SNL Throwback of the Week #15 5/29/10

I am a huge Saturday Night Live fan. One of my earliest memories was of my parents watching SNL every Saturday while we were tucked in our bedrooms, and sometimes being allowed to watch for a bit. The show has gone through its ups and downs over its 35 year run, but the fact that it is still on the air after 35 years is a testament to the staying power of the show. Lorne Michaels is a genius at finding and developing young, comedic talent. SNL has produced a bevy of stars over the years, from Eddie Murphy to Tina Fey. The show is doing well again thanks to Ms. Fey and the rest of the team, but I love watching clips from the old shows. Every Saturday I will give you guys one of my favorites. This weeks clip features Natalie Portaman. There really is no way to describe the rapping tirade that she launches into when interviewed by Chris Parnell, and she is joined at the end of the rap by Andy Samberg. This is amazing... you must hear the original, unedited version which appeared on The Lonely Island's studio album. You can hear that version here. Enjoy!!!!!

"Artin it Up" with Tommy Lombardozzi - Strange Doodles

Hello, folks!


Every week I have been trying to do some brand new artwork for C.C.D. I look forward to the challenge of having to come up with new stuff on a weekly basis; stuff that I hope is interesting.

This weekly forum was/is a way for me to share with you readers (all six of you!) what goes into making a particular piece of art; what mediums I use, what inspired it, what its genesis was, etc. Some stuff I have planned out beforehand, some not so much. Some articles and the accompanying art (or vice versa) I come up with the night before I send ‘em to Mike D.!

And sometimes, I just got nothin’.

Like this week. I had a busy week, and really couldn’t think of anything to do! I sat at my kitchen table with my supplies surrounding me, and could NOT think of a theme! I drew some weird things, some visual non-sequitors, in hopes that I’d hit on something. But… nope. A blank. No theme presented itself to me for this week’s “Artin’ It Up”.

Then, as I sat there and looked at these strange doodles and weird drawings I did over the course of a few days, it came to me. THESE would be my submissions for the week! I thought it might be interesting to show you what I doodle in hopes to hit on something I’d like to explore further as far as making a piece of art. Some of this stuff is fun and weird, and I think you will enjoy, So, I am presenting to you…

…STRANGE DOODLES!

Drawing #1: “THE BIRD”

I like to draw sometimes in the Picasso-esque cube style. I put one of these drawings up the other day in my Facebook art folder (“The Bitch”). This was a continuation of that style. Just a line drawings of a guy drinkin’ a beer and flippin’ you THE BIRD.

Drawing #2: “A TURTLE IN CLOTHES”

The title explains it all. I did this last month, just sitting around having some doodle fun. It is pen and colored pencil. Cool lil’ dude.

Drawing #3: “FRO”

I just started drawing a face, then extending the hair. I planned on getting kind of elaborate with this, but then got lazy. It is marker, colored pencil, pencil, and a bit of ink. Maybe I’ll revisit this idea in the future.

Drawing #4: “THINGY”

I did this doodle back in the summer, when I had a job, in my office. I thought he was a cool lookin’ little creature. It was initially in pencil on a yellow Post-It, but the scanner we had didn’t scan in color so it came out looking like this, and I think it looks pretty cool. I like drawing weird little creatures. And yes, I am aware that most of you will say it looks like a cock. You got cock on the brain! This is just a weird little creature I call Thingy! Very innocent.

Drawing #5 “FROGMANFROG”

This is my idea of a bizarre amalgamation of a frog and a man. Science gone terribly wrong! I like the idea, though I executed in a simple style. Again, I may go back to this idea one day. It’s pen marker and digital colors.

Drawing #6: “YELLOW FACE”

Just another one of those Picasso-style things. Colored in pencil, with some marker.

Drawing #7: “HANDHEAD”

This is one I will DEFINITELY be recreating. What you’re seeing is the initial drawing, the sketch idea, for what will be a future drawing. I like this stuff that’s sorta creepy, but also childish. It’s HANDHEAD! Your pal! This is done with pen marker using grey marker highlights.

Drawing #8: “TVface”

Yeah, I have no idea either. It’s done in pen marker, markers, and colored pencils.

Drawing #9: “WEIRD WORLD”

Again, I have no idea. I like to combine weird imagery sometimes… usually in a chaotic, close-quarters setting. A “Frankenstein’s Monster” of visual creepiness! I have no idea what this is or what prompted me to draw it aside from the fact that drawing this weird shit is fun! It’s pen marker and colored pencils, with a little marker thrown in.

Drawing #10: “WEREWOLF WITHOUT A CLUE”

 

This is my favorite of the bunch. I will definitely be taking this idea to further heights, as the kids say! It’s good fun! I like drawing monsters. Simple! The idea was for this to mimic the poster of that famous James Dean movie… but I didn’t actually look at the poster when I doodles this. (I was too lazy to get up and go to the computer to actually do that research! Ha.) When I revisit this, I will. Also, I titled it wrong. It should have been “Werewolf Without A Cause”, like the movie is titled… but I goofed up and wrote “Werewolf Without A Clue” on the drawing, like in the Tom Petty song ‘Into The Great Wide Open”! I could have erased it in Photoshop, but I thought it was funny, so, that’s the title now and next time I draw it! As Bob Ross would say, it’s a happy little mistake. I think this would make a cool t-shirt design! Hmmm… It’s pen marker with grey marker highlights (and a “drop” of colored pencil. Heh).

Well, that’s it for now, C.C.Degenerates! OH! And speaking of Tom Petty… I hope to see you all (yes, all six of you) at the Wicked Monk in Bay Ridge this Sunday (Memorial Day Eve, May 30th) for my TP cover set. 10pm! If not, F you, and have a nice Memorial Day Weekend anyway. Douche.

Until next week…… Smile Up!
~TL

PS. As always, tell your friends about this Blog!!!

Reality Check #6 by Kate Jones: The End Of The Spring TV Season

Well, the end of the Spring television season is upon us, so that means we have WINNERS all over the place… Let’s talk about who won some of our favorite reality shows!


