Welcome back my depraved little boys and girls. Welcome to Pt. 2 of An Argument In Depravity. If you read yesterdays first half to this column (
click here if you haven't) I decided to torture myself by watching two of the sickest flicks ever committed to celluloid back to back. The Human Centipede 2 was one of the sickest things I had ever watched, but now I was in for an even bigger shock to the system: I had before me 1 hour and 43 minutes worth of uncut depravity. A Serbian Film is the stuff of legend, and that legend has been spreading like wildfire around the'Net for the past few months. I finally sat down for a movie that I have heard a ton about but have avoided all types of spoilers for. Yup, even though I had heard a lot about the movie, I had pretty much stayed spoiler free. And since you can't really make a trailer out of a movie that is basically 7/8 completely fucked up, I set forth on this path completely uninformed and naive. I'll never make that fucking mistake again!!! Click after the jump for the rest of the story...
As the movie started off, I immediately prepared to be let down. I mean, you know how hype works. Once something is built up and built up, chances are it will never live up to the expectations. And honestly, people have been bigging this one up for awhile. Imagine my surprise when the opening scene is a five year old blonde kid watching a hardcore fucking porno!!! Yup, full on fucking... and the five year old was just kicking back and watching it. Why didn't I grow up in Serbia for fucks sake? Anyway, when his mom and dad do wake up and discover him watching the porn, they just calmly shut it off and sit on the couch with him. No yelling. No screaming. Just calm... even some singing if I remember correctly! How can anything bad happen to these guys:
Milos, the father in the rosy picture above, is a former porn star in Serbia. Check that... Milos is the RON JEREMY of Serbian Porn. His has since retired, but his cock is the stuff of legends. Now he is trying to be a family man, so he is leaving the smut behind. He gets contacted by one of his old female co-stars, Lejla, who offers him a role in some art film that will score him a big payday. Even though Milos wants out of the industry, if he can score a big payday not doing typical smut the he will do it for his family. So he agrees to meet the mysterious filmmaker, Vukmir in order to discuss the role. Around this time we get introduced to Markos, Milos's strait laced cop brother. Something just ain't quite right about this guy, but so far this film has been pretty calm. Oh yeah, it has only been on for around 12 minutes...
Upon meeting Vukmir, you immediately get the sense that something isn't right. He tells Milos that he is looking forward to working with his legendary cock in a totally artistic way. In order to preserve the artistic nature of what they will be filming, Vukmir makes Milos sign his contract without telling him what type of filming he will be doing. Milos reluctantly agrees and plans to meet Vukmir's driver Rasa tomorrow morning at his house. Upon leaving, Milos calls Markos and asks him to look into the mysterious Vukmir. Markos agrees, and then the camera pans back to him having his cock sucked by a hooker while watching home videos of Milos's sons birthday party. Seems Markos has a thing for his brothers wife... at least enough of a thing to get hard while she is singing happy birthday to her four year old. Yeah, this one is starting to move towards weird... rather rapidly in fact.
Cut to the first day of filming. Rasa escorts Milos on set, where Vukmir gives him a headset. This is so Vukmir can pass orders to Milos while he is being filmed. They shoot some normal scenes, all involving a pretty 13-ish year old girl named Jeca. There seems to be some trouble between Jeca's mom and the authorities. Milos is brought into a room where an actress crawls over to him on her hands and knees. She starts blowing him, but then two large screens start projecting images of Jeca in front of Milos. one screen shows her putting on lipstick, the other eating an ice pop. This freaks Milos out a bit, but then he remembers that he is a degenerate porn star piece of shit and gets back into his groove. He cums on the chicks face as the films of the 13 year old doing regular shit play. Weirdness kicking up a bit more....
On day 2 of shooting, Milos is put in a room with a physically distressed (what I mean to say is BEAT TO SHIT) women and Jeca dressed up like Alice from Wonderland. Milos is then instructed to fuck the lady in front of Jeca, but he refuse just as she is about to blow him. The lady bites down on his cock, and he is accosted from behind by one of Vukmir's henchmen. He is forced to finish the scene and is applauded by Vukmir upon completion. He wheels around, lays out the guard, and storms off. He decides that he will quit the film. He meets up with Markos, who tells him Vukmir is a former child psychologist and worked for the government. He tells Milos that Vukmir is one the up and up, but Milos decides to quit anyway. He vows to do so the next day.
