So on the eve of the release of The Expendables 3, Sly Stallone is sitting pretty. He has hatched a successful action movie franchise from a kitchsche idea and turned into a money making machine. But he is always looking for the next step, and the truth of the matter is that he ain't getting any younger as he approaches 70 rather quick. So why not maybe getting the ladies into the Expendables game? They are kicking around an idea for a movie called 'The Expendabelles', which would see a female version of the squad possibly headed up by Ripley herself... SIGOURNEY WEAVER!!! Weaver would play Barney Ross's (Sly's character) ex-wife... and her team could be made of some older and newer action heroines. So who would make your dream team of Expendabelles? Check out my picks after the jump....
So Weaver as the leader is the rumor, and it is a given. She is the perfect age, a vintage star just like Sly, and a beautiful ass kicker in her later years (see Avatar and Cabin In The Woods for proof). I would totally believe her leading the team. Here is who else I would like to see:
2) Angelina Jolie - She has moved on from her action star roots (think Lara Croft, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Salt) for more heady roles, but she can still kick major ass and look better than most chicks half her age doing it. She would be a great #2 to Weaver... and those lips were made for KISSIN' baby!!!
3) Uma Thurman - Another former butt kicker that has become a solid overall actress, this chick needs to channel her inner Bride and get the Hatori Hanzo out one last time. Start stabbing some bitches and teaching some manners. And hopefully she will do it barefoot, for Quentin's benefit...
4) Kate Beckinsale - This chick looks great in latex body suits, but boy she is much more than a sexy body in a skintight suit. She kicked some serious tail in those Underworld movies, and I for one would love to hear her English accent on the team a la Statham. This governess can kick some ass....
5) Michelle Yeoh - Full disclosure, I would prefer to see Lucy Liu in the role of the Asian team member... not for any ass kicking reasons, more because I think she is a beautiful Asian kumquat. But Yeoh is much more bad ass and good to look at to. I have to go with her.... but Maggie Q might also be on this list too. Maybe an Asian spinoff off shoot team with these 3 teaming up with Jet Li, Jackie Chan and Lockheed Lee? Get in there!!!
6) Milla Jovovich - Resident Evil, multiple movies. Bigger ass kicker in every one. Leelo Dallas Multipass has to be on any team of Expendabelles. Must be....
7) Sarah Michelle Gellar - She is still relatively young, but an old school ass kicker from her Vamp killing days as Whedon's first bad ass chick in Buffy. You put in that many seasons of punches, kicks and impalements and you are definitely qualified for the 'Belles.
8) Rhona Mitra - She is another underrated action star. She did good in her turn in the Underworld prequel... but check her out in Doomsday. That is all the proof you might need. She is pretty easy to look at too...
9) Lucy Lawless - Finally, can't have a list like this without The Warrior Princess. Xena needs to be on here so she can just dominate any chick or dude they may come across. And also so she can rock gladiator sandals while doing it, so that is a plus. And she certainly can take a dick (see her on Spartacus), which makes her the prime candidate on the team for the sex scene the movie needs.
Honorable mentions: Scarlett Johanson (hot, and totally kicking ass as Black Widow and Lucy), Zoe Saldana (Losers, Trek, Colombiana and Guardians... need I say more?), Linda Hamilton (Terminator chicks.. ), Summer Glau (the most recently washed up action sci-fi girl), Eliza Dushku (another Whedon vet), Carrie Fisher (Leia may be one of the original badass chicks of cinema), and Pam Grier (Freeze... i'm Jackie Brown bitch!!!)
So how bout you? Tell us your list of 10 Expendabelles in the comments below!!!
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