The Amazing Race

Congratulations to Daniel & Jordan, the gay brothers! I don’t think anyone really expected them to win this, being against the cowboys and all, but they really turned it up in the final leg (in San Francisco). The cowboys finished second and the dating models finished third. At the very end there was some obvious bitterness by Carol and Brandy, the mean, dating lesbians. They were still insisting that the Cowboys should have been U-turned instead of them, which is a little stupid, considering the Cowboys didn’t win! Shut up and be gracious in defeat, mean ladies!!!! Congrats to Dan and Jordan. These guys were over-the-top ecstatic over winning this race!

America’s Next Top Model

Congratulations to Krista, who won in the finale over Raina. Both girls were great, but it came down to who had the better walk, I guess. I honestly thought that Raina had the better pictures, but I am not the expert! So, another year, and another pick of mine gets to finals and loses!

PS- Tyra, I hate you and your smiling face!

Dancing With the Stars

I don’t watch this much…if ever… but Nicole, the Pussycat Doll, won. Are you surprised? Yeah, me neither.

American Idol

The right two went to the finale, but the wrong person one. I am sorry. Lee DeWyze is wonderful, but Crystal Bowersox is better. But since I didn’t vote, I have no right to complain. Keep that in mind when the next election cycles come up for your government officials!

Celebrity Apprentice

Bret Michaels wins!!! YAYY! The only person that I wanted to win a reality show that actually won! For a reality maven, I really had a shitty record this season! Anyway, he beat Holly Robinson-Peete who did an amazing job for her HollyRod Foundation for Autistic Kids (Bret’s money went to Diabetes research). I highly recommend giving to either one of these amazing charities, or you can donate to the Autism Walk that I am doing on June 13 at the South Street Seaport!

The Biggest Loser

I love the Biggest Loser finale! Seeing these people love almost 50% of their bodyweight is a totally amazing thing! Congratulations to Mike, for winning the money and the title of Biggest Loser, but also, great job Ashley and Daris for making it that far and looking as AMAZING as you did. Also, congratulations to all the people who lost so much weight at home and to Koli who won the At Home prize.

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains

Well, just as expected, Russell and Parvati went to the finals but Russell made the serious mistake of bringing someone who he didn’t think was a threat to him in Sandra Diaz-Twine. He didn’t realize some of the moves Sandra was making and perceived her lack of physicality as total weakness. She had an immunity idol, she tried play after play to get Russell out and she made the move after Rob was eliminated to get rid of Coach. That being said, I am not sure that Sandra was the most deserving. I think Parvati is awesome. Dangerous, yes. Sneaky, yes. But awesome, nonetheless. Russell won the at home prize for the second time and was bitching about how America should have a vote in who wins Survivor… pure idiocy coming from the troll-like sore loser. If you don’t like the rules, don’t play the game!!!! Either way, it was the BEST season of Survivor that I can remember watching in full. Brilliance!!

Coming Up This Summer

I have promised Jeff Bond that I would watch Jerseylicious. I have been avoiding this, but am going to start sometime this week. You will be exposed to the recaps, and I’m sorry in Advance.

BIG BROTHER!!!!!! Until I am a teacher, this will remain to be the best thing about my summer! This show gets me going even more then Survivor. It starts in the beginning of July and is on 3 days a week! I can’t wait for another summer of backstabbing and showmancing and slop and silly challenges and twists! I am bursting with excitement, people!

I will also be watching Hell’s Kitchen. I usually tend to avoid The Bachelorette, America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance and Last Comic Standing, but if you would like me to take a look at something, please let me know!

Rest in Peace:

I just want to take a minute and say goodbye to some of the shows that I watch that have been cancelled: Flash Forward, Heroes, Cold Case, Law and Order, and Mercy.

I think that all of these shows had a great premise. Heroes just faded out at the end- a victim of bad writing. Flash Forward just couldn’t get the ratings, even though it had a very good premise! Cold Case was a great crime show, but just wasn’t as good as the others in its genre and the same goes for Mercy (which had a great cliff hanger to end the season that I unfortunately will never see resolved) Its been 20 seasons for Law and Order, tying the record that Bonanza set for longest running TV drama. It may get picked up by another network like TNT just to allow it to break the record.

Note: Did anyone see Jimmy Kimmell after the LOST finale? I guess I wasn’t the only person imagining a LOST/Survivor merger!

OHC of the Day: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

OHC stands for Obscure Hot Chick of the day... just another beautiful actress that you might or might not know of yet... but we are sure you will soon. You might know her as the bad guy in disguise from the teen superhero movie Sky High, or as the cheerleader in the yellow mustang in Tarantino's Death Proof, or maybe its her turn as Bruce Willis's college age daughter in Live Free or Die Hard... not sure where you know her from, but you should take notice now. She is HOT, and she is about to blow up. This summer she comes to the screen as the evil Ramona Flowers, the girl Michael Cera pines to get back in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Plus, she iis starring in the prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing and she is being considered for the live action role of Wonder Woman... do you need any other reasons??? Enjoy the pics!!!

Throwback Thursday #16 5/27/2010

Throwback Thursday is my chance to bring you guys 4 musical picks in 4 categories of music that I love and remind me of back in the day... they may not be the greatest songs ever, but they hold a special place in my heart. Hope you enjoy!!!

Hip Hop- Del the Funky Homosapien - MistaDobalina



R&B- New Edition - A Little Bit Of Love



80's Rock- Skid Row - 18 and Life



Reggae - Harry Toddler - Dance The Angel

Who The Fuck Is Jet Bike Steve?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Super Bowl + Snow = Priceless

This could be the scene in Feb. 2014... or it could be worse when the Super Bowl makes its FIRST appearance in NY. The NFL announced that the new stadium of the NY Giants and Jets beat out the city of Tampa Bay, Florida for the big game in 2014. While it is not such a surprise that the NFL would want to have the biggest game of the year in the NYC area, it does go against the NFL's policy of having the Super Bowl in a warm weather environment. The game was held in Detroit a few years back, but that was in a dome. What would happen if NY should get pelted with a snow storm? I'll tell you what would happen... it would be freaking awesome!!! I hope it snows 25 inches that week. Sure, that will pretty much guarantee that the NFL will never try a cold weather/open air Big Game ever again, but the fact that we get a chance at a Blizzard Bowl would be worth it!!!

