WTF Was That? 5 Reasons Why "True Detective Season 2" Ended Up Shitting The Bed...

Soooo... Season 2 of True Detective on HBO is in the books and I have had a night to digest the season as a whole. I wanted to start writing this article last week, but I thought it best to reserve judgement until the full story was told. If I learned anything from watching various TV shows lately its that: a) a good finale can totally change the trajectory that a show has been on for a whole season and b) the events in the finale might actually make up for any shortcomings that the show may have created for a viewer. I definitely want to give Nic Pizzolato the chance he deserves to tell his own story. Anybody that knows ME or follows us on social media (search CCD.NYC on all media platforms and find us) knows that early on in Season 2 of TD I took the "wait and see what happens" approach before condemning the show. It gave me enough imagery and potential in the first few episodes to spur my interests, and I had high hopes for a second half comeback on the show the way Harrelson & McConaughey came through in the end. But now that it is all over, I am sitting back and shaking my head wondering what "could have/should have" been in the sequel season of the century. So here are my 5 biggest problems with the show, and in my humble opinion the reasons why the show disappointed so many people. Enjoy....

So, before we jump right in to my 5 reasons, let me just preface this with a few facts. The 1st season of TD, which I (among millions of others) loved, was not perfect from beginning to end. Anybody who says that they were 100% on board from the very beginning of the show is lying. My wife actually STOPPED watching it after episode #4 and never cam back. A lot of people were employing the strategy of hanging in and hoping for more... that is a fine assessment to have had. I tried to use this same strategy as I watched this season. Great minds think alike! But it was by no means perfect, especially not week to week. You can look back on the completed season 1 and say you dug it. But you can't tell me around episode 4 or 5 you weren't thinking of abandoning ship. So I am not writing this article just to spew hate on this season, or pile on. Just know that I really, really, REALLY wanted to like this season. The final product just didn't garner that reaction from me, so I gotta at least try and explain what I think went wrong.

Shhhhh... Spoilers Ahead!!!

1) What kind of fucked up casting do we have here?

I personally LOVE every single one of the main characters in the show. I have long thought Colin Farrell a great actor who gets a bad rap. Vince Vaughn has been in some of my all time favorite comedy movies. Rachel McAdams? Love her in almost everything I have seen her in (especially the Notebook... don't judge me!). And Taylor Kitsch. Well, lets just say that I have liked a bunch of the projects he has been in but I seem to be in the minority. Most have been lambasted as the "Worst Ever" in the respective categories (Wolverine: Origins - worst X-Men movie, Battleship - worst adaption of a non literary property, and John Carter - Worst ruination of a possible tent pole franchise in movie history). Let's just say it seems like the young actor possess the "Kitsch of Death" (thank you Jeff Bond for this pun), and the streak continues with TD season 2.

Scummy at its finest since James Woods...

Now I must start by saying that I don't particularly mind any of the above actors in the roles they played. I thought they all delivered pretty good performances. But I am curious why Pizzolato would push the envelope so hard to cast THESE actors against type so much. Farrell is the most accurately cast of the bunch. He has made a career of playing angst filled characters that have a scummy appearance yet can be attractive and righteous in the end.

Step aside, I'm in charge... 

Everyone else is kind of wildly cast against type. McAdams has always been the pure-hearted character, pure and sun-shiny sweet. Now she is a brooding goth twinged sex addict who has a knife fetish? OK... that is a shake up for sure. If that is the one switchero you want to pull when it comes to casting I can live with it. But then we got Vince Vaughn, gangster crime boss.

I am literally more afraid of EVERYONE in this picture than Vince Vaughn

Wait... what? Huh? Vaughn is a great actor, and I am pretty sure he can play a serious role of asked to. But this? This is a little much to expect from a guy who has been mostly known as a comedic actor. Wedding Crashers, Swingers, Made, Old School, The Breakup... these are comedic classics which Vaughn has killed in. So why make him the supposed "big bad" of the season? When I see his face, I crack up immediately. He is also a very slender 6'4, topping out at around 200 lbs, How is this supposed to inspire fear and a threatening nature? Boo.

Please stop hating me!

And then last but not least you have Kitsch, This poor fucking kid can't catch a break... er, actually that is not really true. ALL HE SEEMS TO DO IS CATCH BREAKS. And they never seem to pay off. Cameo role in an X movie as a spin off worthy character? Movie is consider worthless. Leading role in big summer action/alien movie Battleship? Considered one of the worst movies ever. Disney taking a shot a tent pole FRANCHISE in John Carter? Widely panned, mostly for his acting in it. So after such a bad 5 year track record, how exactly does he end up cast in a lead role in season 2 of one of the most anticipated shows in TV HISTORY? I just don't get it. I particularly like the guy and feel as if he has gotten the shaft in the judgement of him. Pizzolato obviously liked him too. But newsflash: EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD SEEMS TO HATE THIS GUY MORE THAN DONALD TRUMP AT A BURRITO FESTIVAL IN MEXICO CITY!!! Sometimes you just can't break a guy into stardom no matter how many chances you give him. This bi sexual PTSD afflicted motorcycle cop certainly did nothing to help change that public view of him.

2) Why all the side bars and plots that don't pay off?

Here is what I don't get. The season is UNREALISTICALLY short. 8 episodes? Huh? 10 is the absolute minimum amount you need to tell such a dense story. 12 is more realistic. But here is the funny thing. The reason why they did it in 8 is because most of the side plots and tangential stories didn't ever factor into the main storyline and never pay the fuck off. Casper and his sex addiction? His sex house and crazy masks? Even though Kitsch has dashboard cam footage of him NOT doing anything wrong to the starlet he pulled over, she somehow can keep coming after him withe hearsay and ruining his career? Why did the guy have to wear the Bird Mask to complete the two murders? McAdams dad being a yogi and running a child molester friendly compound? Farrell's wife being a huge hard ass when she could have found out the paternity of the kid in episode #2? Woodrugh's fucked up momma and his hot piece of baby momma ass being left in that hotel? Vince Vaughn and his red headed beauty of a wife not being able to have kids? Grandpa Velcoro and how Ray is connected to the corrupt cops? The coke addicted mayor of Vinci and his wacky ass family? The drug cartel that pops up mid season and weaves in and out of the story until they help bring it to a close with no real connection to anything? These are just a few...

The real Birdman ain't got shit on me...

