Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone, Patricia Clarkson, Woody Harrelson
I know. You’re just as confused as I am, right? You’re sittin’ there in your little house dress.... scratchin’ your hairy chin and saying to yourself, “didn’t this movie come out already?!”
Well you know it did. And I know it did. But I don’t think the sheeple of Hollywood think you know and I know that they know it did but they just don’t care. So now what?
The really bizarre thing here will be that, regardless of this cinematic repeat parrot, chances are it will do annoyingly well at the box office. Presumably because (in my best cornish, Zoolander impression) of it’s really, really, ridiculously good looking leading starlets. Chicks also tend to eat this corny fake romance crap up while guys will tolerate it and go see it in hopes to get a sneak peak of Kunis’ snack sacks. 89.7% (yes this is an accurate figure!) of my male friends admitted to seeing Black Swan because they wanted to see Portman and Kunis dine out on each other. Not that there is anything wrong with this but…I’m sure you get my point.
Another thing that ruffles my feathers is that the additional talent that is involved in this movie is confusing to me. Woody Harrelson and Richard Jenkins? Who the hell convinced these “way too overqualified” people to add this tasteless crap to their resumes? Maybe I’ll consider the whole “they didn’t know a similar film was being made” excuse, which I really don’t believe either because everyone knows what everyone is doing in this business. Or they felt like “trying something different.” But really, all you need to see is Justin Timberlake being airlifted by a helicopter in a straight jacket to know that this movie is going to be an absolute waste of $12+ bucks. Too bad this shit isn’t being released on April Fool’s Day. Then I’d totally be in on the joke.
Fun read. You always have a way with words in your writings.
ReplyDeleteI notice a trend that's been happening lately in Hollywood. Each year there's a premise that isn't duplicated once...but, sometimes subtly... 3, 4 or times in the same year.
I remember first being annoyed in '98 when both 'Armageddon' and 'Deep Impact' were being pushed out around the same time...both asteroid-colliding-with-earth films. I was looking forward to 'Deep Impact' for quite sometime and than it had to contend with 'Armageddon' ..regardless of which you feel is better it saturated the market and had people wondering which was the copy of the other. Than again in 2006 (I can't pinpoint if it happened too much in between those years) this happened with 'The Prestige' and 'The Illusionist' both magician films greenlit at the same time. You'd think the 'powers that be' in Hollywood would try and scrap one of them...or make a deal with the other studio NOT to make theirs. Seems to me that no matter how they look at it...2 titles with similar premises will saturate the market and make the idea stale....
But that didn't stop them! 'Cause last year I counted atleast 4 romantic-action-comedies that centered around the same premise...completely saturating the idea. An agent(spy, law enforcement of some sort) drags around a witness of the opposite sex inorder to keep them safe. (wonder if they'll end up making out?) Comedy and romance ensues. (see 'Knight & Day', 'The Bounty Hunter', 'Killers' and 'The Tourist') I was saddened because I had been looking forward to 'The Tourist' and moreso 'Knight & Day' but, than the other 2 were released WAY before the obviously better two and, again, saturated the market for that genre and left a bad taste in viewers mouths who didn't turn out in droves to see the better 2.
Let's just hope these are the final 2 'Friends that F*ck' films for a while. I'll vomit if I see another 2 or 3 of these pop-up within the next year.
Yes, this scenario is played out in the movies far too many times, especially recently. But honestly, as one of the 'chicks that like corny fake romance crap', the celebrities they cast is more of why I go see these movies. I have always been a Justin fan and he is not bad to look at at all if I might say so myself. And I'm really starting to like Mila Kunis as an actress. I think she is a good physcial comic and ever since Blackswan, she isn't so bad to look at as well. :) Good read over all Krispen. Very entertaining as usual!
ReplyDeleteWait... I thought we had plans to see this! What the?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteSo, you're saying this movie is like Black Swan?
ReplyDeleteJediRob,I think she was referring to that Ashton Kutcher, Jennifer Aniston movie, Just Friends or something like that.
ReplyDeleteThis movie looks like complete garbage. Same can be said about the people wasting their money on supporting this nonsense.