40 Years Of The Governator

It's hard to believe, but actor Arnold Schwarzenegger has been blowin shit up on the big screen for 40 years... 40 F$#cking YEARS. Even though he has slowed down recently to act as govenor of the great state of California, he is planning to make a cameo in this years upcoming film The Expendables alongside other great 80's action stars like Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis. Somebody over at YouTube put together 160 of the greatest lines ever spoke on the silver screen by Sir Arnold, and after I watched this I had to share it with you guys. It's hard to admit it, but Arnold has made some great fucking movies. Commando, Predator, The Conan and Terminator Collections... wowsers!!! He has come a long way from Hercules In New York. And its hard to argue with the 1.6 billion dollars he has generated domestically... long live "The Governator" !!! Enjoy the clip.

This Is Sportscenter: The Ultimate Betrayal

For all you people who live under a rock, or just are not sport fans, Sportscenter is a highlight show that airs at various times throughout the day on ESPN, the biggest sports cable network in the country. Most sportsfans watch the show at least once a day, but people obsessed with sports like me find ourselves watching the show multiple times a day for constant updates. The show features a rotating cast of anchors, both men and women, who all have their distinct brands of humor and catch phrases that make the show so great. But the best part about Sportscenter, or ESPN for that matter, are the series of commercials that they use to promote the show. Throughout the years there have been hundreds of these commercials, starring athletes, mascots, anchors and celebrities to illustrate what life must be like at the ESPN studios in Bristol, Conneticut. They are usually quite hilarious and make you appreciate good advertising as well as offering you a new prespective on atheletes you usually only see performing in their particular sport. For all you non sports fans out there, this is an oppurtunity for you to see great commercials you probably have never seen because you don't watch ESPN. You may not start liking sports because you watch these clips, but you will enjoy some funny stuff. It's a win-win for everybody.

This week we find David Ortiz from the Boston Red Sox & Jorge Posada from the NY Yankees in a board meeting at the ESPN offices when they notice how clean Posada's hat is... What follows may make it a little bit tough for Big Papi to play at Feneway this season. Hysterical as usual, and in perfect time for the start of another great season of AL East Baseball. Let's Go Yanks!!!

 

The Real Batman & Robin... T-Shirt That Is

Our boys over at TeeFury are at it again, and this time the shirt of the day revolves around the greatest superhero duo of all time... Batman and Robin. There is only one catch. Artist Pe choses to portray the Dynamic Duo in their true animal forms, with utility belts of course. Like all TeeFury shirts, this shirt will only be available fo 24 HOURS and is just $9.00 US (plus $2.00 shipping). For 11 bucks, you are getting some hot fire. The left is the female cut and the right is male. Both shirts are charcoal gray and come in a full size run. Below is the link to connect you to TeeFury's website where you can order this wonderful shirt... but remember, you only have 24 HOURS!!! Hop to it. To the batcave!!! Shout out to Teevil and the rest of the crew over at TeeFury continuing to bring the hot threads everyday, allday.

Batman and Robin T-Shirt by TeeFury

DVD Release Day March 30,2010

Sherlock Holmes - (Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mack Strong)

This is Guy Ritchie's take on the classic english detective that starred in the stories of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Ritchie is know for gritty, grimy crime drama's that are filled with wit and humor... and in this version of Holmes, he does not disappoint. Downey is awesome as Holmes, creating the perfect balance between eccentric and genius.  Law plays a much different Dr. Watson then we have seen in the past. In this film version he is not just a sidekick, he is an equal to Holmes as well as a good friend concerned for his good friends mental health. Mack Strong has the villian thing down pat, and his turn in this film cements him as one of the great bad guys in recent cinema. After he becomes a star in Green Lantern next year, you will remember that this is where the casting directors probably fell in love with him. The stage is set for a sequel, so I think this is just the first step in a potential franchise for Ritchie and the crew.

Disney's Alice In Wonderland - (Animated)

Released in 1951, some people view this as the greatest animation ever done in the history of the Disney studios. Telling the story of Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland and intertwining in certain elements from his sequel Through The Looking Glass. It features the most songs of any Disney film and was also one of the first Disney movies to be released on home video. The movie was a pet project of Walt Disney himself, and although it never recieved such great results upon intial release, it has gained cult status over the years. The 70's drug counter-culture brought the film into popular circles again, and its been enjoying a status boost ever since. Disney is trying to capitalize of the success of Tim Burton's live action version of the story, so why not release a DVD of the seminal animated version of the same story. Even 59 years later, the film holds up. Enjoyable for the whole family.

Also Being Released This Week: Alvin and The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel, The Abbott and Costello Complete Series, Collateral (Blu-Ray), An Education, Lupin the 3rd: Episode 0

Reality Check #3 by Kate Jones

It’s been a while, people, and for that I am truly sorry. When I thought to myself I could be a reality TV blogger, I forgot the many other necessary but significantly less fun obligations in my life… like work and school. Alas, my time is limited, but I have decided that I would come in here for those of you who care and give you a quick recap of some of the things going on over in reality land.




The Biggest Loser

So far this season has been extremely satisfying on the weight front. All of the men have been losing massive amounts of weight. Sam and Koli (Samoan cousins) are barely even overweight anymore, In fact, Sam is kind of hot! The girls are starting to lose like crazy too, though at a significantly slower rate then the men. My heart is with Stephanie that seemed to plateau around 208, but then lost 9 lbs to finally go below the 200 lb mark. As someone who has struggled with my weight for my entire adult life (thanks a lot beer and fried stuff), I know the frustration of working hard and not seeing results. For me, though, that means eating a brownie and laying on my couch to catch up on The Rock of Love Bus. It inspires me to see these girls not give up!

Next week, the eliminated players are coming back and I am guessing that one of them will return to the show. Previews seem to be hinting at Melissa, this season’s sad excuse for a villain. Ironically, this past week, the blue team eliminated her husband Lance, because he was feeling doubt and guilt over the fact that he was on the ranch and she wasn’t. Won’t it be ironic if she comes back?

The Amazing Race

Bye, Jeff and Jordan! I will miss you guys! My Big Brother favorites finally said good-bye this week on Race. They are so completely adorably dumb, that all I wanted to do was reach into the TV and help them. Unlike Brent and Catie (dating models) who are just mean and dumb. The remaining teams are the Middle Age Detectives, the Dating Lipstick Lesbians, the Baseball Coach Father and his Daughter, the Gay Brothers, The Cowboys (!!), and the dumb, but attractive Dating Models. I have no idea how this race is going to wind up. Honestly, I hope the Cowboys or Detectives take this thing. With Jeff and Jordan gone, I am now left to root for people to lose. I’m sorry, Dating Lesbians, but I just think you are catty and mean. I hope you lose and can’t spend all your money on Louis Vuitton bags.

Undercover Boss

If you need a good cry, watch this show. It’s nice to think that somewhere in this world, a corporate big wig cares about what his employees think. The Churchill Downs episode was great, as was the Hooters one. As a lover of all things Buffalo Wings (where is my application for Biggest Loser again?), I really loved watching what goes on behind the scenes at a Hooters. I also loved it when CEO Coby Brooks saw one of his managers, Jimbo, make the girls have a mouths only bean-eating contest. A man in power should never be able to treat any woman like those girls were treated. It was humiliating for them. Unfortunately, Coby was a little too easy on Jimbo and let him keep his job. I would have had him on dumpster, dishes and toilet duty from now until he dies! I also would have allowed each of those girls to kick him in the balls, once a day until each of them got a shot!

Who Do You Think You Are?

I didn’t get the chance to watch the whole show, but everything I have seen so far has been extremely interesting. I am a history geek, so seeing these people track their way through history is very interesting to me. Give it a shot if you are home on a Friday night!

Frank the Entertainer’s In a Basement Affair

I need to catch up on this show as soon as humanly possible. I can’t get me enough, Frank! Or Dyker Heights!

…..and last, but certainly not least…

SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS

All I have to say is, thank you, Mark Burnett! Thank you, Jeff Probst! Thank you, Survivor Big Shots and CBS executives! Thank you for putting Boston Rob and Russell together on the same island to fight for $1,000,000!

So much has happened! The Great Cirie Blindside of 2010 was a sad but necessary move for the Heroes to make. The girl is dangerous, and has friends on the other side! Smart move, country boy JT! I didn’t think you had it in you. This week also had the most amazing “pep talks” between Coach and Tyson and Coach and Rob.

Coach was feeling a little down on himself after Sandra called him out for not doing as much work around the camp. He went off to sulk and asked Tyson why people don’t like him. Tyson said I’ll help you out, buddy, just stop wearing feathers in your hair, stop telling your stories that no one believes and do your tai chi in private. This seems a little too hard for Coach to handle until Boston Rob told him that he is completely safe in their alliance and to stop crying and act like a man. This made Coach happy. He just wanted the cool kid’s acceptance.