4 Visual Reasons To Be Hyped For True Blood Season 3

True Blood on HBO is a summer fave over here at CCD, and the show looks to be getting even crazier in the upcoming season. I came across these great publicity posters the other day and wanted to share them with you. True Blood may be about vampires, but deep down inside the show is really about regular people learning to deal with different types of craetures in their real lives... most notably creatures that want to drain you of your blood and eat you. Anyway, here are the Season 3 Promo Posters. Look for the season premiere on June 13th over at HBO.

Seriously.... Seriously???

I have always been a sucker for medical/doctor based shows on TV. ER was one of my faves, and because it was on for about 67 years, was always their to fill my doctor drama needs. When Grey's Anatomy first started, I could not get into it. I heard everybody raving about how witty and funny it was, and I saw that there were a boatload of hot actress, most notably a now mature (and I mean huge boobed) post Roswell  Kathryn Hiegl on the cast. But over the last Christmas break, my girlfriend got me to sit down and watch the 1st season with her as it began replaying on Lifetime. Boy am I glad I did. The show is phenomenal, and I mean that in so many ways. First, the writing is great. The characters are all funny in their crazy tendencies and how they interact. Secondly, its basically high school with scalpels. Because the doctors work so hard to be great at their job that lack all common sense and social skills.... which usually leads them to sleeping with each other. And last but not least, at any given time on the show there has been numerous hotties playing characters (I love u Lexi Grey!!!). This following clip is a Youtube collabo of one of the expressions that gets used on the show a bunch: "Seriously?" It is amazing how many times it gets said, but whenever somebody says it, it usually is funny. Use your Netflix to get caught up on this medical masterpiece over the summer vacation... seriously!!!

   

A Moment Of Silence....

... for the greatest show in the history of Television. EVER...EVER!!! Thanks JJ, Carlton Cuse, and Damon Lindelof for 6 great years. I may not love it all and the questions sure are plentiful, but all in all, you guys are the best to have ever done it!!! This is a fitting way to not only wrap the show, but also a very successful Lost Week here at CCD. I think these pictures do it all justice. Enjoy!!!

Lost: Missing Pieces #1-6

Now I know that Lost has become a show that is all about questions... but like most people out there I WANT ANSWERS!!! A few years back, There was a writers strike that effected all te shows on TV. When that happened, many shows had to change/edit storylines that were going on because of shooting constraints. On Lost, a bunch of scenes were shot but could not be used for various reasons. So instead of wasting them Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof decided to take 13 of them and call them "Missing Pieces". They were post on ABC.com and . They are clips that still fit into the story and are considered canon. Maybe they will shead some light on your questions. Enjoy!
Missing Pieces Part 1- The Watch



Missing Pieces Part 2- The Adventures of Hurley



Missing Pieces Part 3- King of the Castle



Missing Pieces Part 4- The Deal



Missing Pieces Part 5- Operation Sleeper



Missing Pieces Part 6- Room 23

Lost: Missing Pieces #7-13

Now I know that Lost has become a show that is all about questions... but like most people out there I WANT ANSWERS!!! A few years back, There was a writers strike that effected all te shows on TV. When that happened, many shows had to change/edit storylines that were going on because of shooting constraints. On Lost, a bunch of scenes were shot but could not be used for various reasons. So instead of wasting them Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof decided to take 13 of them and call them "Missing Pieces". They were post on ABC.com and . They are clips that still fit into the story and are considered canon. Maybe they will shead some light on your questions. Here are episodes 7-13. Enjoy!

Missing Pieces Part 7- Artz and Craftz

Missing Pieces Part 8- Buried Secrets

Missing Pieces Part 9- Tropical Depression

Missing Pieces Part 10- Jack, Meet Ethan... Ethan, Jack

Missing Pieces Part 11- Jin's Tantrum

 

Missing Pieces Part 12- The Envelope

Missng Pieces Part 13- It Begin's

Hopefully, this sheads some light on some questions.... nah, but they were kinda cool, right? Enjoy the finale tonight at 7:30 pm.... Lost!!!!

Lost Slapdown Part 11-16

Here are the final 6 parts... I hope you guys enjoy!!!

Lost Slapdown Episode #11



Lost Slapdown Episode #12



Lost Slapdown Episode #13



Lost Slapdown Episode #14 (My Fave)



Lost Slapdown Episode #15



Lost Slapdown Episode #16

LOST Recap Season 6 Episode 16 'What They Died For'

I've been writing LOST episode recap blogs on my own for years now. Posting them everywhere from my large email friend-base to Myspace, to Lost board websites, to Facebook, to the blog site's of other friendly 'Losties'. I am honored to be posting the LAST TWO recaps EXCLUSIVELY for Cultural Compulsive Disorder!!! Join me here each week for my futile Lost TV show ramblings, but tune in daily, for an endless array of movie, TV, music, comic book, fashion, and general geekdom that Mr. Mike D and his staff provides. Take a moment right now to make C.C.D one of your favorites, and please become a follower of the blog. (Just click follow over on the right hand side, sign in using one of the accounts provided Google, Aol IM, Yahoo, etc and watch your picture pop up.) Comments are always appreciated.
Although this is one of my last recaps. I will be cleaning floors, and doing laundry here at the C-C-D compound until I am called upon to navigate the waters of the "Grand LOST Rewatch' that will be upon as beginning in June!


