An Argument of Depravity Pt. 1: The Human Centipede 2 Vs. A Serbian Film

Yesterday I decided to push my already twisted perspective on what is to terrible to watch for normal people to an all time new low, even for me. You see, lets just say that I have a history of watching/exposing others to seriously demented movies. You want examples... OK. I'm the guy who was 7 years old and renting EVERY SINGLE HORROR title in the mom & pop video shop on 110 st & Liberty Avenue because the teens who worked there would rent anything to anybody as long as there were no adults around. I'm also the guy who took his very normal girlfriend on a date to see a midnight screening of 'Cannibal Holocaust',which resulted in her crying in the car and almost breaking up with me. I'm even the guy had his 2 year old son in a highchair watching rare Fulci & Argento DVD's because I figured he wouldn't remember them (he does... and now he is a horror fanatic like I was at his age). I am a deviant when it comes to watching films. Yet when I sat down yesterday for a double feature of The Human Centipede 2 & A Serbian Film, I had no way to take into account for what was about to happen to me. Let's just say I am changed... changed forever. And not in a good way... not at all.

Click after the jump to read more (spoilers & depravity ahead)...

Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch!!!

Since I was going to be home and the Twitterverse/Facebook world was buzzing about Human Centipede 2 being on Video On Demand, I figured I would give it a shot. Once I saw that it was available on IFC On Demand, I made it happen... but first I fried up a lovely turkey & cheddar cheese omelet. As I sat down and started the film, I realized that I had clearly made a mistake. Scenes from the 1st Centipede jumped across the screen, and I felt my stomach turning as I caught my first glimpse of Martin (the new bad guy). I even tweeted the following:

"About to watch Human Centipede 2 on #VOD. Love my girl @ashlynnyennie I know this is gonna be a tough 1right after breakfast! #asstomouthFTW"

I knew my instincts were right when the action began, and from the very beginning Martin does not disappoint. This maniac hits people in the head with crow bars, shoots a few folks in the kneecaps (just to disable them, not to kill them), and duct tapes the shit out of them in preparation for his attempt at a real life Human Centipede. Yup, in this film (H.C.2) Martin exists in our world, and he has been driven crazy trying replicate the experiment the good Doctor executed in Human Centipede 1. He works in some dank underground garage which provides him with countless people no one will miss as he attempts to expand the Centipede from 3 people to 12. Good Fucking God.

Hot, no???

Director Tom Six uses black and white for most of the movie, and I have to say it makes everything even more fucked up. Creepy ass martin walks around in his undies with his over-sized belly sticking out and his lunatic mother nagging the shit out of him. He is stockpiling bodies for the experiment left and right... and then he has the best idea yet: He is going to invite the original actor & actresses from  Centipede 1 (Ashlynn Yennie, Ashley Williams, and Akihiro Kitamura) to his hometown under the guise of a  false audition with Quentin Tarantino so that he can include them in his 12 person Centipede!!! What a great fucking idea... wow, mad points to Tom Six! This is a great way to get the old gang back, because even though their CHARACTERS died in H.C. 1, they are alive in the real world, right? All in all, very meta...

So I am not going to get into full on specifics on each kidnapping/handicapping Martin gets into, but lets just say they are all very brutal and not very hygienic. Two scenes stick out to me the most. One involved a black couple with a baby... and that one even freaked me out. I even tweeted this afterward:

I don't know how this black 2 year old baby is going to factor into The Human Centipede 2, but I must admit that I am intrigued. #MartinFTW

Lets just say it was bad. Thats that. Then there was the scene when Martin finally got tired of his mom's shit. First he lets his pet centipede (which is gigantic and gross as fuck) take a bite out of her face, then he caves in her skull with his trusty crow bar.

Disgusting... and well played!

All the way through... to the point where you can see out the back. Awesome. He then goads his Nazi skinhead neighbor down into the house and completes the hometown sweep by kneecapping him with a bullet and tying him up. A truly excellent scene, and so gross that I nearly vomited at one point. This is how you do torture flicks. Take notice...

The lovely Ashlynn Yennie. When she is not forced ass to mouth with her co-stars she cleans up nice!