A short aside about Boston Rob- I LOVE HIM! Thank you, Jaime Palazzi, for getting me to watch Survivor All Stars way back in 2004! My life has never been the same. Anyway, I think marriage and parenthood has done well by Rob. Everyone on that tribe wants his love and acceptance… except Russell, Danielle and Parvati. Back to that later.

Anyway, the week after Cirie left, James, the biggest, must muscley Survivor ever, went down hard and hurt his knee. What would this mean for the floundering Heroes? Certainly they would have to send James home! Nope, not so much. They got rid of Tom, the fireman from Brooklyn and my second most favorite survivor ever. It made sense for the Alliance of James, Amanda and Rupert, but made no sense for Candice and JT who had switched their votes the week before to save the Tom and Colby alliance. The decision to send Tom home seems even more stupid after watching the latest episode. Also, this week, Russell found the Hidden Immunity Idol, and his entire tribe knows it! This guy loves his idols!

So going in to this week’s episode, the heroes were slowly dying, and their strongest competitor has a bum knee. The villains are storming ahead, but Russell and Rob are waiting for the first opportunity to get rid of the other.

So, the tribes go to their challenge and Jeff announces that both tribes are going to tribal council and that only one person from each tribe will be immune. The heroes do their challenge first and Candice wins immunity. Good for you, Candice. Amanda was gunning for you this week, so you probably needed it. The Villains go next and, of course, the puzzle master, Rob, wins immunity! No matter what Russell tried, there is no getting rid of Rob this week. Rob and Candice face off against each other for a food reward and Rob wins that as well. The Villains now get to eat hot dogs and drink soda while watching the Heroes at Tribal Council.

The Heroes go back to their camp and Colby says that he knows that he is going to be sent packing, so he is not going to scramble around for votes. He just wants to enjoy his last day on the island. The tribe talks over whether they should send Colby or James… because James’s big muscley ass just can’t pull his own weight around camp with a bad knee… and he’s eating all the bananas! Well, it seems pretty cut and dry, right? JT and Candice got rid of a perfectly good competitor in Tom last week to keep the bum knee banana eater there. They would certainly keep him again and get rid of Colby, right? Wrong, the entire tribe got rid of James and it didn’t even seem to be a blind side. Amanda wouldn’t be able to do that to James. Not only that, but he was joking about getting drunk when he was leaving, instead of wanting to kill somebody. Good editing, Survivor editors!

Now back to the Villains and the much more interesting portion of the show. This was without question the most interesting strategic moving I have ever seen. The genius of Russell and Rob is incredible to watch. They out maneuvered each other constantly and Rob came with a 99% foolproof plan to get rid of either Russell or Parvati.

Rob and his crew (everyone besides Russell, Parvati and Danielle) decide to vote out Parvati, but make Russell believe that it will be him, so he uses the idol. Russell can see that Rob is playing him a bit and decides that he would give Parvati the idol and they would get rid of Tyson, who they think is Rob’s strongest ally (physically they are probably right). Rob, though, was not born yesterday. He knew that it would be possible for Russell to give Parvati the idol, so he came up with a perfect plan. I call it perfect, because if the six people in Rob’s alliance followed the plan, Parvati or Russell would definitely be going home. Rob said that three of them, Sandra, Tyson and himself, would be voting for Russell and three of them, Courtney, Coach and Jerri, would vote for Parvati. Then, if Russell, Danielle and Parvati vote for ANYBODY, it forces a three-way tie. Here are the possibilities of what could have and should have happened had there been a three-way tie:

1. No idol is played. There is a revote. Rob’s crew votes out Russell.
2. Parvati plays the idol. There is a revote. Rob’s crew votes out Russell.
3. Russell plays the idol. There is a revote. Rob’s crew votes out Parvati.

Do you see what I was saying? Foolproof. Foolproof but not Tysonproof. Right before they go to Tribal Council, Russell tells Tyson that he knows that he can’t save Parvati, so he is going to vote for her as to not upset the people he needs to go back to camp with. By saying this to Tyson…

1. Russell got some confirmation that Parvati was the target, making it easier to give her the idol.
2. It made Tyson think that if he switched his vote to Parvati, there would be no chance of his own alliance turning on him and getting rid of him. He was PETRIFIED of the planned tie.

So they get to Tribal Council, and Russell, while eye-humping her, gives his idol to Parvati, because he wants to play a loyal game. Rob and Co. still looked confident. They show the votes. Parvati gets 4 votes, but is immune. Russell gets 2 votes and Tyson gets 3 votes, sending him home in what was, in my opinion, the dumbest move in Survivor history. Rob looked astounded! He also looked like he was going to kill somebody. Well played, Russell! You went after the weak link and it worked, but now… there is no idol to save you from the wrath of team Rob. Unless Survivor puts one into play next week and completely breaks my heart.

So that’s all for now, reality lovers. Do you have a show that you want me to check out? Let me know here on C-C-D or follow me on twitter @kcjones501.Make sure you take the time to click the FOLLOW button in the right hand margin and become a Follower of C-C-D by signing in using Gmail, AOL, Etc. Enjoy your week!!!

Gran Apertura Vol #1

Gran Apertura means "Great Opening" in Italian. I felt it was an appropriate title for the new column I will be writing here at C-C-D. I love movies, but every once in a blue there is an opening segement in a movie that just sets the bar way to high for the rest of the flick. This opening scene is so good, it can't be topped by the rest of the movie itself. Or, sometimes the opening scene is part of an excellent film, and it does the job of getting you roped in. No matter what, the opening scene in a movie is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT scene in the whole film. So this column will highlight some of the greatest opening segements from the wide world of cinema. If you like what you see, maybe you will go ahead a check out the films in completion. Happy Viewings!!!

This Weeks "Gran Apertura": The Way Of The Gun

This movie is a so-so kidnapping thriller, but the opening scene is one of the most shocking things you will ever watch in your whole life. We get introduced to crazy ass Ryan Phillipe and his friend Benicio Del Toro... and well lets just say they don't like it when girls run their mouths like dudes. This scene also stars Sarah Silverman long before she became a star with a hit TV show. Trust me, her mouth was pretty bad back then as well. After you watch this, tell me I'm wrong about just how great this scene is. Enjoy!!!

 
via videosift.com

SNL Throwback Of The Week #7, 3/27/2010

I am a huge Saturday Night Live fan. One of my earliest memories was of my parents watching SNL every Saturday while we were tucked in our bedrooms, and sometimes being allowed to watch for a bit. The show has gone through its ups and downs over its 35 year run, but the fact that it is still on the air after 35 years is a testament to the staying power of the show. Lorne Michaels is a genius at finding and developing young, comedic talent. SNL has produced a bevy of stars over the years, from Eddie Murphy to Tina Fey. The show is doing well again thanks to Ms. Fey and the rest of the team, but I love watching clips from the old shows. Every Saturday I will give you guys one of my favorites. This weeks clip features the late great John Belushi in his memorable character "The Samaurai". This time we find the Samaurai working at a front desk clerk at a hotel. Chevy Chase is trying to get a room and some info on the hotel, but Belushi has some other plans to share instead... Also, the clip features a very unlikely Samaurai Bellhop, played masterfully by the one and only Richard Pryor. Watching these two great comedy legends who have passed on way to early will surely bring a smile to your face. Its great to catch some of the early seasons of SNL and see these future stars before they were huge. Enjoy. Live from my living room, It's Saturday Night!!!!

It's Saturday: Lets All Go To The Movies!!!

OK, OK... you made it through another week. And even though the weekend starts at 5 pm on Friday, most of us really don't start to enjoy our weekend until Saturday morning. Waking up and not having to go to the hell hole of a job that you occupy during the week is a relief of epic proportions. You can do whatever you want, and usually for me that involves wanting to hit up a movie theater at some point. The reasons why its a great idea to go to the movies are endless, but one reason I like it is that its a short term event (like 2,3 hours tops) that you can fit in anytime during a busy weekend. We all know whats playing at the Multiplex... everyday we are bombarded with ad's for movies in the newspaper, on the train, and on the radio. My then 3 year old son used to ask me what the date was, and when I would tell him, he would then immediately shout out the big movie that was opening that week. But in most cities across the US, there are alternative/boutique type theaters that show mostly independent and revival films. The independents are cool, but the revival films are the best. What better way to relive your childhood then seeing "Gremlins" on the big scree en after 20 years. Or maybe getting a chance to see something at the movies that you weren't around to see during it's original run. Either way it's a great activity for day or night. Here was going on in movies this week. Enjoy the fresh popcorn !!!