The 'penultimate' episode (as Mr. Mike D. might hate to hear me refer to it as. Sorry, boss it's the next to last!) Was a real fun romp coming off the heels of the storybook fairytale that was last week's controversial 'Across the Sea'. I'll save you guys the annoyance of hearing how i think this was a fantabulous set up to what's sure to be an emotional series ending. Oops, too late. I give you....LOST recap:

In Universe-X, the 'Flash Sideways' timeline, Jack-X awakens from sleeping at home in his bed. He heads to the bathroom and checks himself out in the MIRROR to reveal a bloody wound on his neck...again. He begins to wipe it and is interrupted by his son David, whom only exists in this timeline. David tells him he's made breakfast, to which Jack-X lovingly informs him that pouring some 'Super Bran' cereal into a bowl is technically NOT making breakfast. They laugh and David asks if his dad is still coming to his music CONCERT that night. Jack-X is excited about it but asks if his mother will be there as well. David confirms that she will be and makes him promise that he won't get all 'weird' with her there. (I'm sure I'm going to get a little 'weird' when I finally have it confirmed who David's mom, Jack-X's EX-wife is in the this timeline... Will you? Will you get 'weird'?) Just than, a VERY pregnant Claire-X stumbles out from the bedroom. (I gotta admit, there was a moment that I said to myself "Ewww this scene is gross...why is Claire in the bedroom with Jack? Not only is she his half sister, but she's pregnant!" Hey I was already two drinks in, sue me) I soon realized that Jack-X had told his half sister that she could stay at his place while she was in town because, after all, they're family. Claire-X greets the two other Shepherds and mentions how crazy the bay-bee kicks at night. The phone rings and it's an employee of Oceanic airlines who informs Jack-X that his missing 'cargo' has been found (Christian-X's body) and that it will be arriving in L.A. later on that day. The camera changes to show that the person on the other end of the phone call is not, in fact an Oceanic employee but is the one and only Desmond Hume!

In the next scene Desmond who appears to have full conscious control over his personas in either universes for a second, time is shown waiting outside of the school where John Locke-X, Benjamin Linus-X and an assorted cast of familiar faces teach and learn. John Locke-X wheels himself out into the street again as student's welcome him back after a previous episode in which Desmond ran him over causing some major spinal injuries which were repaired successfully by Jack-X. It's surely a suspenseful moment for all of us as Desmond starts up his car and we think maybe he's going for hit and run round 2. "Don't you dare," Benjamin Linus-X yells throwing himself in front of Desmond's car. He alerts onlookers that Desmond is back, the man who ran over Mr. Locke-X. Desmond steps out of the car and approaches Ben-X. "I won't let you hurt Mr. Locke again," Ben-X whimpers. Desmond assures him that he's not there to hurt John-X, he's there to help him LET GO. Ben-X pleads for him to identify himself. Desmond decides that rather than tell Ben-X who he is, he will show him and begins to pound on him, punching him and banging his rag doll-like physique into the hood of his car. The barrage seems to have an enlightening affect akin to Hurley-X kissing Libby-X and flashing through the thoughts of his Universe 1.0 self. This time, Ben-X's immediate beating is flashing him to the abuse Desmond dished out on him last season on the pier after Ben tried to kill Penny off island in retaliation for Widmore having Ben's daughter, Alex, killed. Desmond, satisfied that he had made some progress, gets back inside his car and speeds off. 

Ben-X now finds himself in the school nurses office where he is getting treated for his wounds. He stares at himself in the MIRROR and for a moment he looks a lot like the vengeful Ben Linus we've grown to love and hate. Locke-X checks in on his savior's recovery and is shaken to find out from him that the man that beat Ben-X was the same man who ran John-X down in a previous episode. John-X immediately dials the L.A.P.D to which Ben-X suggests he stop. "While he was beating me, I think i saw something," Ben-X divulges. He tells John-X about what the man had told him about not being there to hurt John-X but wanting to help him 'let go'. "Does that mean anything to you," Ben-X inquires, as John Locke-X lowers the cell phone and stares blindly, searching for the enlightenment in all this.

The officer on the other end of the phone call with Locke-X is annoyed to find out there is no response from the other end of the line, as the camera has now switched over to the police precinct where Desmond is now pacing the room looking for a detective. The camera pans to Detective Miles Straume-X who his getting dressed up. He reminds his partner, James Ford-X, that it is for a BENEFIT CONCERT where he is meeting with his father Pierre Chang-X who works in a nearby museum in this universe. "You could still be my date if you change your mind," Miles-X informs him. "That red-headed chick gonna be there," Ford-X quizzes him knowingly. Miles-X confirms that, yes, Charlotte (Lewis-X) will be there. She works at the museum a long side Miles-X's dad and you'll remember was on the receiving end of James Ford-X's blind date temper....a blind date set by Miles and his father. "Pass," Ford-X declines. Desmond interrupts the two detectives and turns himself over to them for both the hit and run and the beating at 'Washington Tustin' high school earlier that day. Ford-X escorts Desmond to the holding cell and thanks him, sarcastically, for making it easy on the taxpayers by turning himself in. The holding  cell, of course, also houses both Sayid Jarrah-X and Kate Austin-X, arrested for numerous crimes. "Good morning," Desmond greets Sayid-X nonreciprocatingly. "...and how are you today," Desmond inquires of Kate-X. "TERRIFIC," Kate-X mutters in a nice wink to our fallen pilot Frank Lapidus who used that lined ad nauseum.