Now I know that some of the things I listed above are actually EXPLAINED by the time the show is over. And I am not expecting them all to be explained thoroughly. But one of the only knocks you hear about shows that are universally loved like True Detective season 1 was that a bunch of the story lines are red herrings and macguffins. This is ramped up in season 2. So many of these things are never even justified for occupying screen time, and the ones that are answered are done so in a flippant way that are very matter of fact. Velcoro's cunt of an ex wife holds the child's paternity over his head and uses it as a method to push him out of the kids life. I get how that grinds him as a character. But her... she shouldn't have been finding out about it AFTER he was dead in a "what did I do" moment. If she was really maliciously trying to hang this guy out to dry and drive him away, that paternity test would have been done. But she somehow never took it that far, and then finally does and gets the positive results as we find out he is dead and also is a dad to another kid? We are being forced into painting Velcoro as a full fledged "good guy" even though they spent 7.5 episodes playing him as the anti-hero. That is lazy & hypocritical writing.

Why do these guys look like this?

And as for all the other stuff, the most egregious example is the Mexican drug cartel. They magically are interwoven into the story midway in order to provide a way to find the girl, then they become Frank's drug partners and disappear. They pop up again, and then disappear. Then they are the there, at the very end, to take out Semyon even though he has paid them a huge fee not to? Huh? What? Don't even get me started on the diabolical bobsie twins that are the big bads of the whole season. These two popped up once each in the first 7 episodes and then they are revealed to be behind everything. That is not fair to the viewer. You gotta dangle a few more details in the early eps to make the reveal fair. If not, then its a reveal of all new information and seems like a conclusion that was written to tie up loose ends instead of the conclusion that was always envisioned for the story from jump street. But we will talk more about that stuff in a bit....        

3) Why the hell didn't the story end up being about any of the main characters?

In the end, the story really wasn't about the main 4 characters. Bottom Line. The beginning of the story involves a whole bunch of corrupt cops from 1992 that robbed a jewelry store during the riots that created a pair of  orphan twins (which we only get small tidbits of until the final episode), the middle of the story is about a massive land deal be brokered by a sexual deviant who dies in one of the opening scenes of the season, and the finale of the story is about the shady land deal actually going through and the possibility that they may get exposed in the future. Maybe. Wait... what? The whole beginning, middle and end of this story has very little to do with our main 4 characters.

Your remember these guys right? The main characters....

The beginning can only be tangentially to the core 4 through the tie in of Velcoro's dad with the old cops. That is a generational tie in. That is the only real thing tying in the 4 characters to the 92 jewelry heist/murder. I guess Semyon is tied in because he was a low level street criminal back then, and McAdams/Kitsch because they are now cops 20+ years later. But there are no hard connections other than these to the base of the story.

The middle sees the core 4 characters kind of affect the whole story, but not really. Semyon is a criminal who is used as a mark by bigger crooks then him (the Russian mob, Caspere, etc) as they scam him into believing he is more important to the project than he is. They are just going to back stab him and steal his money, Semyon is probably just one of many "marks" this bigger crime syndicate has lined up. Velcoro is Semyon's self created "cop on the take", a one man wrecking crew that helps Frank get stuff done. But again, that his only real connection to the Land Deal Syndicate. Ani is just a female cop who happened to be sexually abused as a kid and her now sexual deviant nature allows her to infiltrate and expose the sex ring that conveniently houses all the PAPER RECORDS of the Land Deal Syndicate and can tie Caspere to the bad guys. And Kitsch is drawn into this whole story as a guy with a death wish joyriding his motorcycle in a slight suicide attempt who happens upon Caspere's dead body. Really? WTF...

And in the final moments, we see a united front of Seymon's wife and Ani in Mexico with all of the incriminating "paperwork" and a new Velcoro baby (they did only have sex once, right? Damn super sperm strikes again!) ready to blow the lid off of the Land Syndicate and their deal. Wait... didn't Frank send his boy and his wife to Oregon? And wasn't Ani sent to Mexico? So when Velcoro and Semyon don't show up to meet their girls, these chicks just happen to link up? How? Frank wanted his lady AWAY from everyone who could tie her to him. Hence the exile to OREGON. Velcoro wanted to protect Ani, hence the exile to Mexico. Yet they are able to track each other down and meet up, throw on floppy hats, and mount up to take down the Land Deal Syndicate?

Boss Bitches....

Ok... and you wack out Kitsch, Semyon and Velcoro by the end of the show, and all in weird ways. Why would Kitsch go to that meeting ALONE? Why would the Mexicans kill Frank after getting a higher pay off  than they were entitled to? And the worst has to be Velcoro, who knows that he is about to be followed via transponder and gets back in the car anyhow to drive to out of the city where he is at his sons school to a nice isolated wooded area to be killed. Huh? Why not drive to the police station, turn yourself in, and leak your info that you got on everyone? Nope... let me get to a desolate place so that my murder can be easily covered up by renegade cops!

Message Not Uploaded... probably not a great idea to drive up into the mountains/forest 

And in the end, the real estate deal still goes down. All of the criminal enterprises that ran through the season are still viable and presumably running again, and our best hopes of any justice for the martyred characters & taking down the Land Deal Syndicate lie in a pairing of an arm candy wife and the most psychologically damaged character of the core 4 with the SAME PAPERWORK THEY HAD FOR THREE EPISODES AND DID NOTHING WITH!!!! Great....

4) Why make the main villains of the story and the whole real problem of Season 2 take place in 1992 and not be part of the story the whole season?

Remember this scene? The only time you meet "Lenny" in the whole show prior to the Finale!

God damn those two kids. We never even heard about this jewelry heist/execution till almost half way through the season. Then we get tidbit after tidbit about these "kids" that may have witnessed it. And the boy kid figured all this shit out, killed a big shot like Caspere, and is literally responsible for this whole shit show of a TV season? Oh, and when Velcoro finally figures it out and confronts the boy he talks some sense into him.,,, only to have the maniac jump over the seats and attack Holloway in a PUBLIC PLACE FILLED WITH COPS. AND WITH A GODDAMN KNIFE!!!! Huh? WTF are you saying. This putz, Lenny, who has only been onscreen in Episode #3 for a quick second and hasn't been back on the show AT ALL is the main bad that started all this shit by killing Capsere and has continued to keep it rolling it along behind the scenes. This guy... really? Huh? Come on now. We have arch criminals like Semyon, dirty cops (both the 92 crew of rogue cops and Velcoro) aplenty, Russian gangsters, Crooked politicians, Mexican drug cartels, sex ring operators and the whole LAND DEAL SYNDICATE and this is the guy responsible for this whole series of events. This orphaned kid who grew up mad cause he witnessed his parents death? Weak sauce....