Opening March 27th Wide Releases : Hot Tub Time Machine, How To Train Your Dragon (3D also)


Independent/International Releases: Bluebeard (French Import), Ca$h, Chloe (Canada), Eclipse (Irish Import), Waking Sleeping Beauty (Documentary)

Special Screenings:

The Shining and Strange Days playing Saturday at Midnight @ IFC Center (212) 924-7771

All of Tim Burtons classics playing @ Moma (various showtimes) (212)-708- 9480

Pick of the Week:

Coming To America - Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, Directed by John Landis

This 1988 classic comedy is one of the FUNNIEST MOVIES EVER MADE. I have never met anyone who has told me they ddn't love this movie. Murphy plays a Prince Hakeem from the land of Zamunda, and Hall plays his trusty sidekick Semi. They travel to NY to find a worthy bride for Hakeem... and what better place to start then Queens??? Murphy and Hall play like 40 characters in diferent costumes, one better then the next. Highlight of the movie was definetly the bar sequence when they are interviewing prospective women for Hakeem. Absolutely hysterical. You will love this movie on the big screen, if you can hear it over all the laughter in the theater.

Midnight show @ Landmark Sunshine Cinema 212-330-8182

Enjoy the Popcorn and Candy... have a great day!!!

Lost Recap Season 6, Episode 9 "Ab Aeterno" by Jeff Bond

I have been writing LOST episode recap blogs on my own for years now. Posting them everywhere from my large email friend-base to MYSPACE, to Lost board websites, to FACEBOOK, to the blog site's of other friendly 'Losties'. This season I am honored to be posting the remaining recaps EXCLUSIVELY for Cultural Compulsive Disorder!!! Join me there each week for my futile Lost TV show ramblings, but tune in daily, no.... hourly, for an endless array of movie, TV, music, comic book, fashion, and general geek-dom that Mr. Mike D provides. Take a moment right now to make C.C.D one of your favorites, and please become a follower of the blog. Just click follow over on the right hand side, sign in using one of the accounts provided (Google, AOL IM, Yahoo, etc) and watch your picture pop up. Comments are also appreciated...

Let's get involved here, peoples!!! So here... we... go!!!


'Ab Aeterno' (from the beginning of time) Excelente! Magnifico!

I'll admit, I tend to proclaim that each episode of LOST is better than the last (unless, of course it's an obvious filler episode as next week's will undoubtedly be) But last night's Richard-centric episode? HoHo, it's definitely up there as one of my top five episodes of LOST of all 6 seasons so far. The 'flash-sideways' story telling technique of this season was totally cast aside with no apologies from the creators. They probably knew that we wouldn't care. No need for those pesky X's for this recap
installment to help you distinguish character A from his counterpart B. Evidently our cast is all from Universe 1.0. I'm stalling on how to begin my recap because the three time lines that occur in this episode cause a bit of a problem for my own writing technique so I'll start like this.......

Flashback to the Russian hospital seen last in the season 5 2- part finale 'The Incident'.

Ilana is bandaged and one eye is left unsheathed as was the case last season. She is recuperating from, still undetermined, traumatic wounds. Jacob enters wearing a dapper BLACK suit and BLACK leather gloves. (I'm all but convinced that he wears these gloves so he doesn't accidentally waste his 'touch' on those he isn't planning on touching.) The scene unfolds exactly as we saw it unfold originally. Jacob requests Ilana's help and his over expressed phrasing of "Will you help me, Ilana?" seems to imply to this writer that he is making abundantly clear as per the rules that she is going to be helping of her own free will. She agrees to do so. This is where
the new footage appears. Jacob tells Ilana he'll need her to protect 6 people....the 'candidates'. He'll give her a list of their 6 names. Her mission is to lead them to the 'temple'. Once there, she'll need to find Ricardus who will know what to do next. He reminds her that THIS is what she's been 'preparing for'. Got it!

Now I'll take you to Tenerife in the Canary Islands in the flashbackier time of 1867. Exactly 140 years into the past from what is now the islands 2007 present. Did the math? Cool.

Richard is on horseback trudging rapidly through the countryside. He arrives at his modest cottage home and rushes to the bedside of Isabella who is very ill. She addresses him as 'Ricardo' as they both speak in Spanish with subtitled translation. Isabella coughs up blood. She's getting worse. Ricardo will head back out to get the doctor and hopes to be back by 'sundown'. He'll bring with him what money he has but, Isabella insists he take her cross pendant and chain from around her neck (which is made evident that it holds very strong meaning for the two) It will now be used for payment. Ricardo is hesitant to leave her side but Isabella insists, saying, 'Close your eyes...we'll always be together'. They kiss and, with 2 minutes of superb acting, top notch writing and Michael Giacchino's Academy award winning score, I feel like I'm as familiar with the love of this newly visited super couple as I was with the love that drove Penny and Desmond, episode after episode, in previous seasons. F*ckin' LOST. It gets me right here (softly pounding on my chest). You know you love it.

Ricardo is next seen hightailing through the rain and darkness to 'Rite Aid'....sorry....the town doctor who is living quite lavishly. His servant tries to stop Ricardo from interrupting the doctor's meal. Ricardo excuses is interruption but the doctor isn't very disturbed. He hardly looks up from his meal at all. As meat drips from his mouth, he gestures for the butler to get Ricardo some towels because he's getting his floor wet. How do you say 'douchebag' in Spanish? Oh yeah, 'douchebag'. The doctor won't be returning with Ricardo to 'El Soccorro' (Spanish for American Football, I think) out in that weather but he has the medicine Ricardo needs to make his wife well. Whoa whoa whoa, easy there Ricky, money talks, bullshit walks....so let's have at those doubloons shall we? Ricardo doesn't have enough in coins so he offers the cross necklace to the doctors dismay. He doesn't accept Christian trinkets as payment. Must be Jewish....Buddhist? Ricardo insists he can work off the debt somehow. He pleads and begs....begs and pleads....until somehow the doctor is on the floor bleeding from his 'fro, dead. Accidente! Accidente! Is there a doctor in the house?? Oh, nevermiiIIIiind. Some how in the midst of their struggle the medicine winds up in Ricky Ricardo's hand and he flees the scene. He hasn't enough time. He has to save Izzy B! Upon his return to the cottage it is clear that she wasn't able to hold in there any longer. Lawmen arrive at the house and Ricardo is arrested for the murder of his primary care physician.

In his prison cell, Ricardo catches up on his Queen's English Bible studies. A slimy priest enters. The kind of slimy priest that molests little Latino Canary Island boys and dresses in womens pantaloons in private. He inquires about Ricardo's English and Ricardo divulges that he had been learning the language for the voyage he and his wife planned to take to the 'New World'. (Shades of Sun and Jin) Richard is reading Luke 4:37 which I found for you below:

And (A) He came down to (B) Capernaum, a city of Galilee, and He was teaching them on the Sabbath; and (C) they were amazed at His teaching, for (D) His message was with authority. In the synagogue there was a man possessed by the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice, "Let us alone! (E)What business do we have with each other, Jesus of (F) Nazareth? Have You come to destroy us? I know who You are--(G) the Holy One of God!" But Jesus (H) rebuked him, saying, "Be quiet and come out of him!" And when the demon had thrown him down in the midst of the people, he came out of him without doing him any harm. And amazement came upon them all, and they began talking with one another saying, "What is this message? For (I) with authority and power He commands the unclean spirits and they come out."

A passage about Jesus casting demons from his followers bodies! It is my conjecture that the smoke monster may be just that, a demon cast out of his body and trapped on the island where he continues to take the form of dead relations of it's unknowing inhabitants. Until, of course, the more sensible scientific portion of this series kicks back in after it's pretty lengthy hiatus and makes better sense of this all. Whattya think? Just another 'red herring'?

Ricardo asks to be absolved of his sins. He confesses to the accidental murder and Padre Slime ball refuses. He cannot be absolved of murder he can only do penance, atone for his sins, but he hasn't the time required....he is scheduled to be hung the following day! The priest insists the devil awaits Ricardo in hell. He suggests that maybe God will have mercy on his soul. Way to
comfort him in his final hours padre Pio. Some time has passed and the priest again enters Ricardo's cell accompanied by two prison guards. They blindfold Ricardo and drag him down the hall where Whitey awaits. I mean Jonas Whitfield. For the extensive purposes of this recap I'll be referring to him as 'Whitey', possibly 'The Man' or Cracker-ass Cracker'. Whitey checks Ricardo's teeth and gums, like Michael Vick used to check his prized pit bulls, and demands to know if Ricardo speaks English. (More shades of the Sun & Jin storyline). Ricardo admits he does. Whitey will take him! Today's Ricardo's lucky day He'll be venturing to the 'New World', after all, as a his slave (which suddenly doesn't sound so bad after facing being hanged in a matter of hours) A slave on the elusive 'Black Rock' ship owned by Magnus Hanso, that is. Yes THE Magnus Hanso, whose grandson Alvar was one of the founding members of the DHARMA Intiative! (along with the DeGroots)

Aboard the 'Black Rock', Ricardo has been shackled up in the holding area below the deck alongside three other Spanish speaking slaves presumably from the same location he was taken. The ship is experiencing a storm, one might say, of biblical proportions. One of the slaves, who can see out an opening in the ship, reveals they are nearing an land. The island, unfortunately is being guarded by 'El Diablo'...the devil himself! When what the prisoner sees comes into view, we are excited to see the massive statue we've come to know as that of Taweret, god of fertility. The one that looks out unto the ocean from LOST island! Before we can reach for more dip for our Ruffles brand potato chips the ship, resting on a massive wave that rises higher than the statue itself, bashes into the statues jawline. 5 minute break for juice. I'm getting excited just writing this all.....take 5 people!