Ben-X leaves the school at the end of the school day. Battered and bruised with his arm in a sling (in an identical fashion to the way he boarded the Ajira flight after his beating at the hands of Desmond in Universe 1.0) He fumbles for his keys and is greeted by his star pupil, Alex Rousseau-X who's is aghast at the sight of her poor beaten teacher and mentor. "Why would someone try and hurt you," she begs him, "You're the nicest guy ever." (Ha ha ha great! Between her 'valley girl' aesthetic and his 'nicest guy ever' routine, I am LOVING this Flash Sideways, I'll tellya) She jokingly asserts that he looks like Napoleon with his hand in the sling and insists that her mom drive him home...she's right here. Danielle Rousseau-X (YAY!) steps out of the nearby car and seconds the notion that he allow them to give him a lift. "After everything you've done for my daughter a ride is the least we can do," She insists. (Had this still been Universe 1.0, 'everything you've done for my daughter' would have meant terrorizing her mother soon after birth, abducting her as a new born baby, raising her on lies and deceit and than being partially responsible for her death. My how the times have changed) Alex-X suggests that he, not only accept the ride but, also a dinner invitation. "It's 'Coq Au Vin night'," Alex-X announces (...and my close captioning confirms. a quick Google informs me that it's a French chicken dish...move along...nothing to see here) At the home of the gals, we find that Ben-X must have accepted both invitations because he's there as well helping to clean up dishes with his one good hand as Alex-X works on her homework. "It's nice to cook for someone other than Alex for a change," Danielle-X tells him. She informs him that her daughter's father died when she was only two and that it is probably why Alex-X has grown so attached to Ben-X. "You're the closest to a father she's ever had," Danielle-X asserts as Ben-X visibly chokes up. He blames the onions for his eyes tearing up as he looks on at Alex-X his adoptive daughter in another life. "I'll put less onions in next time," Danielle kids him hinting at what might be the beginning of a pretty OK relationship. (I for one like this scenario and am growing very fond of these new wacky sideways story lines)

John Locke-X wheels himself into Dr. Shepherd-X's office where the good doctor sits at his desk. "You got a minute," Locke-X inquires, pushing himself further into the room. Jack-X greets his patient and ushers him in. We get a glimpse of a happy photo of three generations of Shepherd men: Christian, his son Jack, and Jack's son David. John Locke-X takes notice as well. "It's last Thanksgiving," Jack-X informs him. "He looks just like you," Locke-X offers. "Don't tell him that," Jack-X jokes in typical proud papa banter. John-X gets right to the point. He points out that they were both on the same flight from Sydney where he gave him his business card. "I threw it out...no offense," Locke-X apologizes. "None taken," Jack-X assures him waiting for the point. John-X proceeds to remind him about being hit by a car and getting Jack-X as a doctor with all the other surgeons in L.A. He saves his life in surgery and offers to fix his paralysis when he doesn't want to be fixed. Than the man that ran him over appears at the school again and beats up a colleague of his. "He says that he wasn't there to hurt me, he was there to help me LET GO," John-X informs him, "...which is the exact same thing that you said to me the last time I saw you," he continues. Jack-X cuts him off, asserting that if he's suggesting he had something to do with the suspect than he's wrong. "No, maybe this is happening for a reason. Maybe you're SUPPOSED TO fix me," Locke-X explains. Jack-X assures him that he does want to help fix him but that he may be confusing coincidence and fate. (I think Jack-X may need a little bit more of a nudge than just some strange unprovocated neck bleeding.) "You can call it what you want," John-X insists, "but I'm here and I think I'm ready to get outta this chair!" (YEAH, SON!)

Detective Ford-X heads into the holding area and informs our three familiar detainees that they are all being shipped to county. He unlocks their cells as an officer rounds them up. He gets to Miss Austin-X's cell and she takes the opportunity to plead her innocence and suggests that he find a way to let her go. "I'm a cop," Ford-X insists....not so insistingly as if he can probably be persuaded given the right situation. "You don't LOOK like a cop to me," Kate-X offers as she's hauled away. 

In the back of the police transport Desmond announces that he thinks it's time they leave. "I'm sorry... who are you," Kate-X wonders. "He's a crazy person who turned himself in," Sayid-X answers for him. Desmond informs them that he ran over a man in a wheelchair, His statement convincing the other two that he may, indeed, be crazy. Desmond disregards the accusation and wonders if they don't want to get out of there. Kate suggests he come up with a better plan because the police driver probably just won't pull over and let them out. "The driver already knows where to stop," Desmond informs them. (Oh....this is getting goOOOod!) Desmond agrees to help them get out of this situation but first they'll have to give him their trust and the assurance that they will do him one more favor when this begins to go down. Sayid-X and Kate-X agree providing each other with looks as if they can't possibly have anything to lose promising a crazy man who'll have no way of following through on his part of the bargain. Just than the truck stops and that back door opens to reveal our favorite dirty,rogue cop...Officer Ana Lucia-X! (F*ckin' great!) "Where's your friend with the money," she asks Desmond, "Otherwise I'm gonna have to say I shot all of you trying to escape," she threatens in a way only Ana Lucia could threaten. Desmond assures her the money man will be there as they each hop out of the truck and are uncuffed by our officer. The Money man barrels through in a grand yellow Hum-V...Hurley 'Hugo' Reyes The First, who has since 'become one' with his other-universe self with Libby-X acting as his 'constant'. "You didn't tell me Ana Lucia was gonna be here," Hurley asks of Desmond. "Do I know you....tubby," Ana Lucia-X demands suspiciously. Hurley stutters at the thought that he may have of revealed too much as he hands her the $125k. "Nice NOT knowing you, than," Ana Lucia-X finishes. Hurley wonders why she won't be joining them. "No, she's not READY yet," Desmond says slyly. (This whole moment is reminding me of any great episode of 'The A-Team) Hurley informs the crew that he brought them his Camaro which comes into view right next to the police transport. "The keys are under the floor mat and everything else you need is in the trunk," Hurley fills Desmond in. Kate-X and Sayid-X stand in disbelief. Sayid-X is to go with Hurley in the Hummer and Kate-X with Desmond in the Camaro. "What do you mean I'm with you," Kate-X shakes off. "We..." Desmond starts, opening the trunk to reveal a gown neatly draped on a clothes hanger, "...are going to a CONCERT!" (I love it when a plan comes together!)