This reminded me a lot of last season how they "miraculously" concluded that Errol Childress, was the killer. A dude that before episode #8 of lasts season only appeared in a few scenes in TWO EPISODES. And then there he was, the big bad. There was literally NO WAY that anyone could have REMOTELY connected him to the storyline being played out by the writers up until that point. Same hold true here. Lenny comes out of the cobwebs of just ONE EPISODE as the whole catalyst for everything. C'mon. Don't make it so EASY that I solve it, but make it a bit more than having me have to Goggle who the fucking character actually is that makes the whole story work!    

Remember me? The bad guy no one saw coming in Season 1

5) You just had to make it "supernatural but not really supernatural"... didn't you?


This last thing ticked me off. One of the biggest disappoints of last years show was the conclusion that most of the supernatural occurrences that happened throughout the show ended up being more allegorical and in the characters minds than it seemed. These spiritual occurrences seem to be more aberrations than fact, and the existence of an actual killer (Errol Childress) instead of a dark, maleficent force being behind the whole thing really pissed off some people as they were waiting for a dark forces payoff in the reveal. But I liked the way Pizzolato used the supernatural stuff to forward the story and ultimately chalk it up to mostly Rust being batshit crazy. That and the possibility of a cult that Childress was loosely part of... maybe. They have steered CLEAR of all that wacky muckity muck this season, giving us a police procedural show with a dense story... until the very end.

Add ghosts of tormentors past here....

Then they just HAD to add in the bit of the ghosts talking to Frank as he plodded through the desert to his death from the stab wound. All the people who doubted him, made him develop into the bad guy he became. And then culminating in him seeing his "not dead" wife and realizing that he "is dead" and has dropped 15 feet prior! Grrrrr.... why? If his wife was "dead", then this scene would kind of make sense. He was "joining her on the other side... the better side" away from all the tragedy of this world. But SHE IS NOT DEAD! And if we are getting real, why the fuck should a creep criminal murderer/drug dealer/general piece of shit like him get a happy ending, even in his own mind? Weird and forced, seems like it was only added to make the show more "spiritual" like Season 1.

So that is that. I'm not saying I hated Season 2 of TD, but it certainly fell very short of my expectations. They can't all be winners, and I am willing to wait it out to the end. But ultimately, this show was a little to convoluted and not enough was paid off in the end. You disagree? Feel free to blast off in the comments sections below....    

Cheers to the haters like Mike D!

When Will It Stop: Why Are All The Nerds On The Internet Hating On The Ant Man Trailer? - A CCD Rant by Mike D

As I sat in my favorite bar n Brooklyn, the Irish Haven, watching Agent Carter with a few of my customers that are nerds like me I began to get excited. As the first hour came to a close (on a pretty great show, cause you know its Marvel...) I was anticipating the premiere of the Ant Man trailer. But then they announced that there was another hour of Agent Carter coming. Wait... what? How did I miss this? It was a 2 hour premiere? Ok... 1 more hour to anticipate the trailer. Hour 2 of Agent Carter was even better, and boy oh boy it was 9:55 Pm and we were finally here. It started... and I was completely breathless for 90 seconds. Trying to take it all in, I didn't want to miss a thing. And as I turned to my friends at the bar, they seemed about as jazzed as I was. I couldn't wait till the next morning when it hit the 'Net and I could get a proper breakdown (like this great one from the Den of Geeks!) of the whole packed trailer screenshot by screenshot. So imagine my surprise when I saw a bunch of my friends (and fellow nerds) on FB bashing the 90 second trailer, and then found a majority of articles doing the same... WHAAAAATTTT??? I can understand why a non comic fan might not be excited, but what did all these (supposed) informed nerds watch to be so mad about? I felt a rant brewing, and after a few days I have to unleash....

More after the jump...



So listen, I am not trying to say that the Ant Man trailer was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I liked it... a lot. But I am an uber nerd. And especially an Avenger comic uber nerd. So to finally get Mr. Hank Pym and his suit in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is absolutely amazing to me. To get an expanded character list (Scott Lang, Yellowjacket, Hope Van Dyne) makes me even MORE excited. Ant Man is an original 5 Avenger. He was in The Avengers before Cap. Check the facts jack... most of these cornball fans who only know the movies don't realize how important Mr. Pym is to the Avenger family. How can we have gotten this far and have no Ant Man or Wasp. Not even a mention. Wow. So in my eyes, this is more than DUE. But for some this is Marvel reaching... how? This character NEEDS to be in the long term Avengers story. How can anyone debate that?

Avengers #1, Cover by King Kirby... Ant Man billed #2 overall, ahead of Hulk & IRON MAN!

Now lets get right to the trailer. I will start with a few things I like, and then I will tackle these suppose dummies and their criticism. First off, in the comics Scott Lang is a bad ass felon who steals Pym's Ant Man suit to commit crimes for his sick daughters medical bills. When I heard they cast Paul Rudd I was a bit worried. I like Rudd, but could I buy him as a criminal (albeit a good-intentioned one) as a prison hardened criminal. Well the trailer answers that with a resounding yes. The stubble, the slim and trim look, the black skully hat wearing Rudd looked the part... and he was believable in all the prison "fight for your life scenes". And when he is reunited with his sick daughter? Yup, I am feeling the pain of a parent who has to turn to crime to help his child. Rudd seems solid as the lead, which was one of my original worries. So there is that.

OK, I am buying Rudd as a good hearted bad guy in over his head....

Then we get to the tech and the suit. Douglas looks and sounds the part of Pym, and if he is truly going to be integrated into the middle era of the Marvel Cinematic universe (between Agent Carter in the late 40s and Iron Man of the 2000s) through flashbacks then I am all for the mix of high and low tech in his labs. These can also be secret labs for  Pym that has to leave the public world... and needs help from Lang to do something. Kind of like that hidden S.H.I.E.L.D. computer lab that Cap & Widow find Armin Zola in. Trapped in time, but still quite functional. Oh, and the suit is pretty amazing. The helmet is perfect, and the suit is sleek with a dark red coloring that keeps the original feel that King Kirby intended with his designs yet modernizes it in a way that makes it believable. This is the best costume design in relation to the original character that I have seen in quite a while. Bad ass in my mind.

Original Jack Kirby Ant Man

More recent incarnation of the Ant Man suit

Cmon.... what could anybody have to say about this?

Then we got the shrinking, which was done in a great way. He just evaporated, and then he is 3 inches tall... insane. And he rode a flying bug. A FLYING BUG! HE RODE A FLYING BUG IN THE TRAILER!!! What else do you people want.... this is the quintessential Ant Man, pulled directly from the pages, and people are complaining? Get the fuck outta here. It is perfect. Plus, two years ago we saw the possibilities of a fighting Ant Man back in the teaser trailer from Edgar Wright. The running towards a dude full speed, shrinking down mid air and getting past them has been shown to us... the action will be FINE. How can any fan of the comic or character think these character designs and action segments weren't great?