OK, long camera pan up to 'Black Rock' which is now in it's final resting place, smack dab in the middle of the island. In the ship's lower level the three Latin slaves are still shackled and chatter is heard above on the boat's deck. "God spared us" one slave remarks...."At least SOME of us", he adds. Whitey Whitfield is heard looking for Captain Magnus Hanso. I couldn't make out what was said though. 'Bring me to Hanso' or something along those lines. Did Magnus survive the shipwreck? He WAS on the boat, right? Anyone? Anyone? Anyway, with that, Whitey comes down to the lower level, draws his sword and plunges it into the hearts of two of the slaves. The third, with a paid speaking part, begs for his life but he, too, is offed. At first I thought Whitfield might be infected but he offers up some slave owner logic which explain his madness to Ricardo: "No fresh water, limited supplies, five officers left" he mumbles, "If I freed you....you'd try to kill me." Aight, sounds good to me...carry on than Cracker!. Not so fast! Some familiar 'roller coaster & adding machine tape' noise coupled with 4 or 5 screams of horror later and we can assume his 5 officers just got dispatched above by Smoke Thing. Hell Yeah! Whitey pauses his murder spree to see what's going on. As he peers from below through a large storm grate, we're delighted to see fantastic amounts of blood messing up his navy blues as it drips from above. Before any of us can react, Smoke Thing seeps below through the grate and busts Whitfield up through it. Ouch! This is the kind of stuff that, we forget, just doesn't happen on regular network programming. I love this show!

Like an alien insect, Smokey lurks down the stairs and comes smoke to face with Ricardo. Ricardo looks into it's darkness and than clenches his eyes closed tightly. The Smoke Monster is doing his familiar scanning technique, complete with paparazzi like photography noises, which he once used in the present-past on Ecko and Locke in previous seasons. When Ricky opens his eyes he finds Smoke Thing has vanished. Some time later, we're outside the hull of the ship again, following a gorgeous blue butterfly down to the lower level where Ricardo is trying to dislodge a large nail from the floor board and uses it to scrape at the metal bolt bit that connects his shackles to the ship. He's, again, asleep and time has apparently elapsed once more. There's a wild boar feasting on a corner dead man. The boar notices Ricardo and charges in his direction making Ricardo lose reach of the nail which was his only tool of escape. Ricardo sleeps some more and there's an indication, by notches scraped into the wall, that he may have been down there shackled up alone for 5 or 6 days already. He awakens to the familiar sound of a woman looking for survivors....Isabella! She comes to him and tells them they are both in hell. She says they both have to get out of there before 'the devil' returns. She's looked into his eyes and sees only evil. We hear Smokey approaching the ship again and Ricardo insists Isabella save herself. She, reluctantly, flees up the stairs and we hear her accosted by the Smoke Monster.

Time goes by and Ricardo is awakened from more sleeping by 'MIB', the 'Man in Black' what we know to be the earliest human form of the Smoke Monster. He touches Ricardo on the shoulder, pours him a mug full of water and introduces himself as 'a friend'. Ricardo double checks with him what he learns from Isabella that they are in 'hell'. "I'm afraid you are," MIB confirms. MIB says he didn't come there on Ricardo's ship....he's been there a long time ('Ab Aeterno',maybe?). MIB tells Ricardo HE has her. 'You know who', he continues. He will
help Ricardo escape because he knows how it feels to want to be free....and, as it just so happens, MIB has the keys to Ricky's shackles. If he helps him, Ricardo assures him he'll do ANYTHING he aks of him. Careful, Rick, that's how men wind up blowin' other guys. Just sayin'. MIB tells Ricky the only way to escape this hell is to 'kill the devil'...and it sounds as if Ricardo is down. A deal is made and Ricardo is unshackled. "Good to see you out of those chains." MIB says. I phrase we've heard him utter to Rich before, in this world's future after finally disposing of Jacob. This most likely confirms to Richard who's really in the Locke suit, if he has any doubt.

Outside the ship, MIB sits on a throne similar to the one in Jacob's foot hideaway. MIB feeds Ricardo
as he catches him up to speed on where to find the 'devil' and what to do when he finds him. He passes him what appears to be a sheathed version of the exact same dagger and passes along the same instructions Dogen gave an infected Sayid a few episodes ago in order to dispose of the present form of the Smoke Monster Locke. He is to plunge the dagger into the devil's heart before he can utter a word or it 'will be too late'. Ricardo wonders how he can do that when the 'devil' is made of black smoke. "No, I am" MIB corrects him. "The devil betrayed me as well, he tells Ricardo. HE TOOK HIS BODY & HIS HUMANITY. But, none of this will bring Isabella back to Ricardo, MIB tells him.

Richard has agreed to the deal by the looks of the next scene. He has stumbled out to the beach clearing, alone, to the base of the statue where he will confront the 'devil' of his own free will. Note the damage done to Taweret's statue and that the head and parts of it's body lay right in the ocean in front of it. Probably sunken and covered by more water over time. Jacob sucker punches him from behind and quickly defuses the situation and scoops up the dagger. "Who gave you this?" Jacob demands of Richard. Richard disregards the question and begs to know where Isabella is. Jacob seems sincere in having no idea who Ricardo is talking about. He asks if Ricardo has met a man in the jungle, a man in black. Ricardo indicates that he has and that man has sent him here to kill the devil who has his wife. Jacob reassures Ricardo that he is not dead and the figure he saw was NOT his wife..that they are not in hell. Apparently either there's some neat fish Jacob suddenly wants Ricky to see or Ricardo needs more convincing that he's not dead because Jacob effortlessly drags him out into the water and proceeds to dunk and drown him several times. If he were already dead should he be afraid to drown? Wow, that's some tough love, coach. Ricardo wants Jacob to stop because he 'wants to live'. According to Jacob, this is the 'first sensible thing (Ricardo) has said. Now they need to talk.

Richard dries off and is offered a mug of wine that Jacob pours them from an old skool bottle. (Jacob's team has got the better drinks at least. Maybe he can turn water into wine, though...haha) Ricardo asks Jacob what's in the statues foot. Jacob responds that nobody comes in there unless Jacob invites them in. So NOT what Ricardo asked you, dum-dum. I gather Jacob's not in the mood to divulge the contents of his summer home to a complete stranger. "Are you the devil?" Ricardo wonders. Jacob hesitates but assures him he isn't with a firm 'No'. He did bring Ricardo's ship, though. "Why?" Ricardo presses. Jacob takes a drink of the wine and lifts the corked bottle. He indicates to Richard that the wine in the bottle is what Ricardo calls 'hell' or what some might call 'malevolance, evil...darkness' swirling around inside. (Kinda like what's growing inside Sayid and Claire?) The CORK keeps the darkness where it belongs. The island is the world's cork. Jacob says MIB believes man is corruptible because it is in his 'very nature to sin'. Jacob brings them there to prove him wrong. Their past doesn't matter. (I can't rap my head around why a glorified jailer is entertaining his prisoners game of righteousness. Any ideas?) Ricardo wonders just how many others Jacob has brought to the island. Jacob answers that it was MANY others and that they are ALL dead. Ricardo suggests that he
intercede..to help them, but Jacob insists they can help themselves. The question of who's right and who's wrong is meaningless if Jacob steps in to help. "Why SHOULD I step in?" Jacob asks in a defiant tone that reminds be of when he asked Ben '..What about you' in his final breath. "If YOU don't" (step in) HE will". Ricardo threateningly assures him. Jacob takes a moment to think and it appears Ricardo has a point. Why should MIB intercede on the this test of free will and righteousness but Jacob shouldn't. Ricardo has just landed himself another payless job. He will be Jacob's intermediary, interceding when Jacob won't. In return Richard will....umm...get his wife back. No. Richard wiiiiiill be absolved of his sins. Nope. "Than I want to live forever" Richard blurts out. Time, a luxury Ricardo didn't have when he was in his holding cell back on the Canary Islands. Presumably he'll use all the time in the world to make his penance. "That, I can do", says Jacob and with a touch, Jacob has granted him his wish. Ricardo returns to MIB's outdoor throne room and hands him a white rock like the one seen on the scales in the caves in 'The Substitute' episode. MIB knows this means that Ricardo has joined allegiances with his nemesis and points that if he does so he will NEVER get his wife back. Kindly, MIB gives to Ricardo, Isabella's cross and chain. Ricardo 'must have dropped it back on the ship'. The MIB says that if Ricardo ever changes his mind, his offer still stands. Ricardo takes the cross and buries it at the foot of the MIB's throne.