Where/When are we? We're now on the island, in the original timeline. In a moment that is very reminiscent of a moment in season one, where Kate and Jack first got to know a little bit about each other while she sewed up his wound for him, Jack now sews up Kate's shoulder wound. A wound she received after being shot at by Widmore's foot soldiers at the attack on the submarine. Jack informs her that the bullet went through so it just needs to be sewn up to avoid 'infection'. Kate takes the pain like a brave little soldier, mostly because she is preoccupied by the events of the previous evening. She reflects upon the deaths of Sun and Jin and how they had a young daughter, Ji Yeon, that Jin never had the chance to even meet. "Locke did this to them," she insists angrily, "we have to kill him," she adds. Jack nods knowingly in agreement.
At the shoreline, a few paces away, Sawyer reflects on the events as well. He's mesmerized by all the debris that washes up on shore from the submarine explosion. Crates and unused life vests. Kate, all sewn up, comes to his side and throws her arm around his waist in attempt to console him. They are soon flanked by a pensive Hurley and Jack. I give you...our remaining 'candidates'. Jack interrupts the pity party to get them moving. "Before Sayid died, he said that Desmond was in a well," he begins, "If Locke wants Desmond alive than we're gonna need him." (There's a slight 'Empire Strikes Back' final scene feeling here in which all the good guys have been devastated by the forces of evil as they look off into space. It reminds me of the last time I felt this way about LOST, at the end of the season two finale when the good guys all lost. Michael had handed some of his fellow passengers over to the 'Others' in return for safe passage off the island. I was shocked when looking back over that episode that the four passengers handed over to the 'Others' whose names all appeared on the first 'list' we were privy to were....Wait for it Mutha Fucka......the exact same four that stand before you today. Surely a pleasant reminder that things have been a lot more planned that you gave the creators credit for. Yes YOU!)


Ben, Miles and Richard take Ben's shortcut to the barracks on a quest to secure some explosives to make good on Richard's threat to blow the Ajira plane sky high so that MIB can't use it to leave the island. Miles questions Ben's navigational skills. Ben assures him he's quite familiar with the proper directions having lived there so long. "I lived here 30 years before you did....otherwise known as last week," Miles retorts referring to his three year stay in 1977. They exchange quips about Ben's C4 stash which, he reveals, is in his old house in a secret room behind his bookcase (not in Brian's shorts as John Bender from 'The Breakfast Club' might insist) They walk further until they arrive at the barracks (DHARMAville....'New Otherton' if you're nasty...I think I may have used that joke in every recap blog since season 3, why stop now?) Miles stops in his tracks and begins to freak out a little as we realize he is hearing the voices of the dead. Richard insists it is Ben's daughter, Alex, that is causing the stir. Richard informs Ben that he buried her body where they are standing after Ben left her there last season. Ben sincerely thanks Richard for his kindness and they move onward. At Ben's old abode, Ben reveals to them the secret room that we have seen once or twice before in previous seasons. Inside the secret room is another secret door which we know conceals an entry way, a sewer drain of sorts, for the smoke monster to reveal itself. Miles jokes that it is a 'Secreter room'. "I was told I could summon the monster from here," Ben reveals, "...that was before I realized IT was the one summoning ME," he adds. Opening the 'secreter' door, we see large amounts of C4 explosives. Ben takes enough out to blow the plane 'to hell' as per Richard's suggestion...which, amounts to ALL of it. They grab what they need and head out but, are stopped dead in their tracks by a commotion in the kitchen. It's Zoe the Useless flanked by her leader, Charles Widmore. This is Ben's first face to face meeting with Charles since he snuck into Widmore's off-island bedroom and accused him of changing the rules. (Right?) Widmore helps himself to a glass of water from the sink as he orders Zoe to go sink the outrigger they arrived on after unloading the equipment from it. (that's ironic...water from the 'sink' while he talks about having the boat 'sink'...I'm just sayin')  Ben has them at rifle point and won't allow her to leave. Widmore assures Zoe that he won't harm them, because if he does his last chance for survival will be gone. (C'mon, Zoe's not Ben's last chance for survival...shoot that bitch! Ugh...) Widmore asks Richard why the three are at Ben's house in the first place and Richard doesn't hesitate to reveal their full plan. Charles implies their mission is a useless one since he and his men rigged the Ajira plane with explosives as soon as they arrived back on the island. (See, I'm wrong again! I'm wrong all the time, really. Drats.) "I'm always three steps ahead of you," Charles boasts. He reveals he's back on the island because Jacob invited him there. He insists Jacob visited him off the island after they dispatched his freighter crew. "He convinced me of the error of my ways and told me everything I needed to know for this exact purpose," Charles claimed. As he is about to reveal that 'exact purpose' Zoe calls in via walkie-talkie as she spots MIB/Locke through binoculars arriving by an outrigger of his own. Widmore demands that she just return back to where they are so they can hide from the terrible monster.

Jack, Kate, James and Hurley walk through the jungle. James wonders aloud why 'Locke' wouldn't just kill Desmond if he wanted him dead. "Who knows," Jack admits, "maybe it's just one of his RULES." He jokes. James takes the moment to wonder if Jack is sure that they wouldn't have died if they had just let the bomb in the submarine detonate. "I've been wrong before," Jack assures him. James chokes back sudden emotion. "I killed them didn't I," he asks. "No," Jack insists, "HE killed them!"
Hurley and Kate follow slightly behind. Just then, Hurley spots Boy-Jacob off in the distance of the jungle clearing. As Kate catches up with her two mens, Hurley scopes around to see if his eyes had deceived him whilst Boy-Jacob sneaks right up behind him. "Gimme the ashes," he demands, "I saw you take the ashes from Ilana's things after she died," he continues, "I know they're in you pocket." Hurley wonders why he should, to which Boy-Jacob insists that they belong to him. He snatches them from Hurley's sirloin sized hand and jets out into the jungle. Hurley follows closely after him and passes a clearing to find Adult-Jacob sitting by a fire. (Funny, Jacob, aged 30 years, and started a fire in the time it took for Hurley to run through 5 minutes of Jungle. There's vindication for you, Francie and Mike!) "Did you see the kid with your ashes," Hurley inquires. "I'M here now," Jacob answers. He points out that his ashes are burning away within the flames of the fire before him and that once they burn out, Hurley will never see him again. "You should get your friends," Jacob insists, "we're very close to the END, Hugo." (Tell me about it!)

