More Proof That Famous People Are Dumb As Shit: A Rant By Mike D

Dunn on the night of his death boozing it up...

I am beginning to become appalled with the celeb obsessed culture we are living in nowadays. These people who achieve fame nowadays (I hesitate to call them celebrities because this is the reality show/information age and everyone is getting media coverage) really believe that they are impervious to any consequences. Thanks to the natural laws of the world, these celebs are proven wrong on a regular basis and find new ways to embarrass/harm/destroy themselves weekly. Case in point:

What was left of Dunn's Porsche... DONT DRINK & DRIVE!!!

'Jackass' star Ryan Dunn died in a car wreck a few days ago, and people are flooding their Facebook statuses with "RIP" salutes, screaming how sad it is. Now, I liked Dunn's work more then most people... who doesn't like nutshots and toy cars being stuck up peoples asses? I actually LOVE 'Jackass' but, from the minute of his death, I new there was more to this story. First, he was tweeting pics of him and his boys downing beers a mere 2 hours before his car wreck. That was probably a hint that he was drunk before he drove. But now the police are reporting that he was travelling between 130-140 MPH and his blood alcohol level was .196, nearly TWICE the legal limit which is .08. So that means he willing boozed it up all night, jumped behind the wheel of his Porsche, and careened off the road into a forest at a similar speed to a NASCAR driver. Yeah... I feel really bad for him. Dick...

The Hot Wheel car that Dunn stuck up his own ass... now that's talent!!!

See, here is the thing. I have made plenty of bad decisions. I know this. I am not trying to be preachy or self righteous... that's not it at all. I have driven drunk, and I made it through many of those nights with little more then a hangover the next day. But as a 32 year old, I am a lot more mature now. I realize that if I am drunk, I should just take a cab home because I can hurt myself but, more importantly others. I have too much to lose. Celebrities make poor decisions like this all the time. Why? They have the money to have a driver, or better yet a friend to be a paid assistant to make sure they are OK. What is so hard about this? If my boy was famous, I would do this as a job. Why not? It's like having Eric & Turtle from 'Entourage' with you. One of them has to be the responsible one. Then these celeb douches hurt themselves and everybody cries about how sad it is. Why? They made the dick move, so they get no love from me...

Listen, I am not trying to be a downer. But if anybody has ever been to traffic court you see tons of regular joes who have spent the night in jail, lost their licenses, all due to Drunk Driving. Yet, celebs like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have been arrested multiple times for driving under the influence and get slaps on the wrist. What if they KILLED an innocent person? That would be a real tragedy. And now we have Mr. Dunn shooting his car over a guardrail. Now he is dead. And I should be broken up about this? Why? I save my pity for those abused animals on the commercial with the Sarah McLaughlin songs (gets me every time) and soldiers who die in war defending our country. I save my RIP pity for celebs like Peter Sellers and Gilda Radner who died of Heart Failure and Cancer at ages of 54 and 42, way before their time.

RIP Gilda

These people not only had real talent, but were snatched from the Earth way to soon. And I should feel bad for a guy who achieved fame (and millions of bucks) for using a trampoline to shoot himself into a moving ceiling fan? Get the fuck outta here. Guys like Dunn & DJ AM, and losers like Lohan & Hilton will never get my respect. And they damn sure won't get my sympathy. It's sad to see someone die... but lets just be happy that he didn't kill some innocent bystander or kid in the process.

On a side note, Lindsay Lohan failed a alcohol test while she was on house arrest after her 15 run in with the law. Yeah, she was really being punished by being forced to stay in her lavish home with her friends coming over to party it up. Put that bitch in jail already... come on man! Real jail helped out Robert Downey Jr. and plenty of others. Let her experience 6 months in prison. I guarantee this nonsense stops.