In 2007, Team Jacob gathers around a campfire after 'sundown'. Ilana, Frank, Sun, Jack, Ben & Hurley discuss the issue of the 'candidates'. Sun says Ilana told her she is one (To be exact, she specifically told her that 'Kwon' is a candidate and didn't know which...Sun or Jin. My lollipops are still on baby JiYeon!) Sun indicates that Ilana also named Jack and Hurley amongst the 'candidate' list. Damn this is all mind blowing. Can you imagine what must be going through these castaways' heads after remaining alive after 2 plane crashes and some time travel and countless other b.s.? Now having to digest being a 'candidate' for a seemingly Immortal beings' career path? Anyhoo, Frank asks what they do now but Ilana doesn't know. Ricardus does. Richard sits behind them a little whacked out after suicide attempt. He let's out an unsettling laugh and tells the team he has no clue. (he reminds of Daffy Duck a little lately. ..a little self centered and completely batshit crazy) He just tried to commit suicide, does he look like he has a plan? Guess not. "Everything that Jacob ever says is a lie" , Richard offers. At that, Richard is up on his feet and in Jack's personal space. He let's Jack in on a little secret. Jack's dead.....they're all dead. Literally dead...and in
hell! Richard announces he's done listening to Jacob, it's time he starts 'listening to someone else. Richard grabs a torch and heads in the jungle, alone. Ilana says she's going after Richie. Jack's sure Richard's lost his mind and doesn't care anymore. Ilana know's who Richard is going to go listen to and Ben has the 'line of the evening': "Oh, THIS should be interesting", he says. Sun tells Jack they mean Locke. But Locke's dead, of course. "Your pathetic consolation is not exactly Locke", Ben remarks to Jack. Great!...I remark This whole discourse reminds me that Jack has no idea there's been a Locke-like figure walking around the island since Ajira crashed. I get chills. In a way, Locke has been Jack's, sometimes friendly, nemesis. Men of Science, men of faith. When one believes in the powers of the island, the other has no faith. When one gains faith in the island, the other has lost it. Now here's Jack after his 'Lighthouse' epiphany and he learns there's a new version of Locke roaming around. The team is interrupted by Hurley standing and speaking Spanish to himself. No clue what he said. I don't understand Hurley's version of Spanish. Anybody catch any of that? Jack thinks he speaking to Jacob. Hurley insists he ain't. Who he IS speaking to has "...nothing to do with Jack," Hurley apologizes. Anyway, Ben's pretty sure Richard doesn't know anything. They've known each other since Ben was Harry Potter and Richard hasn't aged since.

The next day, Richard is seen arriving at the MIB's vista throne room. He drops to his knees and digs up the cross which he buried there over a century ago. The cross is pretty clean and pretty close to the surface. My guess is that this indicates that Richard has dug it up from time to time to reminisce. Richard is ready for a team change. He pleads to the heavens for a response from the MIB, "does the offer still stand.?...You said the offer would still stand!" My head swirls with the thought of how many times he may have had a weak moment and changed his mind or come in contact with
the MIB, since 1867, trying to seduce him over the century as well.
Maybe never. Just a thought. "What offer, dude?" MIB says. (Haha... I meant Hurley says but, that would be funny) "You're wife sent me...Isabella" Hurley offers (my eyes well up...sniffle) she wants to know why Richard buried her cross. Isabella comes into our view. She's standing right next to them. Eye to eye with her man. "He doesn't believe you." Isabella whispers to Hurley. "Sometimes it takes people a while", Hurley comforts. Very 'Jacob' of you, fatty. "Close your eyes" Hurley's words become one with Isabella as they speak to Richard in a surreal Whoopi Goldberg/Oda Mae Brown moment from the movie 'Ghost'. Isabella lets Richard know it's not his fault she died. He did his best for her and suffered long enough. She insists she and Richard as 'already together' as she did at her death bed. I believe they will be any time he wants to close his eyes and imagine her to be. Richard has accepted his new destiny. He puts the cross back on his neck in remeberance of his love as she vanishes from our sight. "She kinda said one more
thing," Hurley interrupts, "She says you have to stop the man in black from leaving the island or todos los vamos infierno....we all go to hell!" Pan to Smoke Thing/MIB who has been watching them from a distance in his Locke suit.

Pan to MIB in his 'Deadwood' suit also looking out into the clearing...but back in 1867. Jacob joins his side as I
hang on every word: JACOB: Good morning MIB: mornin' (reminds me of the Loony Tunes Road Runner episodes when The Coyote and the sheep dog used to punch in for work, than be at each others throats all day...than punch out at 5pm) JACOB: Did you get my present? MIB: Don't gloat. It doesn't become you. JACOB: So you tried to kill me. MIB: Expecting an apology? JACOB: No, wondering why you did. MIB: 'Cause I want to leave. Let me leave, Jacob JACOB: As long as I'm alive you'll NEVER leave MIB: Well, that's why I want to kill you...and I WILL kill you. JACOB: Even if you do, someone else will take my place. MIB: I'll kill THEM too.

With that, Jacob gives MIB the wine bottle he had used to describe the paradox of the island prison to Richard. "Here," he says "something for you to pass the time. See you around." he adds. "Sooner than you think," MIB retorts. Jacob leaves and MIB turns the bottle over cork still in place....and bashes the bottle on nearby rock. Releasing onto the ground without removing the cork.

As usual, Things I'm pondering:

• Seems like MIB's rules on how to slay Jacob is for a different reason than why Dogen infers MIB be killed in the same fashion.(i.e. before they speak a word) Although Smoke Monster/Locke was seemingly unharmed by the dagger to his heart when Sayid hesitated and stabbed him AFTER he spoke, Jacob was finally done in by Ben after saying quite a bit to him. I suggest that Smoke Monster can't be killed in his human form because he isn't quite real. Jacob however is a physical being who will be able to talk his slayer out of harming him by telling him the truth about the situation if given the chance. 9 times out of a billion the truth will probably stop a would-be assassin. This all makes me wonder how many unsuspecting assassins MIB has sent out against Jacob over the generations. I guess this means it's abundantly clear that Dogen just wanted Sayid dead when he sent him to kill Smoke Monster/Locke because it doesn't appear that Jacob and his people want MIB dead, just imprisoned.


• MIB tells Jacob, 'the devil', has taken his body and his humanity. It's starting to sound more and more like Jacob and Smoke Monster may be one in the same in some metaphysical fashion. I'm now wondering if the MIB is some sort of demon exorcised from a body they shared. Left to roam free in smoke form like that of the demon in the passage of Luke's Bible entry.


• I'm still wondering what HAPPENED to Ilana? She got must up something awful. Wonder if it factors in somewhere.


• This 19th century wooden ship taking down a towering statue seems to be giving people a little bit of trouble. I too am in disbelief but I've seen a lot crazier things happen on the island. If it helps, note that the largest wave we've ever seen before slapped into the statue of Taweret with unimaginable force, as well as the ship. The ship just made it through the collision safely, somehow. . We just don't know what exactly Jacob does to bring these vessels to the island...how safely they can make it through harsh situations like this.

What are you pondering? Can't say enough about this episode. I've watched it twice so far, I plan on watching it again with pop-ups and I'll probably sneak a fourth viewing of it in before the week is up. Next weeks episode is set around Sun or Jin, I believe. What's in the package!?! ......Probably just another helping of LOST! (and just my size too, thanks grandma)

Link to last weeks recap Season 6 Episode 8 'Recon':

Lost "Recon" Recap on C-C-D by Jeff Bond

- JB

Throwback Thursdays Vol #8, 3/25/2010

This weeks throwback thursday picks are dedicated to my good friend Maryann G... these songs have different meanings for us and represent times that I remember with her... love you Mar. Why ya gotta live so far away for??? Hope you guys enjoy the picks.

Wu-Tang Clan - Protect Ya Neck



Mary J Blige - Real Love



Tony Bennet - Rags To Riches - Goodfellas Soundtrack

New Kick Ass Red Band Trailer... Wow!!!