Smoke/Locke exits his outrigger and notices Widmore's outrigger docked nearby loaded with crates. Back at Ben's house, Ben suggests Widmore and Zoe hide in his secret room. He is going to confront MIB, accepting the 'inevitable'. Miles decides to flee into the jungle alone and take his chances but not before Ben hands him one of Charles' walkie-talkies so that they can stay in touch. Richard decides he may stand a chance trying to speak with Locke Monster one on one. "He wants me to join him," he tells them, "maybe that will give the rest of you a chance." Outside Ben's place Richard walks off to the open grass while Ben takes a reluctant seat on the front porch bench. The silence is broken by the clatter of the smoke monster barreling through to the camp. It hits Richard like a freight train sending him flying into the jungle. The Smoke monster disappears behind a wall of the house and reemerges as John Locke. Locke/MIB grabs a seat next to Ben, laying his rifle down and brandishing his 'Rambo' knife. "Just the man I was looking for." Smoke/Locke muses. "Well you found me," Ben sighs offering him a glass of lemonade. "I need you to kill some people for me," MIB requests. He informs Ben that the island will be all his once he leaves it. Ben agrees to the deal and MIB asks a few burning questions. He asks about the other outrigger and Ben informs him that it is Widmore's who is hiding in Ben's closet. (..and not in Brian's shorts either. C'mon I liked that joke!) Ben accompanies Locke/MIB to the secret room, revealing Zoe and Charles waiting inside. MIB shares that it is nice to speak with Charles without being separated by the sonic barrier fences. Zoe introduces herself and Charles Widmore forbids her to speak to him any further. Locke/MIB lashes out and slits Zoe's throat spewing her blood as she drops to the floor. "You told her not to talk to me," MIB offers to Charles, "that made her pointless," he finishes. (THAT made her pointless. Jeez, if only Widmore would have forbid her to speak her much sooner) MIB infers that Charles isn't afraid to die and that the only way to motivate him to divulge his plans is to threaten the life of Widmore's only daughter, Penny, whom he will kill as soon as he gets off the island. MIB gives Charles his word that no harm will come to her if he spills the beans to him. Charles informs us all that he brought Desmond Hume back to the island because of his unique resistance to electromagnetism. "He was a measure of last resort," Charles informs him but, that's all he'll divulge while Ben is in earshot. MIB suggests he reveal what's left of his plan to him by whispering into his ear. MIB and Charles pow wow privately while Ben sneaks out of the room long enough to grab a gun, return an shoot Widmore three time, killing him. "HE doesn't GET to save HIS daughter," Ben anguishes. MIB wipes his knife clean of Zoe's blood and insists to Ben that he managed to get all the information he needed before Ben pulled the trigger. "Did you say you needed me to kill OTHER people?" Ben wonders blankly.

Hurley still stands by Jacob's fire, with Jacob himself, as Kate, Jack and James catch up to them. Jacob says hello to each and Hurley begins to translate for them when he realizes all three of them can SEE Jacob just as clearly as he can. "So you're the one who wrote our names on the wall," Kate asks. "I am," Jacob responds calmly. "Kwon and Sayid...Jarrah you wrote their names on the wall.....is that why they're dead," she asks. "I'm sorry," is all Jacob offers. "I wanna know that they didn't die for nothing," Kate begs angrily. "Come and sit down," Jacob offers, "and I will tell you WHAT THEY DIED FOR and than I'll let you know EVERYTHING you'll need to know about protecting this island," he continues, "because by the time that fire burns out, one of you is gonna have to start doing it!"
The 'candidates' exchange looks. Jacob has trouble starting the questions and answer session and Hurley suggests he start by explaining why he brought them all there to the island. "I brought you here because I made a mistake, a mistake I made a very long time ago and because of that, there is a very good chance that every single one of you and every one you care about is going to die," he finishes. "What mistake," Sawyer demands. Jacob informs them that the monster is his responsibility since he made him what he is. That ever since he became the smoke monster, he has sworn that he will kill Jacob. Since he has finally found that loophole, "Someone else will have to replace me," Jacob informs them. "That's why I brought you all here," Jacob divulges. "Tell me something, Jacob," Sawyer wonders, "Why do I gotta be punished for your mistakes....I was doing just fine until you dragged my ass to this rock," James insists. "No you weren't. None of you were," Jacob scolds. "I didn't PLUCK any of you out of a happy existence," Jacob makes them aware. "YOU WERE ALL FLAWED!" Jacob continues as he reveals that they were all chosen because they were ALONE like him. "I chose YOU because you needed this place as much as I needed you," he explains. "Why did you cross MY name off of the wall," Kate demands to know. "Because you became a mother. It's just a line of chalk in a cave. The job is yours if you want it, Kate," Jacob offers. "What is the job," Jack pipes up. Jacob explains to them that the light at the center of the island that we found out about in 'Across the Sea' has to be protected. It's protector has to make sure it never goes out. "Your monster friend says that there was nothing to protect it from," James chimes in. "You have to protect it from HIM," Jacob responds. "You have to do what I couldn't. What I wasn't able to do," he continues. "You want us to kill him," Jack interrupts, "Is that even possible," he asks Jacob. Jacob informs them that if they don't kill him, that he will find a way to kill them. Hurley asks how Jacob will pick the 'candidate' to replace himself and Jacob responds that he won't. "I want you to have the one thing I was never given....." ................Everybody together now............. "A CHOICE"...yes, yes "...a choice," Jacob finishes. Kate wonders what will happen if no one chooses as Hurley closes his eyes tightly in hopes that no one blames him for choosing the 'Stay Puft Marshmallow Man' who is now attacking the island and covering it in a footprint of gooey marshmallowy goodness. No,no...that can't be right. Hurley just kind sits there all dopey-like as per usual. Without a protector chosen than THIS all ends badly Jacob informs them.  Jack cuts through the question and answer session, "I'll do it," he announces slightly unsure of his decision. "This is why I'm here. This is what I'm supposed to do," he adds. "Is that a question Jack," Jacob tests him. Jack acknowledges that it is not. "Good, than it's time." Jacob confirms. Jacob leads Jack out to an inlet of water as his friends look on. "And I thought that guy had a god complex BEFORE," Sawyer jokes. "James" Kate scolds him as if he was speaking too loud at church. "Yeah, I know..." he retracts. "I'm just glad it's NOT me," Hurley admits. Jacob reminds Jack of the bamboo fields in which he originally woke up after flight 815 crashed upon the island. He tells him that he'll find the heart of the island just beyond that field. "That's where the light is. That's where he wants to go. That's what you have to protect," Jacob explains. "There's nothing out there," Jack defies. Jacob insists there is and implies that he may only be able to find it now that he IS the 'protector' and may not have even been able to see it before. Jacob chants over some of the water in the brook as he asks Jack for a cup. Jack presents one from his bag of tricks and Jacob proceeds to fill it with the anointing water. He offers the cup to Jack and tells him to drink of it. Jack hesitates. "How long am I gonna have to do this job," he asks. "As long as you can," Jacob promises him. Jack drinks it all and lowers the cup revealing a similar glow of enlightenment upon his face that we saw upon the face of Jacob in 'Across the Sea' after he drank from his mother's cup. It's as if Jack may now just KNOW. Or maybe I'm just reading WAY to much into two very similar facial expressions from two very different looking actors. "Now, you're like ME," Jacob proclaims.