Out of the original three, only the lovely Ashlynn Yennie shows for her proposed audition with Maestro Tarantino. She is psyched, but when Martin escorts her to the warehouse, turns on the lights and reveals the tied up victims... well, lets just say her attitude changes a bit. Martin cracks her one with the crow bar (this gets a bit repetitive throughout the movie, and Martin looks ridiculous doing it.) Guess who is going to be the head of the ass to mouth choo-choo train? Six must really like Yennie, because she gets an upgrade from the back of the bus to the front this time around. No shit shakes for her, thank you very much. But I digress....

Martin takes this guys plan...

... and adds a bit of his own artwork to the gig...

... and then implements these tools to do the job!

Martin begins his archaic attempt at duplicating Herr Doctor's insane experiment, and this begins with him knocking out every bodies teeth with a hammer and disconnecting their patella tendons so as they can't escape. These acts of "surgery" by Martin are extremely brutal to watch and I found myself flinching constantly.

Even when you look away, you can't escape the cruching sound each blow makes...

It was paining me to watch this. So I checked in on my Twitter. imagine my surprise when I saw this tweet from Ashlynn Yennie:

@CCD_blog ohhhh! Have fun with that.... Eeek 

Yeah buddy!!! The head of the Centipede, Ashlynn Yennie herself, tweeted me back. Ashlynn, you are down 4 life over here at CCD!!! God I love the life of a low level blogger such as myself... anyways,while I am high on life because someone as lovely as Ashlynn herself decided to answer me back on Twitter, Martin is getting the gang together... but unlike the Doctor's sanitary lab that showed no blood and shit, Martin's place of work is covered in blood, feces and unsanitary stuff. It is fucking disgusting. Then the pregnant broad Martin didn't apply to the chain-o-humans gets up and runs out... yeah, I just typed that. He gives chase, she gets in a car, she births a baby... yup, I just typed that as well.

Yup, I just had a baby while on the run from Martin...

Then she jams on the accelerator to escape... crushing said newborns skull in the process. Remember when I said this was one of the worse movies I ever fucking seen? yup, this was the exact moment that this thought occurred to me. Baby head crushed by his birth mother stepping on an accelerator? Yup, Tom Six is officially the worse human being on the planet Earth...

Yennie at the front of the shit-train

I'm not gonna ruin the final climax of the movie, but all I will say is that it gets even sicker. Yup, sicker the baby death by gas pedal. The aforementioned Ms. Yennie gets her shot at redemption, there is some barbed wire rape play, a funnel filled with laxative, the 'Pede splits into two, we get another appearance of Martin's pet gargantuan real life centipede... all in all, it ends just as sick as it had been. I barely held down my omelet.

Did you like my movie... see you in your dreams!!!

It was official... Human Centipede 2 was the sickest, most revolting movie I had ever fucking seen. Shit, it was the sickest thing I had ever even heard of. When the word about the shit that goes on in this movie starts to spread around, I am sure that I will hear many a story about people having a "2 girls - 1 cup" type reactions to the mayhem. Martin may be one of the most revolting leads in the history of horror films... and I am sure I will be seeing his fat, naked belly in my fucking nightmares for years to come. The images in this sick as fuck film would be etched in my head forever... surely nothing was going to top this one on the gross-out scale for a long fucking time.

My ratings for The Human Centipede 2: As a regular movie 5/10... as a sick gross-out piece of cinematic gold that should be watched as a badge of honor: 25/10


When I finished this movie, I tweeted the following:

No shower in the world can clean me after #HumanCentipede2 but I'm not even trying cause I have A Serbian Film up next. Torture Films FTW!!

I meant it. I felt unclean and unpure. So naturally I did what any other normal person would do: I put on what has been called the bleakest, dankest, most disturbing film ever recorded and distributed to the world. A Serbian Film is the stuff of legends... but would it be bad enough to knock off the current gross-out champ, Human Centipede 2 from my sickest movie ever list? Tune back in to CCD tomorrow for Pt. 2 of this article and find out!!!

Meet Milos... star of A Serbian Film and nightmares everywhere!

See You Manana!

Here'ssssss Martin!!! The Human Centipede 2 Gets A Proper Trailer, And It's A Doozy!!!

Take a look at the sick and perverse sequel to last years most shocking movie... and get to know Martin, the creepy ass star of Tom Six's newest ass to mouth opus. Video after the jump.