This movie looks phenomenal... and its getting the approval of the guys that I trust most: Former geeks who have made it in the movie industry like Edgar Wright and Kevin Smith. Thats the kind of endorsement a film like this is looking for. The cast looks wonderful, and since the comic creator Mark Millar was involved in the movie from the begining it should be awesome. So here is the latest Red Band Trailer for the film I can't wait for. Kick Ass premieres in England on March 26th, 2010 and here in the USA on April 16th, 2010. Hope this can hold you guys over!!!

DVD Release Day - March 22, 2010

The Blind Side - (Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron)

Trust me guys... Oscar got this one right. Sandra Bullock sparkles as the tough as nails rich lady with a heart the size of planet Earth. She feels bad for a large homeless boy named Big Mike that goes to here childrens school. So she does what any logical upper class white mother would do... she invites the boy to come live in the house with her husband and their two teenage kids!!! She takes a chance on Mike, and he learns what it is like to have a family that cares for him. This would suck the big one if it was  a typically made up story, but thats the best part: THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!! Michael Orr is currently playing in the NFL for the Baltimore Ravens, and most likely this is because of the kindness that was afforded to him way back when. This one is a tear jerker, and Bullock gives the performance of her long, outstanding career. You will love this one, trust us. When they talk about feel good movies, this is what they have in mind.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox - (George Clooney, Meryll Streep, Jason Schwartzman)

Wes Anderson is a wonderful director. This is not open for debate, this is a fact. I love when actors and directors take chances after they achieve a certain level of greatness. Tom Cruise has been sucking it up lately as an actor, but when he took a chance a poking some fun at himself and stole the show as the dancing movie mogul in Tropic Thunder. Thats what I mean by taking a chance... and it paid off. Anderson is known for his quirky movies and collaborating with Luke and Owen Wilson and Bill Murray repeatedly. He took a shot and adapted this stop motion version of the Roald Dahl classic novel. And boy did he nail it. It helps when you get George Clooney and Meryll Streep involved, because they are somewhat known to be pretty decent actors... WTF!!! This cast is incredible, from Clooney and Streep, to frequent Anderson collaborators Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman. This also features so many cameos they can not ven be named. This movie was nominated for the Best Animated Feature Film award at this years Academy Awards, and it could have easily been one of the best picture nominees... no bullshit. If it wasn't for the mega hit UP, Fox would have won the category easily. Nothing wrong with coming in second to UP (great flick). Good for both adults and kids, this one won't disappoint.

Also Released This Week: Toy Story/Toy Story 2 Blu Ray Combo Pack, Mad Men Season 3, Seraphine, AfterDark HorrorFest Vol 4 (8 movies), Krod Mandoon and The Flaming Sword of Fire, The Men That Stare At Goats, The Prisoner (AMC Miniseries), Yojimbo and Sanjuro Blu Ray Combo Pack

C-C-D: My 100th Post... And On My Way To 1,000,000 More!!!

Today C-C-D turns 100... posts that is. This is a huge milestone for me, considering that my ADHD usually leads me to start something and move on to something else rather quickly. But I always wanted to do a blog, and things finally have come together here at Cultural Compulsive Disorder. I have great contributors in Jeff Bond, James West and Kate Jones who make my life easier by writing great posts for our enjoyment. I also want to shout out Sevz Cru for making some great videos that I have had the pleasure of posting. I would also like to shout out all the people who come to C-C-D and read our crazy posts, but especially the ones that take the time to click and become followers on the actual blog page. We gotta get that number up kids!!! Also, please follow us on Twitter, @YouDownWitC_C_D because thats were you get my wittiest updates... and it makes me look better when my followers go up. Plenty of more stuff to come in the future kids, including our new movie review system and some new contributors (Lets go Kristen and CL) as well as more of all the great stuff you have come to know and love here at C-C-D. I only have one question: You Down Wit C-C-D??? Yea, You Know Me!!!

Get Ready For The Smurfs...

I'm an 80's baby, born and bread. My childhood saturdays consisted of waking up around 6 am, making myself cereal, plopping down in front of the TV and watching cartoons. He-Man, GI Joe, Dungeons and Dragons, Dragon's Lair, Spiderman and His Amazing Friends, Thundar the Barbarian, Thundercats, Voltron... you name it, I loved it. But there were a couple of shows that were more up my sister Oona's alley. Shows like the Snorks, the Wuzzles, and the Smurfs that were kinda cool, but as a boy you never wanted to admit you liked them. My sister Oona had a huge thing for the Smurfs, and she collected the little figurines that went along with it. She had hundreds of these blue fuckers, and she displayed them up on her shelves for show. I was not allowed to touch them, and that drove me crazy.

The cartoon was pretty cool, a village of little blue creatures being tormented by an evil wizard named Gargamel and his cat Azrael, who want to eat them and use their Smurf magic to make gold. The series is set in medieval times and started off as a companion to a sword and socery comic strip entitled Johan and PeeWee. The little magical creatures are all blue, they are all male except for Smurfette (who was an evil smurf made by Gargamel), and they all wear white pants and white hats. They also have distinct accessories to distiguish them, like Brainey wearing glasses or Hefty constantly working out with his barbells.

Well, like most things from the past, Hollywood is going to take a shot at turning this beloved Cartoon into a CGI/Live Action Trilogy in the vein of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. At first glance, I dismissed this as terrible. Why, good lord, why??? But then the voice cast and live character actors leaked out, and I began to get excited. Not only are the names great, but such good choices for each character... well, maybe this won't be so bad. I'm sure it will be a very entertaining kids movie, and as an adult with a child that all you can ask for so that you dont want to kill yourself in the theaters. Neil Patrick Harris will play Johan, the squire that discovers the magical creatures that live in the forest near his castle. Hank Azaria will be playing the evil wizard Gargamel... and thats awesome!!! Anything with NPH and Azaria will at least get a look from me. And now for the voice actors playing the Smurfs: Johnathan Winters will play Poppa Smurf, the leader of the village. Quentin Tarantino will play Brainey, the village know-it-all. Kevin James will play Hefty, the tough guy smurf, and Alan Cummings will play Gutsy, the bravest smurf. George Lopez checks in as as Grouchy smurf, and Katy Perry will voice the only female smurf, Smurfette. All in all, this is an interesting cast. As long as they look better then the guys above, the movie will be a win in my book. I am now looking foward to the movies, and want to shout out my man Jeff Bond for putting me on to this news. Long live the smurfs... now lets just hope Hollywood does not butcher the shit out of a beloved childrens franchise.

The Comic Book Pull List, Vol. #3 by James West

If your not reading these, you should be.

Batman and Robin #10- The Return of Bruce Wayne Begins

I don’t say this often, however, this is honestly one of the greatest single-issue comic book stories I’ve ever read. Maybe not as good as Who Is Donna Troy? or The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man, but it’s up there. With this issue, Grant Morrison begins to weave his tale of how Bruce Wayne is going to return. He does is superbly, as it’s an excellent, fast-paced, old fashioned detective story as Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, and Alfred scramble around the Wayne mansion on a trail of clues left for him in time by Bruce himself. As Dick puts it, “It’s like one big game of Clue”. The relationship between Grayson and Damian is also beautifully explored, and you find out Damian might not be so mean after all. Definitely a must read.

The Siege #2

I actually can’t say much about this book without spoiling any of the high amounts of awesome. I will say this: a main character literally gets ripped in two, and it ends with a certain character about to taste the end another certain character’s shield. If you haven’t been reading this, pick it up now. It is, after all, the story seven years in the making.

Now get out there and support your local comic book stores. Fuck Barnes and Noble and Amazon... support your local comic book and hobby shops or they will be gone forever!!!!

 

Lost Recap Season 6, Episode 8 "Recon" by Jeff Bond

I have been writing LOST episode recap blogs on my own for years now. Posting them everywhere from my large email friend-base to MYSPACE, to Lost board websites, to FACEBOOK, to the blog site's of other friendly 'Losties'. This season I am honored to be posting the remaining recaps EXCLUSIVELY for Cultural Compulsive Disorder!!! Join me there each week for my futile Lost TV show ramblings, but tune in daily, no....hourly, for an endless array of movie, TV, music, comic book, fashion, and general geek-dom that Mr. Mike D provides. Take a moment right now to make C.C.D one of your favorites, and please become a follower of the blog. Just click follow over on the right hand side, sign in using one of the accounts provided (Google, AOL IM, Yahoo, etc) and watch your picture pop up. Comments are also appreciated...

Let's get involved here, peoples!!! So here... we... go!!!