Original panel....

Pretty close, no? 

Then we get the supporting cast. Cory Stoll is a mean looking dude off rip, and I cant't wait to see him as the multi-armed Yellow Jacket (if those leaked character designs were real) raging. I like Stoll, especially from House of Cards. I think he can be a cool baddie. Hope Van Dyne? Evangeline Lilly is great, and I love that they are going with her. That means when she eventually does become The Wasp (and eventually maybe even The Red Queen?) it will be a modern version, leaving her momma Janet Van Dyne and the original Wasp for those in between years we talked about above through flashbacks. More characters for the Agent Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D. cold war era shows to bridge the gap. And did you see her training Lang??? She is already a bad ass.

It is the first trailer. You aren't going get to get major reveals. No plot points. At least I hope not. It is called a "TEASER" for a reason. It is just supposed to wet your appetite. So why would people be so upset about it? So far here are the top complaints I have heard:

1. No story lines revealed.
2. Characters are delved into enough.
3. It looks like a Honey I Shrunk The Kids rip off...
4. A lot like Iron Man, no?
5. The "can we change the name" joke was corny.
6. Aren't we tired of Marvel yet?

So lets hit on a few of these. This is going to be fun.


1) No story lines are supposed to be revealed. It is a TRAILER. The FIRST TRAILER. What did you think you were going to see, the final scene?

2) Just enough intro to the core cast to intrigue you, and get you speculating. How much of the flashbacks to Pym as Ant Man be in the movie? Will Janet Van Dyne appear? Will Hope become Wasp? How long into the movie before Lang starts the Ant Man schtick? What the hell will Yellowjacket look like... and why is he so mad at Pym? Not delved into enough... my head is swimming with scenarios!!!

3) Honey I Shrunk The Kids is a rip off of Ant Man. Not the other way around. If you say that you sound like a) an uninformed douche b) trying to be intentionally snarky when you know better or c) oblivious to the fact that Ant Man is AN ORIGINAL AVENGER!!!!! Either choice you are can not be tolerated or taken seriously! (I'm talking to you Lock!!!!)

One more time, just as a reminder

4)  Like Iron Man? How? The action of any of these movies is going to be.... how would you say it... COMIC BOOK-ESQUE? Because, you know, they are based on comics! Jesus.... to say that this "looks" like something previous after only 90 seconds of footage that PROBABLY WON'T MAKE THE MOVIE ANYWAY is just haters going to hate. But how exactly does this look like Iron Man (or any other Marvel movie) at all? I'm not really sure I understand the comparisons.

5) The joke was corny? Is it? I remember when the first Guardians trailer dropped. Hooked On A Feeling playing throughout. All people could talk about was that song... "is it going to be in the whole movie?" That would be SO GOOFY. Tell me its not going to be that SAME SONG over and over..." Yadda Yadda Yadda. Remember that? No... think hard. Try to remember. It was ALL anybody wanted to talk about. Oh, that and how this was probably going to be Marvel's FIRST MISS. How did it all turn out? Well, James Gunn made a pretty amazing movie that finished the calendar year as the HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Oh, and the song WAS IN IT... but the overwhelming success of the whole film HINGED on Awesome Mix Vol. 1 and how it was used as both a story telling device and overall soundtrack to the fantastic movie. To think that a SONG was what people were picking out as the possible problem with Guardians of the Galaxy and in turn the soundtrack becoming the strongest & most appealing part of the movie was a sweet comeuppance for all the haters, no?
 
6) The short answer to the question "Aren't We Tired Of Marvel Yet?" is simple: NO... No we are not. Need proof? Guardians made the most money of the year at the box office. #1. Not the billion dollar Transformer franchise. Not the 30 year old TMNT brand. Not good ole Captain America in his second (and totally amazing) film (that finished #3 for the year BTW in money earned). Not the conclusion of the Middle Earth series, or the Mockingjay, nor X-men in their greatest comic adventure. Not Spider-Man, or Angelina Jolie as a Disney villain/heroine. Not Disney or Dreamwork's latest animated masterpieces. Not the resurrection of Godzilla with Walter White aiding him. Not even Christopher Nolan and the McConaug-isance could top a TALKING RACCOON, two Green mercenaries, a guy best known as Fat Andy and WALKING TREE. WTF more proof do you need? Oh, and the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. has really began to hit its stride, Agent Carter was extremely well received, and Daredevil is about to kick off the whole Netflix experiment. Oh, and lets not forget about the 9 movies that Marvel just announced over the next 5 years. Yeah, I guess everyone is sick of Marvel. LOL.

So in closing, just remember that words like TEASER and TRAILER are used in these instances for a reason. They are SNIPPETS of info to garner interest... a good TRAILER shouldn't even be constructed with key plot points, visuals or anything. It just needs to peek someones interest. Also, try to remember that the words TEASER & TRAILER are not SYNONYMS with FINISHED PRODUCT or FINAL VERSION OF A MOVIE. I know its hard, but lets do ourselves all a favor and save all the hate we have for terrible travesties like the remake of Annie or the next property/board game/tv show that they want to re-brand and distribute. That is where the hate should go....

Learn from the past... Marvel got this. At least I think so. So in closing I end with this:

MAKE MINE MARVEL!!! EXCELSIOR!!!!!

Mike D's 5th Annual Top 10 Anticipated Summer Movies (Not Including Sequels, Prequels and Remakes!) - The 2014 Edition

So with arrival of Captain America 2 a few weeks back and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 today, it seems Hollywood has succeeded in pushing back the "Summer Movie Season" from June 1st to mid April. But after this weekend the movies really start pouring in. Now when I do my 'Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movie' list I have a few ground rules. #1) No Sequels or Prequels: I love myself some sequels, prequels... pretty much all -quels. But for this list I leave them off. Cap was high on my list. So is Spidey, X-Men, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Transformers 4 (which I really am looking forward too) and others. But I will stick with first timers for this list. #2) No Remakes: Make no mistake about it, Godzilla has me more intrigued then pretty much ANYTHING coming out in the next few months. But it is old hat, so it stays off the list. So will something like Jersey Boys, which although is a 1st time film its a remake of a play. #3) This is MY MOST ANTICIPATED LIST... not a best of list, or most successful list. Strictly what I WANT TO SEE, not anything more or less.

So now that we got the rules out of the way, lets get right into it:



This list is in order from 10-1, 1 being my most anticipated:

10) Maleficent - May 30th, 2014

Stars: Sharlto Copley, Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning
Director: Robert Stromberg

I'm intrigued to see this telling of the classic Sleeping Beauty story told from the other side of the action... we get to see what the bad girl, Maleficent, thinks about the classic tale and why she may have done the things she has did. Jolie looks magnificent in the part, and the effects look great. The House of Mouse is behind it, so you know it is going to bring the A game. I'm in for some bad guy fun....