Rasa arrives to pick Milos up, but Milos gets in his own car to go break the news to Vukmir that he is losing his star. He tells Vukmir, and Vukmir wants to show him a video on what it is he is trying to do. You see, he makes art. It's more than porn... its art. He gives Milos a drink and begins a film that shows a pregnant lady being helped onto a table. Now as I sit there watching this, I realized that shit is about to get real. Really fucking real. But I could never have realized just how real it was about to get. As the film plays, it shows Rasa enters the room. He spreads the ladies legs and begins to induce labor. The birth is slow and graphic, and they show it all. Surprisingly, Milos is sitting patiently and taking the film in. Then Rasa takes the newborn baby, slaps it on its ass, and the baby begins to cry. Rasa promptly turns his back to the camera and forces himself inside the newborn fetus, starting to pump viciously as he is having sex with a baby! I can't begin to tell you how disgusted I was, and I found myself in another situation where I looked away but couldn't escape the blood curdling screams of the baby as Rasa bulldozed it. Sick. Pure sick. Obviously Milos thought so to, because he gets up and runs out. Vukmir doesn't follow him, instead he yells that he has created a new genre... "Newborn Porn"!!!!
At this moment I decided I was done with this sick as fuck movie. To be honest, I hadn't been amused at all over the depravity here... it was not like any of the other sick movies I have seen. It brought me back to the night I sat in the theater watching 'Cannibal Holocaust' with my girlfriend and had to watch the brutal tribal rape scene. It was not funny, not amusing, not cool. It was just sick and it made even my sick mind think twice about continuing... but I pushed on then, and I push on now. I restarted the movie and watched Milos leave the house. He gets in his car, and he begins to hallucinate. As he pulls up to a stop sign, he is approached by Vukmir's female doctor. She starts reaching in the window, kissing him and fondling his junk. and then hits him with a needle to the neck. She moves him over gets in the car, and the screen goes black. Get ready for the roller coaster to officially leave the rails !!!!
But instead of blood curdling horror, we get a noisy alarm ringing and Milos waking up in his own bed. He is covered in bruises and blood and has no idea how he got there. He looks at the alarm, and it hits him that the alrm says Monday and all the mess with Vukmir happened on Friday. That is a three day blackout!!! He scrambles to get on the phone and call his wife, but gets no answer. He heads out the front door, and sees Rasa's BMW waiting... but no Rasa. He checks his pocket, finds the key, and makes moves to Vukmir's house of horrors. Upon arrival, the house seems empty. He finds some tapes and a camera, and begins to view the films. They are of Vukmir and his crew, and they depict some of the events of the last few days. Seems as if Milos is pumped with a drug compound that keeps him totally hard, inhibits his free will, and makes him very easily open to suggestions. He is then lead into a room where he sees a chick chained to the bed.
Vukmir begins submitting instructions to his drugged stud to get on the bed and begin banging the chained girl. He starts humping her, and Milos urges him to go harder. Vukmir begins to tell him how bad the lady is, and that he should hit her. He blasts her in the ribs and spine with donkey punches as he bangs away. You can see the redness and bruising spreading as the assault picks up. Milos is getting even more into his performance as he is assaulting the shit out of her back.
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| How do you go from this... |
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| To this |
Just then, one of Vukmir's assistant mercenaries hands Milos a machete. At Vumir's urging, Milos chops off the bitches head as he continues to fuck her. It doesn't come clean off, so Milos is hacking away. Blood is spraying and Vukmir is exclaiming the joys of rigor mortis as the head separates from the body and Milos finishes. They drag him off of the headless corpse and put him in a cell. Milos is shocked at what he has seen and decides to watch another tape. Bad move brother. Bad move.
This tape starts with an unconscious Milos in the cell. Two of Vukmir's henchmen , one of them being the one that Milos knocked out earlier, enter the cell. One begins to film as the former assault victim sodomizes Milos while sporting a smile that can only be called Disney-esque. He is thoroughly enjoying this anal rape of the unconscious Milos, and he is not afraid to show it. I mean, he is part of a crew that has a baby rapist as a member, so he needs to have a bit of a mean streak to keep his spot. This home film isn't so bad, except that it has to crush Milos's spirit. He then watches a third film that shows his former co-worker Lejla chained up with all of he teeth knocked out and blood all over her face.
A new guy, this one sporting a crazy white hood/mask, enters the room and begins to mouth fuck the former porn star with no teeth. He fully inserts his unit into her mouth, leaves it all the way in, and then pinches her nose... yup, death by cock. While this is extremely brutal, you almost feel like it is a break for Lejla. At least she didn't lose her head to a machete blast.