Flash Sideways. Ford-X is in bed with a skank and he's 'unbelievable'. Was there ever any doubt, ladies? Skank tells Ford-X that he's going to be late for his 9:00 appointment because it's already 8:42 (Locke's #,Kwon's #....wink!). Ford-X jumps up and collects his things, including a briefcase which, in it's usual 'Sawyer Con' fashion errupts on the bed exposing bundles of dough. Ford-X begins spouting on with what sounds like what we've grown to know as his usual con but the skank is on to him. Her husband (is he important?!) is a con-man and she's familiar with the routine. Except this isn't a con, Ford-X reveals. It's a sting to catch that very husband.....and the place is surrounded by cops. All Ford-X needs to do is vocalize the safe word and the cops will come sweeping in. So he does:

"LeFleur." (haha)

Cops barge in lead by Ford-X's partner Miles-X! Ford-X is a "...damn cop!" You'll remember, these partner's had doppelganger's trapped in the island's 1970s incarnation in Universe 1.0 who were sheriff and deputy, heads of security within the DHARMA Initiative, before the 'Incident' shook things up. Any chance things that happened on the island to each candidate are directly affecting this new universe! What say you!?

At the precinct, Ford-X is cold calling the homes of Anthony Coopers looking for the man who conned his parents when he was 9 years old. Same same aaaaand same! Cooper-X we might assume is the father of John Locke-X in this universe as well, since we saw them, together, in a photo a few weeks ago posted at Locke-X's desk. Miles-X arrives and asks who 'Anthony Cooper' is. Ford-X lies and says he's an old friend who is working on Lakers' tickets for him. Miles-X wonders if they bumped into each other in Palm Springs, the trip Ford-X was supposedly on in the lie he told Miles-X to cover up his trip to Sydney Australia. Ford-X is caught in a lie and is not very good, it seems, at keeping his lies straight. Nevertheless, Miles-X has 'set up' Ford-X on a date with a friend whom works with his dad at the museum. Miles-X's dad, Pierre Chang-X is alive and well, and working at a museum. (I infer) Ford-X isn't keen on the blind date idea and suggests Miles-X go on the date. Miles-X reminds Ford-X that he already has a girlfriend. (Is SHE important?) Who's Miles-X's girlfriend? Is it another cool cameo? I'll guess........Ana Lucia. Police officer from a different department. What's your guess? Winner gets a lollipop!

Miles-X wonders aloud if Ford-X wants to '...die alone'. (.....as in 'live together, die alone'...wink!) Ford-X covers up for a few more lies and Miles-X notices his demeanor and flat out asks '...are you lying to me man?" Ford-X doesn't exactly lie this time when he responds "Why the hell WOULD I lie?" This has all left me thinking.....what a AWFUL liar this incarnation of Ford is.

Next we see Ford-X arrive at a bar/restaurant looking dapper. A quick call to Miles-X to remind him what his date looks like and we're introduced to the only redhead at the bar......archaeologist Charlotte-X!! (Strange twist) Flirting over dinner about their work ensues, Ford-X asks if she's the kind of archaeologist comparative to Indiana Jones. She answers affirmatively which leads Ford-X to wonder aloud where her 'whip' is? (kinky) Charlotte-X doesn't look so much like Rocky Dennis from 'Mask' in this universe. She wonders when and how Ford-X decided to be a cop and after another one of his lines, it's revealed that he came to a crossroads in his life where he could have become a cop or a criminal and chose this future. A smile and a wink later and Ford-X is in bed again and this time he's just as 'unbelievable' I'm sure. Even if Charlotte-X hasn't brought her whip. (I wish...I liked these 2 together.) Ford-X gets up to get Charlotte-X some water and she goes to borrow a t-shirt from his drawer. I'm sure I'm mistaken, but she appears to me to be looking for more than just a t-shirt. More like she's on a mission. Sure enough, she finds a binder in which Ford-X has been keeping clippings and photos regarding the deaths of his family caused when he was 9. Ford-X catches her snooping and is furious....tossing her out on her ear. Get to steppin', triflin' ho!

Back at the precinct, Ford-X is punching the clock for another day workin' the grind. As he enters he bumps past, none other than, Liam Pace-X who is having trouble bailing his brother, Charlay-X, out of prison after his arrest on drug charges stemming from the hubbub on flight 815-X. Ford-X attempts to help out but, that "....ain't (his) department". Enter Miles-X who's heated and drags Ford-X into the locker room for questioning. Miles-X ran Ford-X's credit cards and the charges point to a trip to Sydney rather than one to Palm Springs as he'd detailed. Ford-X is frustrated and decides it's none of Miles-X's beeswax. For reals, Jimmy! Get that bitch in check! Miles-X decides the lying has disrupted their partnership and he's going to diffuse it. Ford-X takes the final bit of frustration out on the locker room mirror, breaking it with his fist. (There's those Flash Sideway's MIRRORS you were hinting at last week, Jason.)

Ford-X is back at his apartment, cooking frozen meals and watching reruns of 'Little House on the Prairie'. On it, Pa is reassuring,his daughter, Laura Ingals that she can't spend her whole life worrying about her when or how her parents will die. Life is about laughing and loving each other and living for today. Anyway, when people die, they aren't gone for good they live on in memories until we can see them again. All this strikes a nerve with Ford-X who hightails it over to Charlotte-X's apartment with a sunflower and a six-pack from his fridge. Charlotte-X is NOT having the Mr. Niceguy routine and sends our boy packin'. Ford-X, saddened by his attempt leaves the sunflower at her doorsteps and trudges back home.

Next we see Ford-X waiting by the curb in his car for Miles-X. He reveals the whole deal to him. The story we've all grown accustomed to 'bout HIS pa being conned and losing all his money and taking both the lives of his wife, Ford-X's mother, and his own. Changing Ford-X's life forever and sending him on a vengeful wild goose chase after 'Anthony Cooper-X' who he will kill for his troubles. Miles-X wonders why this is the first he's hearing of all this and Ford-X responds that he knows Miles-X would try to talk him out of all of this. One would infer that Ford-X is revealing this all now because he's ready to be talked OUT of it all. No time for hugs and kisses because a runaway car has just smashed into theirs. The perp flees the scene with Ford-X and Miles-X hot on her trail. Ford-X backs her down a dead end street and removes her hood to reveal.......Kate-X! "Son of a Bitch!" Flash Sideways was jam packed with cameos: Kate, Miles, Charlotte, Liam.....plus Pierre and Charlay by way of names being dropped.

To the island........WhoooooOOOosh (NOTE: we're whooshing again with the sound I've attributed to 'Team Jacob' rather than the evil roller coaster sounds of 'Team Smoke Thing')

James is boiling tea, at Creepy Claire's bird nest, for the injured Jin whom, you'll recall, busted his leg open like a bloodied hamhock in one of Crazy Claire's polar bear traps. Jin awakens and asks James where 'Locke' and Claire have gone. He insists they get out of there before those two return. James admits he's 'WITH Locke' to which Jin reveals that ain't REALLY Locke. We know and James knows too, but the guy who ain't Locke is gonna get them off the island. Jin won't go anywhere because there's a chance Sun is somewhere on the island. (sweet) James makes a heartwarming promise that they won't leave without Sun. (sweeter) Seems as though James is recruiting for HIS team as well. Any chance they had to sneak off before 'Locke' and Claire return has been dashed because "theeeeey're baaaaAAAaaack!" Smoke Monster/Locke has returned to the crazy nest with his new disciples in tow. Kate, Soulless Sayid and Kooky Claire amongst them.

Back from commercial break, Creepy Claire is packing the best of her trash collection for a move. She stops to peer in on her make-shift ALF doll that has taken the place of baby Aaron in her new life. Kate intrudes and has the ONLY look of disgust for what she sees. "It's all I had," Crazy Claire offers, referring to her creepy cu-pie doll. Outside the nest. Smoke Monster/Locke rallies his troops. He announces that he'll make himself 'available for questions' (thanks, 'cause unlike these rubes, I gots plenty of questions,buddy.) Right now they gotta keep moving, though. (figures!) That doesn't stop flight attendant turned 'Other' Cindy from asking what happened to those left behind at the temple. Smoke Monster/Locke is forthright with her.....'The Black Smoke killed them" (fair enough!) Children Zack & Emma are shown visibly shaken by this revelation. Kooky Claire holds Kate's hand. Quick pan to Soulless Sayid who has no reaction. Somebody check if he is even breathing, please. Does he have a pulse? Creep. The team heads out. James catches up with Kate and inquires about Jack, Hurley and the rest(?).....aww he cares. Kate reassures him that they made it out of the temple. She doesn't know about Miles, however. Kate now asks if James is WITH 'Locke' and he replies that he 'ain't WITH nobody'. Good news Kate (and you too, ladies!) James is single! They catch up with the rest of the group. Smoke Monster/Locke announces they will stop and rest up. That they might be camped out for a few days. James takes umbrage with that. 'I thought you said we're getting OFF this rock," James demands. Smoke Monster/Locke insists they ARE but asks to speak to James in private. "I wish you hadn't interrupted me," Smoke Monster/Locke scolds. James "forgot his manners". (Haha I love this guy). Smoke Monster/Locke forgives him. James wants to know how he saved the peeps at the temple from the 'Smoke Thang'. He didn't, of course. He IS the 'Smoke Thang'. There you have it. The smokes outta the bag! I love the name Smoke Thang, by the way. It's a keeper! Smoke Thang gave the others an opportunity to leave peacefully and they didn't take it. He explains that the others are convinced that they are protecting the island from him, but all he wants is to leave. "Kill or be Killed," he announces......and he don't wanna be killed. This begs the question,'He CAN be killed!?'