9) The Fault In Our Stars - June 6th, 2014

Stars: Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Willem Dafoe, Laura Dern
Director: Josh Boone

This one is based on a hit book from a couple of years ago that I have been told to read by about 100 people. The premise is sad, but intriguing: Two young adults meet each other at a cancer survivors group and begin an interesting relationship of dependence on each other. Great supporting cast in Dafoe & Dern, and a base from a book that is widely considered as amazing. You need a tear-jerker every once in a blue, and this one could be it. Plus Woodley is a soon to be break out star. She is on the verge....

8) Edge of Tomorrow - June 6th, 2014

Stars: Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton
Director: Doug Liman

Liman has a career pass from me because I loved Mr. & Mrs. Smith and he knows how to make exciting action films. Cruise has been making some surprising films in the last few years in the action genre that have flown under the radar (Oblivion, Jack Reacher, Knight and Day) but have been extremely entertaining. Emily Blunt is a piece... I do love her. And she is looking to round out her resume with some action work. And Bill Paxton is coming hot off his run on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for Marvel. He is on as good as a run as ever, and he has been GREAT in the past. Throw in exo-skeleton battle suits and I'm sold.

7) Jupiter Ascending - July 18th, 2014

Stars: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean
Director: Andy and Lana Wachowski

Everyone has there opinions on The Matrix, but like them films or not there is no denying that they changed action films FOREVER. Any film in the action genre is judged as BM and AM (Before Matrix and After Matrix) when judging the execution. But The Wachowski's have proven that if they love something they will turn out some riveting pieces of cinema. V for Vendetta, Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas all may have missed the mainstream targets that The Matrix films attracted... but all 3 are very good in their own ways and were some of my faves. That makes me wanna check this one out, no matter how many pictures I see of Channing Tatum with elf ears as a hybrid alien/human bounty hunter I see. Kunis is cute, and Eddard Stark is in it. I have learned from the past Wachowski movies that anything you think the film may be about from the trailers is probably wrong. So I go into this one with a blank slate and HIGH expectations.

6) Million Dollar Arm -May 16th, 2014

Stars: John Hamm, Lake Bell, Bill Paxton, Aasif Mandvi,
Director: Craig Gillespie

I have a major soft spot for underdog sports movies, and especially ones that are based on true stories. When the House of Mouse decides to tell the true story of a major league baseball scout that goes to India to try and find young cricket players who can be mold into Major League Baseball pitchers. The premise is so crazy that it can't be true, but it is! And you have one of my favorite below the radar actresses (Lake Bell) acting across Don Draper! Sparks on gonna fly... and once again you gte Paxton, in the middle of a Matthew McConaughey type resurgence in his career. Sold, Sold and SOLD!

5) The Rover - June 13th, 2014

Stars: David Field, Robert Pattinson, Guy Pierce
Director: David Michod

Foreign Films are much more accessible now a days then they have been in the past. And when you have a director who has gotten Hollywood & The Academy's attention with a small, arthouse film (Animal House) about a crazy family embroiled in crime you will get even more attention. And then you got Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) himself making name as an actor after the Twilight series. Set in the Australian Outback (where Michod is from) and employing some great actors and some Outback regular folks as well, this looks to be an interesting crime tale.  

4) A Million Ways To Die In The West - May 30th, 2014

Stars: Seth McFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Giovanni Ribisi, Amanda Seyfried
Director: Seth McFaralane

I have to admit that I was late to the TED party. I saw the teddy bear film after it came out on DVD, despite great reviews and the urging of my buddies. But that won't happen again, because I absolutely adored that flick and I won't let it happen again. This time McFarlane takes a shot at his Blazing Saddles: A period film that is set in the Old West yet echoes modern sentiments the way Saddles did back in 1974. McFarlane's humor, whether you like it or not, is popular. And that popularity leads to a cast of bonafide movie stars to help him out. This one could be great....

3) Lucy - August 8th, 2014

Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Claire Tran
Director: Luc Besson

Coming hot off her role as Black Widow in Cap 2, Sco Jo is back kicking even more ass as Besson's latest femme fatale. Besson has a track record for having kick ass female leads in his films and including more action than one can handle. The dude practically invented the inclusion of parkour into film martial art scenes, and District 13 remains one of the most exciting movies I have ever seen. Scarlett as a chick who is infected with a wonder medication that allows her to consistently evolve and upgrade her physical, metaphysical and mental stature? Yup... plus the tank tops she is seen sporting in the trailers don't dissuade me from showing up.

2) Neighbors - May 9th, 2014

Stars: Zac Efron, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Dave Franco
Director: Nick Stoller

The Five Year Engagement was a very smart and funny comedy... and not everyone's cup of tea. I was not as fall down funny as people expected a Jason Segal lead film would be. But that made it so much more. So when director Stoller made his next film, he tapped the comedic genius of Seth Rogen and went balls to the wall with the raunchy comedy. According to Rogen, they have "broken new ground in the DICK JOKE genre". Yup... that is something I want to see... NEED TO SEE! Plus Efron and Franco as douchey fraternity brothers moving in next to a sweet newlywed couple with a baby. I hope the best bits (the air bags, the Robert De Niro themed costume party) aren't in the commercials and the movie has more to offer.

And finally....

1) Guardians of the Galaxy - August 1st, 2014

Stars:  Lee Pace, Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, David Bautista, Bradley Cooper (voice), Vin Diesel (voice), Benicio Del Torro
Director: James Gunn

Good lord.... it really all comes to this. Marvel has been on one hell of a run. 3 Iron Man films, 2 Cap films, 2 Thor films, 1 Hulk film and The Avengers... 9 killer movies that have been wildly successful. The least successful of the movies, The Incredible Hulk, still made an ASTOUNDING 263.5 MILLION DOLLARS. If that is a failure, then any other studio would gladly sign up for those results. Now Marvel is about to do something even crazier... they are taking the Marvel Cinematic Universe TO OUTER SPACE!!! There is a lot of weird going on here: 1) A talking, machine gun toting raccoon 2) A walking, talking tree 3) multiple team members that are green aliens 4) an anti hero thief (Han Solo anyone) as the leader of the squad 5) Bencio Del Torro is that ridiculous white wig! and 6) an ambitious appointing as director to James Gunn, who previously has only directed a hyper violent vigilante superhero flick in Super and a bloody alien horror/comedy movie in Slither. As much as comics are a niche thing, average people know who Hulk, Cap, Thor, and other mainstream heroes are. The success those films have had gone a long way in attracting casual viewers into theaters for superhero flicks (aka more money at the box office). Will they come out to see some obscure title from the Marvel catalog? I don't know about them, but I will be there with BELLS ON!!!!  