Check it out!!!!

While I am going to miss the good Doctor and the lovely ladies of Human Centipede 1, this crazy fucker Martin and the guy with the beard might just fill the gap for me. I can't wait to see this one next month!!!

Now That's What I Call A Movie Poster... Human Centipede 2 FTW!!!

Goodness gracious, the anticipation is building!!! The Human Centipede 2 is making it's US debut tonight at FantasticFest, so it is fitting that they released an official poster to go along with it. I am really digging the design of this poster and feel like it does wonders in setting the scene for what is sure to be a pretty sick movie. See the full size poster after the jump!

The bodies being arranged in the shape of a spinal column intrigues me... does this mean we will have bodies going East to West as well as North to South? Damn you Tom Six, you sick son of a bitch! This one will be hitting the theater circuit very soon, and I can't wait... what do you guys think? Tell me in the comment section below.

Meet Martin... Let The Ass To Mouth Surgery Begin NOW!!!

My day is complete. There is a trailer for the Human Centipede II.  Meet Martin...
***Check the trailer and more pics of this handsome bastard after the jump***

Am I totally sick for wanting to see this movie more then anything else this Fall? I truly loved the first film, and when I had the chance to meet the original three stars of the first film (Ashlynn Yennie, Ashley C Williams, and Akihiro Kitamura) at the 2010 Big Apple Comic Con and they were sooooo cool (Click Here to see that story). I am excited to see what Tom Six has in store... and this creepy Martin fucker is scaring the shit out of me more and more...

Fuck Censorship!!!! C'mon Britain, Your Better Then This...

I am a big fan of Empire Magazine, and since I can't always get it on the newsstand (I know, I should just subscribe) I often read it online. My buddy Jeff Bond sent me a really cool article that Empire just ran discussing the fact that Britain's movie rating body has ruled 'The Human Centipede II' as obscene, therefore making the movie illegal to posses & sell in the country in both theaters and on DVD. This is 2011, so you can imagine how shocked I am about something like this. Who the fuck do these people think they are???

Listen, I understand the need for a ratings system. I also understand that certain stuff shouldn't be shown to kids. But to ban something in it's entirety making it impossible to be seen by fans who are of age seems to be ridiculous. How can they do something like this? Slap an XXX rating on it, make it hard for theaters to want to show it since it will have lots of restrictions, do whatever you want... but ouright banning it? That's just medieval. Not to mention how much of a dick these guys looked like by HOW they announced it. Check this shit out.

Oooohhhh... thats how it works. Interesting.

In their statement about the ruling of The Human Centipede Pt II, these douche nuggets revealed a ton of spoilers about the upcoming horror flick to justify why they reached the decision to ban the film. The problem with that is that director Tom Six and the rest of the cast & crew has kept details about the upcoming sequel under tight wraps... until these assholes blabbed key plot points in their ruling statement. So not only did these guys make it impossible for people in Britain to see the film, but they also have ruined it by talking about what is in the film!!! Are you kidding me? What the fuck.

Tom Six & the new psycho, Boxhead

I won't publish any of the spoilers that the Board revealed about the film, but director Tom Six reached out to  Empire to offer a response to the ruling film body in Britain. Here it is:

“Thank you BBFC for putting spoilers of my movie on your website and thank you for banning my film in this exceptional way. Apparently I made an horrific horror-film, but shouldn't a good horror film be horrific? My dear people it is a f****cking MOVIE. It is all fictional. Not real. It is all make-belief. It is art. Give people their own choice to watch it or not. If people can't handle or like my movies they just don't watch them. If people like my movies they have to be able to see it any time, anywhere also in the UK.”

That is extremely well said. The board could have just said that their reasoning was based on sexually graphic & violent behavior in the film... they did not need to get into specifics. What a bunch of pompous dickheads. The best part is that by doing this, the Board has pretty much RAISED the awareness of the film and will probably encourage even more people to see it. That's the way it works. You take something away from people and they want it more. Didn't these guys ever see Footloose? I was a fan of the original, and I can't wait for the sequel. You can click here to read the whole Empire story online for more details. Are you going to check this movie out? What do you guys think about this whole controversy? Tell us in the comment section below!!!

Best Motivational Poster... Ever!!!