Smoke Thang takes James to where the catamaran is docked. He shows James the island across the way, Hydra island. Smoke Thang asserts that passengers from the Ajira flight are camped out there. He wants James to run a 'recon' mission infiltrating their group and finding out whatever he can about them. He's 'confident' James can handle it because he considers James the "best liar (he) knows". Once he finds out everything he can, they will all 'fly' off the island. Whew....now...... James is alone on Hydra Island. In the zoo to be exact. He reminisces over the cages he and Kate shared. The first time they fucked! He even finds the dress Kate was forced to wear inorder to seduce him. Aaaah, Those were the days.

At Camp Smoke Thang, Kate sits down next to Soulless Sayid to ask a few preguntas but he's just plain out of it. Just then, Crazy Claire attacks Kate at knife point. A brief struggle on the ground is further proof Sayid is LOST because he won't even look in their direction let alone lift a finger to aide Kate. (....or help Kooky Claire extract vengeance for that matter) Smoke Thang soon intercedes. Five fingers to Creepy Claire's grill proves Smoke Thang's pimp hand is VERY strong. Crackow! This dude's got all his ho'es in check. He made ME feel that shit. Bitch settle down! This is completely inappropriate," he disarms. You're tellin' me?! 'Inappropriate' is DEFINITELY the word.

Back on Hydra Island, the Ajira plane seems to be intact sitting on the man made beach runway where it was landed safely by pilot Frank Lapidus. There's an old campfire, some clothes and
supplies strewn around....oh yeah, and a pile of bodies. (You saw that chick with half her head blown off!? Sheesh.) Footsteps in the woods reveal a sole survivor who looks like Tina Fey's unbathed aunt. She alerts James that all the others were massacred while she was out gathering fire wood. She returned and piled them all up so they wouldn't rot in the island sun. She's got tons of questions, though. She thanks God when James tells her they aren't alone, but James is quick to insist "God ain't got nothin' to do with it." That line seemed directly pointed toward us fans who have been worried as of late that this show might wind up having revelations heavily routed in biblical lore. Looks like James' words may imply otherwise....or at least it will be rooted in the devil, more than in God.

Back to Camp Smoke Thang, 'Locke' apologizes to a visibly shaken Kate. He explains that HE told Crazy Claire the 'others' had Aaron. People sometimes need somebody to hate. Hate is very powerful. HE GAVE creepy Claire someone to hate, but the truth brought out her anger. Kate remarks that this is all "very insightful for a dead man". She changes topic. Wants to know where James is. Smoke Thang will SHOW her.

Over near Ajira, new bitch (Zoe) can't stop asking questions. Seems as though SHE'S the one on the Recon mission. Says she was on Ajira bound for Guam, where her boyfriend is. James ain't buyin' it. Pistols are drawn, but James is outgunned by Zoe's crew, led by the kid from 80s sitcom 'Kate & Allie' (good eye Bri) who take him to the docks at rifle point....to the submarine!

Back over at island numero uno, Smoke Thang arrives at the shore with Kate and explains where James is. She injects that he could have just TOLD her where James was, but Smoke Thang is more interested in getting her alone to discuss some things. He insists he isn't a 'dead man'. He knows how Kate is feeling because he once had a crazy mother too. One who caused him great 'growing pains'. Problems he's still trying to work through. My main question here is: Are these truly Smoke Thing's memories or his he being
consumed by the memories of the real Locke, the man whose body he now inhabits. By what means... I have no clue. Kate's not sure where this is all going but Smoke Thang clears things up by letting her know that now Aaron has a crazy mom too now. Get it? Got it! Good.

Aboard the sub, James is led at gunpoint past a double padlocked door. "What's behind the door," we insist James inquires! He does, but he/we ain't getting any answers any time soon. He's led further inside to the office of the crews leader, Charles Widmore! James knows who he is....the asshole that wasted a whole season sending a freighter full of jerkoffs just to give us Miles. Next time send a parachute! James asserts that they were sent by Widmore him to KILL them all. Widmore rebuts that James knows 'very little'. James doesn't believe him and he cuts to the chase. He reveals to Widmore that he was sent to Hydra Island on a recon mission by 'Locke' who's dead (We know!!....BUT, listen, he's not Locke...we know...WE ALL KNOW!!!) James has a deal for him though. James will return to 'Locke' and tell him the coast is clear in order to lure 'Locke' there so that Widmore can kill him. They both smile and Widmore asks what James wants in exchange. He's got a two point plan: 1) His people don't get 'touched' (watch your words, dummy!) 2) They get safe passage off of the island. Seems James has turned on his Smokey leader. Widmore and James shake on it, they both assert that the other can't be trusted. So it seems both of them have just made a deal with a fool. Widmore, even, never
really laid out if Smoke Thing's death was really what he was interested in, and they part ways.

And at Camp Smoke Thang, Kate is startled when an apologetic yet still Kooky Claire sneaks up on her. Crazy Claire accepts that Kate cares about she and Aaron. Yeah, just keep an eye on yer rifle when your huggin' this bi-polar bear, umm'K?

Back to James who arrives back on island #1 to report back to Smoke Thang. James has figured out that Smokey didn't care much for knowing what the leftover passengers of the Ajira flight were up to.... but he let's him know that they're all dead just in case. He tells Smokes that Widmore and his crew have arrived, a name Smoke Thang is obviously familiar with. James basically spills the rest of the truth about what he told Widmore and what he saw
there. He inserts that Team Smoke Thang can now change their plan and catch them with their pants down. Oh, and he left out 1 minor thing, just the part in which he has now hedged his bets... James has just negotiated safe return from the island with both parties no matter who wins this next big altercation. If that IS indeed what this all is. I'm grasping at more than a few straws here when I theorize that there is only really 2 sides to this war...Jacob's or Smoke Thang's side. If that's true, does Widmore's team stand a chance without a mystical being like Smokey or Jacob at the helm? One would assume that he'd have to dissolve his crew into either Jacob or Smoke Thang's side of the battle. NOW that being said, we know Jacob stressed an evil man was coming to the island soon (Widmore!) That, coupled with the thought that he probably wouldn't be caught dead on the team with Ben, who's always really been on Team Jacob, despite his evil ways...and it's safe to say Widmore won't be on that team, unless he does some serious attitude adjusting. I'd say Smokey probably knew full well that Widmore and his crew have arrived...because he summoned him there to help him escape. That would mean that sending James there was just another long con, trying to deduced what side of the scale James was truly on. If that's the case, did he pass? Did he fail? Am I a raving lunatic (umm yes)

Finally, at Camp Smoke Thang, it's night time and Kate warms herself by the fire. James approaches and ask what's for dinner "rabbit!" (Of course! The DHARMA kind? Eating test rabbits does this cause some of all these unexplainable unnaturalness in the castaways....now I'm REALLY reaching...I know) James fills Kate in on the truth about what's going on with Smoke Thang and Widmore (the truth as he knows it) He reassures her that he's not on either side. "Let them fight it out," he stresses, "and while their hands are full of each other, YOU and ME are getting off this island!" (vomit at team James/Kate) Shared smiles. Kate wonders who'll fly the plane. No need when they'll be taking the sub!


Things I'm pondering. Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

• Miles-X is alive and well in Universe-X. Does he have the ability to channel the dead in this universe as well?
• Did Chang-X and his family ever go to the island under the DHARMA Iniatiave? If so, when did they leave? Is it related to the issues that made Roger 'Uncle Rico' Linus-X leave with Ben-X? Will the Flash Sideways ever be fully explained or does it not even matter in the grand scheme of things?! Does this Dr. Chang still have both his hands?
• Sexy recap reader, Briana, wondered (asked me) why Ford-X let Kate-X go in the airport elevator in 'LA-X' if he was a cop all that time, when he seemed pretty keen that something criminal was go on with her. Thanks Bri, now you got me pondering this too.
• What, or more importantly WHO, is being kept behind that door. Last week I hoped any combination of Desmond, Penny and family were aboard the sub with Charles Widmore. Could one of them be behind door number one? Here's to hoping! What/Ẁho is your guess?

A fun tale this week, no? No huge revelations but a lot of preparations and set ups for the big war that's about to come. Or so I think...but what do I know? Much like I feel in the New York City subway system, week after week, I just find myself..........................LOST!

- JB