Honorable Mention that couldn't make the list:

Spidey 2, Godzilla, X Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump St, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Jersey Boys, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Hercules, TMNT, Sin City 2, Transformers 4, The Quiet Ones

A CCD Rant by Joe Esq: Am I The Only Nerd Who Gets Annoyed...

... When they change stuff in the comic book to make it match the movies? Ok look, I understand the corporate robot-think that leads to comic book companies doing this, but I find it contemptible and I'll never agree with it. And that's not just nerd-rage talking, the way I see it, its a really shortsighted and stupid thing to do.

Ostensibly, the (flawed) logic behind this practice boils down to this: more people see the movies than read the books. Some of those people MIGHT see the movie and be curious enough to start reading the books too. So, lets make the books look as much like the movies as possible so that when (if) these potential new readers come along, they're not immediately alienated by things being different than they're used to.  To me, this just reeks of desperate pandering and, if you think about it, its actually insulting not only to the people who were already comic fans, but to these potential new readers as well.

Basically, this practice demonstrates that the publishers' (despite seemingly being desperate for their business) have an underlying belief that these non-comic book reading movie-goers are a bunch of morons. Seriously, "the comic is a little different" or "they changed that for the movie" are concepts any 10-year-old can understand. Why the conceptual red carpet needs to be rolled out for a bunch of people who are only potentially reading the books is beyond me. Is "the X-Men wear blue and yellow costumes in the comic books" really too high-concept for the average non-comic reading movie-goer to grasp? Are the publishers that insecure that the stories and art aren't good enough to sell themselves on their own merits? If  someone is curious enough buy a comic book, the fact that something is different isn't going to make or break their decision to keep buying. Have some self-esteem!

Because, while you're busy pandering to people who aren't buying your product yet, the worse effect of this is that it inevitably alienates the loyal readers YOU ALREADY HAVE!. You know, the ones who are already regularly shelling out 3 bucks an issue, week after week, all these years? The ones whose loyalty was a large part of the reason these characters (and the whole medium) have enjoyed the longevity that made movies about them a viable option in the first? No? Not ringing any bells? Oh, right, screw them. They're hooked, and you're already getting their money.

For me, and I'm sure I'm not alone, every time there's a change in a book I'm reading to match something from the movies, its jarring. And annoying. Sometimes its just a cosmetic change, but other times the storylines have to do gymnastics in order to get things to line up. Either way, it's like a metaphorical record scratch right across the page of the comic. Below, I have a few of the most egregious, off the top of my head examples, but before I give you those, I just want to sum up. Comic Book Publishers, STOP DOING THIS! You're alienating people who already pay you money in order to pander to people who don't. Let them join the club, stop trying to change the club while begging them to join!

In case you're lost, here's some examples of what I mean:

1. Nick Fury is black now (in the Marvel 616 Universe).

Ok, so in the Marvel Ultimate Universe, the design of Nick Fury was based on Samuel L. Jackson. Then they make the Marvel movies and cast Sam Jackson as Fury... which somehow leads to a convoluted story where the Nick Fury in the main (616) Marvel Universe is a black guy that looks like Sam Jackson. Ohh, he's Nick Fury JUNIOR? Yeah, that makes it better. 

  

2. Mystique is a blue lizard:

In 2001's X-Men Forever miniseries Mystique is exposed to dangerous levels of radiation and ends up looking like the ridiculous naked blue lizard they made her in movies. Sure, in the films it was a nice excuse for horny geeks to pretend they were seeing naked Rebecca Romijin or Jennifer Lawrence, but one, you're really not; and two, the visual does not translate well to the comic book page at all. 

3. Toad has cool powers:

Now, objectively this one could be called an improvement. In the comics, Toad was a short fat dude whose power was he could jump real high. In the movie he's a skinny, athletic guy who could jump real high, knows parkour and has 25 foot long prehensile tongue. So of course, again in the 2001 X-Men Forever mini (which may as well have been called X-Men: PLEASE BUY US AND LIKE US BECAUSE YOU SAW THE MOVIE) convoluted measures are taken to make Toad green, skinny, have a 25-foot tongue, adhesive saliva, and pheromone powers (because there's a rule that every non-main character mutant in the X-Men movie universe must have 47 powers). So sure, while the new movie-inspired Toad is "cooler" than the old Toad, it still feels like unneccesary pandering to me.

4. Transformers faces:

I didn't feel like doing photo research for this one. You all know what I mean. They looked shitty in the movie, they look even shittier in the comic. Thankfully, I think they've already stopped drawing them that way.

5. Spidey's organic webbing:

So, to match the way it was in the movies (and because Peter having biological webbing is more "realistic" than him having invented a webbing and shooters to go along with his other powers), Marvel made Peter develop organic web shooters in the comic. Yeah that's a great idea, take an integral part of classic comic book Americana and discard it so some movie jerk won't feel too alienated by it... on the off chance that that movie jerk actually picks up the comic in the first place. The comic storyline involved Spidey being turned into an actual giant spider and then back. Can we just acknowledge that Spider-Man spraying sticky organic fluid all over his enemies, and the city, is gross? Thankfully, the spinnerettes coincidentally developed in his wrists, instead of his rear end, like a real spider. This mutation of his powers has been ignored since the "Brand New Day" storyline (which I will not discuss here, because its a whole other can of nerd-rage), and Peter is back to using his man-made webbing.

So that's five of the worst. There's more. Hawkeye's costume; the aforementioned cladding of the X-Men in all leather; Coulson suddenly showing up everywhere; I could go on and on. I guess we should just be thankful that there's an even longer list of stuff that was changed for the movies that the comic books have left intact (Deadpool anyone?).

Sigh, nerd rage...... 

Captain America: The Winter Soldier or How Marvel Keeps Making Nearly Perfect Movies & Why I Love Them - A CCD Rant by Mike D

There are a lot of bigger, better, corporately sponsored websites & blogs out there covering pop culture, movies, and comics that get the scoop long before a movie is commercially released. They get to sit down with the creators, pick the brains of the actors involved, and visit the sets to see whats going on. They get to critique the films with early viewings, sometimes being able to watch the movie multiple times even before it gets released. And that is all fine and good... there is a place for that. But this is not that kind of place. I am just a regular schnook, running a regular blog from my house... and the closest I can get to a scoop is watching the movie at a midnight showing the day it comes out. That is good enough for me, and often leads to some of my aforementioned CCD RANTS by Mike D. They are often cathartic for me, and they get a bunch of my readers and friends to comment about my pros & cons. Today, the morning after watching Marvel's latest opus 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier', you guys get another rant from me.