Ben and Smoke Locke trek through the jungle. Ben wonders if he may ask MIB a question and MIB seems very open to respond to him in any way he can. "If you can turn yourself into smoke whenever you want than why do you bother walking," Ben inquires. "I like the feel of my feet on the ground...reminds me that I was human," he explains, (fitting, since we know Smokey now shares some of John Locke's consciousness, a man who has spent quite some time in a wheelchair) "WE'RE HERE!" They stop at the well and MIB informs his new-old buddy that he had tossed Desmond  down into it and had sent Sayid to kill him. A newly laid rope extending down into the well suggests his wishes were not carried out. "Looks like someone helped him out," Ben suggests. "NO Ben," MIB corrects him,"someone helped ME out." Ben asks MIB to let him in on what Widmore told him before Ben shot him. "He said Desmond was a 'failsafe'. Jacob's last resort in case I managed to kill all his 'candidates'. One final way to make sure I never leave this place," Smoke/Locke explains. Ben wonders why MIB seems so happy about Desmond not being killed and that he has escaped. "I'm going to find Desmond and when I do he's going to help me do the one thin that I couldn't do myself," MIB answers. "I'm GOING TO DESTROY THE ISLAND!"

For what might be the last time...
Things I'm Pondering

• What's with Jack's perpetually bleeding neck in the Flash Sideways? Does Desmond come over every night as he sleeps and shave his neck with a straight edge to help him remember the great beard he used to have when he was poppin' pills and joyriding on planes? Is someone trying to decapitate at nigth while he sleeps, 'Highlander' style....there can be only one! Is his head just gonna fall off one morning? Really guys, is this the best way to have Flash Sideways Jack wake the f*ck up? There's gotta be a pay off for this. Keep your answers to why there was a HUGE statue of Taweret at the shoreline of LOST island, 'cause my new obsession is wondering wtf is up with Jack's bloody neck.
• Why do our candidates continue to refer to the man in black as 'Locke' when they all know him to be otherwise. Is this just a plot device for us, the viewers, to keep John Locke alive through the end of the series. Surely they don't think of this monster in human form as John Locke. Why not use fun nicknames like we do?
• Is Richard dead? Did the smoke monster just kill him? Can he be killed by the smoke monster? Can he be killed by anyone? Would you think he's probably done something to upset SOMEBODY in the last 100 years of agelessness for someone to try to kill him, namely the MIB? I don't I'm just kicking around thoughts but I HOPE Richard doesn't go out like THAT.
• This 'light' in the cave Jacob refers to is starting to make me think of the 'light' a patient portends he sees while having a near death experience. When throwing 1,000 ideas at the wall, I once thought it would be odd,yet cool if they could find a way to explain that our main characters were all suffering in a hospital somewhere and were, either, in self induced or medically induced comas. This 'light in the cave' just brings me back, momentarily, to those thoughts and that maybe the 'cave of light' is just a manifestation of the bright light and tunnel we hear those who have crossed over, and somehow return,speak about. I'm still open to a shocker of this caliber if done correctly.
• Thanks to the LOST abyss for giving me one last does of Ana Lucia but, I also specifically prayed to the LOST alter asking to.....'GIVE US BACK OUR BLACKS'!  C'mon, only 2 1/2 hours left and now Flash Sideways ghost of Mr. Ecko? No Flash Sideways creepy Mr. Abbadon? No hint of what Sideways Walt and Michael have gotte themselves into. C'mon, give a brutha back his blacks! I needs 'em! I needs 'em.

I imagine this mad rush to the 'concert' that the majority of our Flash Sideways cast is experiencing is going to culminate in a very unexpected and emotional way. I, for one, will be keeping my eyes peeled for some equally unexpected cameos at that concert.This is going to rock!

A reminder that this weekend ABC will be throwing at you so much LOST content that you can pretty much just stay in your jammies all weekend with your stuffed killer whale under your armpit.

Saturday evening is LOST Season 1 Episode 1 'The Pilot' with ALL NEW pop up information so that the creators can't secretly laugh at al the naysayers by showing all the stuff that had been in the books since day one.
Sunday the festivities begin at 7pm with a quick recap of all 6 seasons, and than goes right into the 2 and 1/2 YES 2 and 1/2 hour finale! Directly following the finale is the Jimmy Kimmel Live LOST wrap up party.

This is truly it folks. The final countdown if you will. I just want to wish you all a great LOST Finale gathering wherever you are and whomever you're partying with. Know that wherever THIS writer is he sits there...on a couch, alcohol in one hand, food in the other....as he's done for six wonderful years......LOST.

Link to previous LOST Recap for Season 6 Episode 15 'Across the Sea'