Milos was racked with fear, but new there was more. He begins to remember another location that he was taken to on his drug induced weekend of hell, so he gets in the car and makes his way to a warehouse. When he enters, there is a bed in the middle of a large warehouse with dead bodies strewn all around. there are also cameras set up all around. Milos makes his way into the room, and he identifies Vukmir's body as well as Rasa and some more of his goons. He gets on the camera and begins to watch. The bed has two bodies on it, each fully covered up from head to torso with a sheet and mask. Only the bottom half of the bodies are sticking out. Milos is lead to the bed, where he begins to fuck the one on the left. After going to town on that person, he is then instructed to move to the next one. Milos does, and has a hard time entering his second victim. This task isn't so easy, and I began to notice that the legs on victim #2 are a bit smaller. All I could think is that the young Jeca was about to be defiled by the drugged Milos. That would have been terrible... but nowhere near as bad as what ACTUALLY happens.
As Milos finally enters the smaller body, the white hooded guy who mouth fucked Lejla to death comes onto the bed. They are both side by side, fucking their victims from behind and looking at each other. Vukmir creeps into the frame, and remove the white mask from the second attacker. It is revealed to be Markos, Milos's jealous brother. I knew this guy wasn't right! Vukmir then remove the hood of Markos's victim and it turns out that it is Milos's wife!!! Milos stares in horror as his own brother tops off his beloved wife. While this is crushing enough, Vukmir decides to get the ultimate crush in. He removes the hood off of Milos's partner, and it is revealed that he has been anally raping HIS OWN 5 YEAR OLD SON!!!! WTF!!! WHATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! I can honestly say I didn't see this level of depravity coming at all. I fully thought it was the 13 year old Jeca... and that would have been pretty terrible. But this is by far the worse person who can have been under that hood.
Milos begins to take in the whole scene and falls off the bed. Markos leaves the bed as well, and is standing off to the side. He is smashed over the head with a sculpture by Milos's bloodied wife, and she begins to pound him in the face with the sculpture in a manner that evokes Alex from A Clockwork Orange beating the lady with the cock sculpture. Milos gets up, grabs Vukmir and takes him down, and then begins to smash his skull on the ground. The goon squad moves in, and Milos gets a hold of one of their guns. he shoots two of them dead, and Rasa the giant starts making his way towards him. He pops him twice in the chest, but runs out of bullets. Rasa grabs him, and a struggle ensues. He cracks Rasa one, and the giant falls to his knees. His glasses come off reveals a missing eye. Milos then uses his cock as a weapon and fucks Rasa in the eye socket to death. Wow, I can't believe I just typed that. He literally brained the guy like a zombie with his massive horse cock. Vukmir lies dying as Milos gathers his crushed family, screaming "THAT'S CINEMA!!!". Milos knocks out his wife and they leave with their son.
Milos remembers that he brought his family home, so he rushed out of the warehouse and arrives at his house. He opens a back bedroom door and his wife and son are sitting, bloody and unresponsive. They shower, and Milos's wife sees him contemplating suicide. She comes over and silently looks at him, and then they retire to the bedroom. And understanding is reached that their family is broken and can never be fixed. They get on the bed, have a hug with their son in the middle of them, and the camera pans back.... Milos has his handgun at his wives back and he fires a shot that pierces all three of their bodies in a suicide plan. They begin to bleed out and the camera goes black...
As I sit there trying to piece the last 20-30 minutes together, the screen came back. it shows Milos and his family laying their dead. But there is a noise off camera, and the it happens. the camera pans back to reveal a naked guy holding his cock, a director, and two camera men. They stare at the dead bodies, and then the director instructs the porn stud to "START WITH THE LITTLE ONE"!!!! HOLY. FUCKING. SHITBALLS!!!!! As if this whole fucking film wasn't bad enough, now they are gonna film the rape of these corpses??? WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with the people in Serbia?
Honestly, I have seen some fucked up shit in my life. But this movie took the fucking cake. I felt filthy for watching this one. This movie is so bad that movie programmers in Spain were arrested for showing it at a film festival and the director was investigated to prove that all of this was fake. Jesus H. Christ. In comparison to Human Centipede 2, this movie is much worse. Why you ask? Because this happens on a much more realistic level. I can believe that this kind of shit goes on in Eastern European countries. And the drug induced behavior is totally believable.
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| This guy is a villain! |
Vukmir is the kind of villain that scares me the most because he can easily exist. That fucks me up so much. Martin is a Villian who COULD exist, but if he ever tried to hit me with a crow bar I would crack him in his fat head. Vukmir uses psychedelic drugs and has goons... he is someone to be afraid of. A Serbian Film is the kind of movie that probably leads to you landing on some kind of watch list with the FBI. Even though it was rough, I do recommend it to my fellow sickies out there.
A Serbian Film:
As a movie 8/10 (good plot and brutally realistic).
As a depraved classic: 100/10 (untoppable... barring a full on snuff film!)
Hands down, Serbian Film is way worse the Human Centipede 2. Both are sick, but this one is really bad. Happy viewing gang. Please leave some comments below!!!