You're welcome.... you're all WELCOME!!!

So here it goes. My Pros (many) & Cons (a few) of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Enjoy it (or rip it apart) after the jump...



OK, lets get started. First, a brief summary: I pretty much loved this film, and just upon a first viewing (obviously I reserve the right to change my opinion after multiple viewings in the future) I would say it would have to fall somewhere in the top 3 Marvel flicks so far. So cool, the people in charge really drilled this one. The performances were great, the old characters were improved, the new characters were even cooler, and the action was amped up to a billion! Yup... I kinda liked this one. But seriously, I will explain just why I think this movie is so great and the few mis-steps that Marvel may have taken. So here we go....

Oh, SPOILERS TO FOLLOW!!!!!!!

Pro's: (In No Particular Order)

1) The characters (both new and old) were executed PERFECTLY!!!

Very rarely does a movie, especially in comic movies, do the film makers and writers get character attributes and performances perfectly right. Captain America: TWS is that film. Cap, Black Widow and Nick Fury were all fantastic. They all gave their best performances to date, with Scarlett Johanson surprising me the most... and that is mostly due to the fact that Sam Jackson & Chris Evans have been great throughout their runs as Cap & Fury. Johanson has been adequate thus far, but she actually gets to shine a bunch during this film and looks great doing it. I also love the Armin Zola character that gets a toss back in the film (more on him later. Oh, and Cobie Smulders has Maria Hill down pretty solid.

As far as the new characters, they are all pretty great too. Falcon couldn't be cooler (more on him later to). Robert Redford was fantastic as the bad guy in disguise as a good guy Alexander Pierce. And Sebastian Stan as Bucky aka The Winter Soldier.... wow. All I can say is wow. I haven't seen deadness and despair in a character like that in a long time. He was epic as a villain, and made you feel like Cap & the crew were truly in danger throughout the film. The cast was extremely solid, and it showed in the execution of the film.

2)  Cap's message has never faltered since day 1, and it ultimately comes to complete fruition:

Ever since Evan's Cap was busted outta that glacier & graced the big screen he has been preaching the tenants of freedom and liberty... something very fundamental ingrained in a character like Captain America. And most of the time all the other characters (both Avenger's and S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents alike) kind of role their eyes at the nativity that they feel Cap possess since he was gone all that time. He belongs to another era, another generation and a way of thinking. Fury and the new gang, especially after the events in Avengers (the Attack on NY), are more about prevention BEFORE crimes even happen than they are about combating it AFTER it occurs. This has always troubled Cap, but where else but S.H.I.E.L.D. can he call home after being frozen for 50+ years? He has always bitched and moaned about "liberty's virtues" and the like, but hates Fury's unscrupulous tactics and plan execution that is often deemed for the good of everyone involved. Cap's vocalization on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s questionable tactics and plans becomes even more fervent in this opus, and is proven to be wholeheartedly correct with the uncovering of the infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. by H.Y.D.R.A. all the way up to the highest levels. And Project Insight is the highlight of just how wrong Fury and the rest of the Marvel Universe has been and how absolutely correct Cap has been.... always listen to the old dudes, those cats KNOW STUFF!!!

Truthfully, I think this is important because it drives home how morally perfect Cap is and shows he doesn't care if his opinion is unpopular. He holds on to his beliefs, and knows that in the end they will be proven to be righteous. Cap is that guy... always has been, always will be.

3) It's The Little Things....  

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has worked so well because they figured out a way to make it all work together. All the films tie in to each other, and provide little nods and clues as to what will be coming up. The nods can be obvious (such as Thor's Hammer in Iron Man 2) or not so obvious to anybody besides comic book nerds like me (like who the fuck was Benecio del Torro supposed to be in the post credit sequence of Thor 2: The Dark World) in the movies. But most of these little surprises often would come in those aforementioned post credit sequences. Lately Marvel has been working in more and more winks and nods right into the films themselves. Need proof: Lets just look at S.H.I.E.L.D. Strike Team leader Brock Rumlow. Throughout the movie he was Cap's main foil, a former supposes ally of Caps that turned his back on him once Cap is deemed a national threat. To the regular movie viewer he is just the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent/ HYDRA plant that leads the team up against Cap & his cronies. But comic nerds will immediately recognize Brock Rumlow's name as the same name of villain CrossBones. This is an even bigger deal because Rumlow is dragged from the Triskelion building wreckage and seems to be clinging onto life by a thread. Chances are he will be re-conditioned and brought back by HYDRA as CrossBones in a future Marvel movie. Oh, and Batroc the Leaper was a subtle touch. Nice, but very subtle. And Zola finally becoming an AI technology with his face on a screen as opposed to an actual human? We are one step closer to the 'Krang' type body suit with Zola on a TV head made famous by the comics. That is coming, I just know it....

Also, I love the passage that is quoted on Nick Fury's headstone. Ezekiel 25:17... you know, Sam Jackson's famous bible quote from Pulp Fiction? Yup, they quoted Sam Jackson's most memorable character on Sam Jackson's characters headstone. Brilliant. I like the inclusion of Jasper Sitwell (Maximiliano Hernandez) from the S.H.I.E.L.D TV show as well, and the little name drops (Stephen Strange... anyone else hear that one) when they are mentioning people who could be dangerous to HYDRA according to Zola's algorithm. Oh, and how about the post credit sequence featuring Baron Von Strucker, Quicksilver, and Scarlett Witch? Wow....

4) The fighting in this movie was absolutely epic:

Whether you like this flick or not, all will have to agree that the action was ratcheted up to a billion. But what impressed me the most had to be the hand to hand nature of the fighting. The epic melees between The Winter Soldier and Cap/Black Widow/Falcon were amazing. Especially the fist fight between Cap & Bucky. TWS posses and armored arm technology that is eerily similar to the tech that Deathlok employees in the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show. And it helps even the playing field when fighting the Super Soldier himself. Not to mention that Zola worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. after infiltrating them as a supposed turncoat only to help HYDRA spread throughout the ranks. That means that he probably injected Bucky (as well as others) with concoctions based on the original Super Soldier serum. Batroc certainly put up a hell of a fight against Cap on the boat... a much better fight one would expect a real mortal regular dude would. And Rumlow also seemed to full of a bit more of the old 'piss & vinegar' than other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Maybe he was on some of Zola's old 'Super Juice' mixture himself? But all the fights were really cool, as were Widow emasculating as many dudes as she could. And Falcon.... wow. He gets his own section of praise....

