsuo... everyone from Brad Pitt to Leo himself has seemed to be rumored at some point. Sure, this is a story about rebellious teenagers riding motorcycles and fighting rival gangs in Neo-Tokyo... but this is an "ADAPTION". Just for the record, doesn't that mean "BASED ON" & not "EXACT FUCKING REPLICA". WTF people?

The internet is rip roaring and so upset of this "White Washing" & "Corruption" of such a beloved story... yet why is everyone so upset? Isn't it supposed to be different? I don't want a shot for shot remake... how did that go for Gus Van Zandt's 'Psycho' adaption? Not fucking good... and thank goodness Vince Vaughn survived it in order to make 'The Wedding Crashers'. No, I don't want a shot for shot adaption. And I'm not mad that they are talking about a bunch of white actors for the parts...

Via The AV Club:

According to the report, the major contenders for Tetsuo are Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield, and James McAvoy, while Kaneda will most likely be played by Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, or Joaquin Phoenix.

Guess what? This is an AMERICAN version of the anime. AMERICAN. Why can't we have white guys playing the part? The locale is being moved to NYC... so isn't it logical that their would be White Americans there? Now if the movie was going to be based in Japan... well then I would see the "Nerd's of the 'Net" point of view. But if it's in America.... WTF? How bout the fact that the above list has no Black or Spanish actors on it? Nobody is saying that shit, right? Better yet, what if they talked about Jaden Smith in the lead role... would anybody be complaining about a "Black Washing" of the part? I doubt it... because everyone out there is scared to say it. Or what about the fact that if they go with any of those 30+ years old actors that they would be making a totally different film... that is not "Aging the Film Up", that is "Completly Changing the Whole Fucking Storyline!".

Sooooo... What's the moral of this rant? Here it is... just shut the fuck up and let them make the movie. If it sucks, so be it. If it's great, then like it. But just shut the fuck up. Either that, or you come up with a movie idea. Don't just bitch to bitch. People love to break on 'Batman Forever' & 'Batman and Robin'... yet rarely do you ever hear people CREDITING these often bashed movies as being directly responsible for the rebooting of the character and Nolan's take on Batman. Instead of bashing Schumacher, praise the man. Without his errors... well, lets just say I like my Batman Bale-rific and based in reality, thank you very much. There will be plenty of time to bash the movie later... if they ever FUCKING MAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!