5) Falcon:      

Yup, perfect idea and execution for the character. Anthony Mackie was perfect for the part of Sam Wilson, downplaying just how special of a soldier he was during his tours in the Army. His patient and tactical nature was perfectly translated to the big screen, and the Falcon suit was so fucking cool. I wish they would have made the wings red (I am a comic nerd... lol) but it was realistic, which is what immediately popped into my kind as a potential problem considering what his costume in the comic books. They made him look tactical in the vein of what they did with Hawkeye, and  it works well. Also, I like his choice in mini uzi's that are small and light, making him able to use both hands to fire. Pretty sweet, looking forward to seeing more of him in the future.

6) The Tech... OHHHHH THE TECH!!!

The tech in the film is great, but that is to be expected. This is S.H.I.E.L.D. after all. But all the big stuff (like the next generation helicarriers, the satellite powered weapons systems, and the masking apparatus Widow wears to fool Redford) were all very, very cool. But the thing that really got me was the individual weapons. Cap used his shield like never before on film, routinely bouncing it off walls to carom and take out baddies. Widow had plenty of toys, but the ones I liked the best were when she used her shock gauntlets (not used nearly enough) and her electric charged EMP discs that she even uses on her self. Falcon we have already touched on. You gotta love the old school mixed with new school tech for Armin Zola's computer lair... it was retro but functional. I also dug the submerged docks for the helicarriers on the water surrounding the Triskelion, and the World Security Council's 'Jedi Council-esque' holographic generators they used for meetings. Oh, and the Winter Soldier had some cool tricks up his sleeve to. The arm was amazing, but I liked his array of small weapons (knives, guns, grenades, grappling hook, etc) that he used for every unique situation that was presented to him. I also like the way he used his handguns to set up his punches against Cap. Oh, and Loki's staff at the end as the potential source for experiments conducted by HYDRA that seem to be leading to the creation of 'Miracle' people like the twins Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch). Cool shit throughout.

7) Laying out the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe: 

They definitely closed out some great ideas and storylines with Cap 2. Fury is supposedly dead, so he is stalking HYDRA in secret. Widow is out of S.H.I.E.L.D. and on her own. Cap is about ready to go looking for Bucky, and Bucky seems to be looking for some answers himself since he did rescue Cap before leaving the scene and then resurfacing at the Smithsonian looking for answers about himself. Von Strucker is shown continuing the secret cell work of HYDRA, and he seems to be in control of some powerful potential weapons in Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch, as well as CrossBones. Not to mention the ramifications of the Hydra infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. will have on the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show. After all, Sitwell is an intricate part of what has been going on with Agent Coulson and his crew. His outing as a HYDRA agent and subsequent death (at least he looked to be dead) at the hands of Bucky must be addressed on the show. And all the proof that there are tons of important folks in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that would be threats to HYDRA (aka potential superheroes and good guys). Thanks for getting all that in there. Now I am even more eager to watch the films that are coming up...

And now, the cons... not nearly as many, but a few that bothered me:

1) Who the hell was Robert Redford supposed to be anyway:

Well, at the start of the film we know he is a very high ranking government official for the US. He hired Fury tp head up S.H.I.E.L.D. long ago, and is the US representative on the World Security Council. After the film, we now know that he was one of the highest ranking HYDRA members that infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. and many other governments. But just who is Alexander Pierce? I was convinced that there would be a big reveal that Pierce was some high ranking HYDRA operative. Maybe Baron Von Strucker (we see him later in the flick, so no)? Or Baron Zemo (not yet... )? Or perhaps The Red Skull... yup, that was the one I was banking on. Why you ask? Well, Hugo Weaving did not enjoy playing the Red Skull and did not want to reprise the role. Truth is, Weaving's actual face is supposed to be a mask that he wears over his hideous skull face. The red faced skull is the characters ACTUAL face... so any human that plays him is really just a disguise. So in essence Redford could have been the Skull, just in a face mask posing as Pierce. It would have been perfect, and make a lot of sense... and it would also re-insert Red Skull back into the mix without needing Weaving for the role. But instead we just get a vague villain with no real back story as to who he exactly is in the grand HYDRA infiltration scheme. That is a shortcoming of this story.... but maybe it will be cleared up in the future movies or the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV Show.

2) Why was Arnim Zola so forthcoming with information to Black Widow & Captain America:

This one really threw me and my buddy Tommy Lombardozzi for a loop. When Cap & BW find the hidden bunker of Arnim Zola they are greeted by the computer animated voice of the Nazi criminal. He promptly begins weaving the tale to the clueless BW & Cap about the fact that he became an ally of S.H.I.E.L.D. aftre WW 2, that it was all part of a big plan for HYDRA to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. all along, and how they plan on finally executing the infiltration with the implementation of Project Insight. He also tips them off about the potential 'targets' of Insight, the fellow special people that would be a threat to HYDRA. Cap & Black Widow are both completely slack jawed and in awe about how deep the conspiracy runs... which begs the point: Why in the COMPLETE FUCK would Zola tell them anything truthful? The explanation in the movie is simply Zola is "wasting time" while the impending drone missile could make its way towards the bunker to kill Cap & Widow. But couldn't he have just told them some tale about nothing instead of giving them all the info they had NO CLUE ABOUT on the off chance that both (or at the very least one) of them might actually survive the missile strike? This is just lazy screenwriting and a way to further the plot. It is dumb, and it is just unnecessarily cliche. The typical ranting Bond Villain speech that has undone a million baddies before him. Even if Cap & Widow escaped, they would have very little information to go on, and probably never would have gotten to Jasper Sitwell. Therefore the film could have never unfolded... but that is not my problem! That is their problem as writers, and they should have just done better.

3) Where THE FUCK ARE ANY OF THE OTHER AVENGERS?

I can understand that this is Cap's movie and that Black Widow is an intricate part of the story... but if there was a major catastrophe going on involving S.H.I.E.L.D. than surely somebody would show up, no? I can come up with a valid excuse for Thor (he is unaware re-building Asgard) and even Iron Man (he has no armor left after Iron Man 3)... but S.H.I.E.L.D. members Hulk & Hawkeye should KIND of be around, or at the very least explained OUT of the story. If you explain it, then I have no problem with it. But it takes only a short little convo to explain it all away. If not, then I see NO REASON for Hulk not to start smashing the shit out of those helicarriers and the HYDRA twerps occupying them!

So that is it. Overall, I liked it very much. But it could have been a tad tighter. So once you have seen it, what did you think? Where do you stand on the topic? Weigh in below and let me know what you think I got right and what I got wrong. This has been another CCD Rant by Mike D, I hope you enjoyed it!!!